As you all know (or are learning, or perhaps only 'suspected') Solstice is a 'big deal' to me.  *shrug* Everybody's' got Something, right?  Anniversary,  Birthday, a Religious holiday/feast day, SOME small handful of days that 'mean' something to them...Well, solstice is one of those fer me.  *grin*  Not sure WHY, either. *laughs*

It's not an excuse to blow off a day of responsibilities, (don't need an excuse to do that *wink*) and it's not a Shaman/Wiccan thing (although it is a 'big' day fer people of those beliefs, which includes me)...I think it's when I started givin my Mother real Hell, kickin and clawin and turnin around sayin 'let me the hell out of here I'm READY TA BE BORN' *giggles* 'cause in another couple weeks is the anniversary of when I finally made it out of that nice warm quiet place into this hellhole we call the world....

The same goes fer the end of October...*giggles* tha's a 'big day' fer me too.  Not because October feast is so much fun or anything,,,just, well, that's about the time me folks were, um, making me *laughs*  Took me years ta figure that out *blush* I know I know, take nine months away from me birthday and tha's when they were, um, doing it, easy math...no, THAT part was easy ta figure out *grin* just the WHY these two days of the year have Always been so funky for me...

And I do mean ALWAYS.  Even when I was a little kid late june and late october have Always been FUNKY times of year fer me...a lot of shit seems to happen then, or begin, or end, whether I'm lookin for it or not *shrug*

I've never 'celebrated'  summer solstice in quite the same way twice...One year it was a scheduled day off from work and I simply walked into the woods, removed my clothing, and talked to trees and stuff *laughs* without the help of drugs *poke*  One year I went out to Elf Woods and feasted with the Elves.  One year I spent the day with Paul, it was his Birthday and a rather special day fer him too *grin*  One year I organized a party fer out the road and a bunch of us went out as far away from town as we could get and just went a little crazy, big bonfire, lots of drinks and food and other things...One year I sat in a barn casting my I Ching and hand crafting a Rune set...

There is no 'fixed' ritual...Which confused Gary a bit *giggles* (not hard to do, confuse Gary *wink*) but he's only been in on my more party type celebrations...This year it decided to rain on solstice, and Gary asked me 'how are we gonna party if it's raining??' *Laughs!*  Karen too  was/is still under the impression that this is a time to overindulge *shrug*  She kept pestering me last night until I finally went over there and watched the newest  ALIEN movie with her (fun flick, by the way)

Everybody has their own ideas about it...me?  this is the 'day' I simply listen to my mind/body/soul and do whatever it says to do *shrug*  33 years ago me mind/body/soul was sayin 'get the fuck outta here NOW or you might NEVER make it, bub' *giggles*

So, what IS solstice, anyway??????

*giggles*

Well, the short of it is it's that brief instant in our planets orbit around the sun where the Earths northern hemisphere is pointed as much towards the sun as it can get, giving the people north of the equator the longest day/shortest night possible (and, of course, the exact opposite for those folks South of the equator)  Most folks I know look at summer solstice as the Longest Day of the year...call me cantankerous but I've always viewed it as the Shortest Night of t he year *grin*  NOT the favorite 'day' of Vampyres, I assure you *laughs*

So what did I do fer solstice this year?? *giggles*  Nothing too terribly exciting I'm afraid.  After doing the politically correct thing of visiting with me neighbor and watching that movie, I came home and locked all the doors, turned off EVERYTHING (lights, fans, stereo *shudder* teevee, computer...EVERYTHING) and for a while just SAT there and listened...to myself, to the world around me...

The Portal opened and I stepped through.

*sigh*

Everybody has a way to grasp/understand the various portals that appear in our lives...(I'm still looking fer the BIG ONE *giggles*)  Some people call it 'dreaming' or even 'lucid dreaming'...other phrases have been used, 'hallucinate', 'meditate', 'enter a trance', 'behold a vision', 'go whacko'. *snicker* call it what you will.

As always, only that part of me that is different from, say, this table and chair, or You,  passed through.  The 'energy' parts...memory and thought...the 'soul' I guess *sigh* (this can be a touchy semantic subject to some people)  Suffice it to say that only my 'mind' passed through the portal and my 'body' stayed plopped firmly down on the sofa where I left it....(Someday I hope to find That Portal which will allow 'both' to pass through, to actually physically transgress the barriers between dimensions)

Once again I was in that red desert with green skies.  Ever been there? In your dreams or at a Grateful Dead concert or something?  Always felt like Mars to me...a Mars of long ago/long from now...a Mars that is Alive.  Cool red sands with rosy ruins and 'things' just over the horizon.  Yggdrasll towers over the horizon in one direction, seemingly a world away yet easily reached within a few steps...

A dense forest is off in another direction, full of life and death.  A forest both bright and dark...many 'guides' have warned me of the forest, of the creatures that dwell there and the mischief they are capable of...and whereas I've had the living bejeezus startled out me while exploring there, I have yet to encounter anything that was...stronger...than me.

A watery realm is close by, full of oceans and lakes and rivers, as is an icy realm...and others...all over the horizon, worlds away and yet you can walk to them in a short period of time...

The red desert seems to be my starting point.  I don't Always start here, but most of the time this is the beginning.  There are ruins here.  And a man.  I know much and nothing about him...perhaps he's me in some other aspect...I dunno.  We never talk although we've communicated often...*shrug* All the other realms are odd that way, too....

I poked around the ruins.  Above ground they are mostly just well worn boulders, but if you look at them just right you can see the faint remains of ancient carvings...images and symbols of Times gone by.  Below ground there is a seemingly endless array of chambers and passages festooned with symbols and doorways.

The man has always struck me as an archeologist...a scientist of types...more than just a casual adventurer or explorer.  He is a busy man, always on the move, taking notes, mapping the ruins and their many doorways.  For this reason I'm never suprised if I don't bump into him...the place is BIG and he could be Anywhere, ya know?  But I ALWAYS see signs of him...his campsite, footprints, a backpack or lantern or some other tools of his trade laying about.

Last night however, his presence was strangely absent.  The ruins had always felt Old, true, but not 'dead', not 'empty'...Last  night 'tho, last night they felt as if they'd been vacant for quite sometime.

Well, I hadn't been there in ages too, so, hey, maybe he just packed up and moved somewhere else, ya know?  No biggy.

I headed off towards Yggdrasll.  It had been too long since my last visit, for a variety of reasons.  Not one of which is that my last encounter with the Norns did not end on the best of terms *grins* I REALLY pissed them off.  Which I think suprised Them more than it did me.

The three Norns that tend Yggdrasll are the Fates, past, present, and future...in Theory, between the three of 'em, they should fucking know it All, right?  At least, tha's how I've always understood it.  So anything I ever do shouldn't be much of a suprise to 'em, right?  *laughs* Well, on my last visit I suprised them!

I'd been visiting the Norns for sometime.  For the most part they were pretty standoffish, but after a while they'd acknowlege me a bit, and sometimes even let me tag along with them while they tended the tree and did their thing.  They showed  me the tunnel underneath the tree that leads to the well of memories and other such springs, and the many chambers of the underworlds...they told me about the well of memories but forbade me to drink from it *laughs* (they could never agree on anything, it seemed.  They forbade me to drink from it 'just yet', 'maybe', and 'never' !!)

They showed me the spring, and the silver cup attached to a chain used for drinking from the waters, and the statue/god carved into the living rock that protected the well...there were steps carved into the rock leading right down into the water, and the bottom of the pool was covered with brightly colored pebbles and what looked like bits of treasure.  The water was of course crystal clear, and not stagnant at all but flowing gently to some hidden place.  The air too was flowing and rich with watery sounds.  All in all it was Way Groovy.

Those steps though, they were nagging at the back of my head.  The Norns were going on and on about this special cup that I would soon never maybe drink from *laughs* and how it was the only thing that should enter the waters and what not...

...then why the steps into the pool?

Needless to say, the next time I went back (which turned out to be the last time) I was more than curious about those steps.  When I arrived, no one was around.  As I said, this doesn't suprise me much because Most of the time no one is around...or if anyone IS around they just ignore you anyway.

I knew the way so I just zipped down the tunnels to the well.  I entered the chamber and nodded at the statue that guards the place and just stood there for a moment.  It was That Easy.  That freaked me out and I almost lost my grip on that place....'waking up' as it were, snapping back to This Realm....but I didn't.  Enstead I DOVE right into the pool!

This Really freaked me 'cause I don't dive.  Leaping head first into Anything, even water, ain't my idea of 'clever', ya know?

I don't know what came over me, but in that split second of 'uh-oh, I'm getting booted' I KNEW that if I didn't act now I never would get the chance again.  And perhaps being in the process of being booted out, of being neither 'here' nor 'there' but 'in-between', is what gave me the Powers to do what I did, however it happened, I dove into the pool....

...and was EXHILARATED!!! It was awesome, invigorating, exciting, thrilling, terrifying....

I'd broken every rule.  Not just 'made up rules' like stop at a stop sign, not just 'moral' rules like don't kill yer neighbor, not just 'natural' rules like ya drop an apple and it falls...but All the rules.  *giggles* ya, you just got away with murder while running a red light and defying gravity, quite a rush, huh?

Ya, so, okay, the water was clear as air and the bottom of the pond WAS just littered with shinny bits of treasures and trinkets and artifacts...TONS of stuff to explore and learn from.   And sure the water was invigorating and cool and refreshing and all that, but it WAS water and a guy's gotta breath, so, I sputtered forth to the surface...

Only to find all hell breaking loose.  The Norns were standing on the edge of the pool yellin' and yammerin' at me to get the fuck out of there RIGHT NOW, and the statue/god was in the process of ripping himself free from the rock walls he was carved from.  HE didn't look none to happy to be called into work at such a fucked up hour.

The Norns were skirting the edge of the pool...they wouldn't enter the water to get me.  I splashed some water their way and they ran back from it, screeching and cursing me.  I laughed and splashed at them some more.  That made them keep their distance.

Something, probably the water, was making me giddy and heady and, well, POWERFUL *laughs*  I splashed at the statue that was now wading towards me but ya, he's the guard, of course the water ain't gonna mess with him none, right?

And I don't know How I knew, but I KNEW that if those massive stone hands of his ever got a grip on me tha's it, GAME OVER *giggles*

So I swam away, following the flow of the current, and quickly outpaced the stone lummox that was gonna kill me.  After a bit I could see a different kind of light ahead, and the mouth of the chamber where the waters flowed out to...hey where did these waters empty out into anyway?

I didn't have a clue, and perhaps that was my downfall, I don't know, for in that instant the mouth of the chamber closed.  Not slowly and dramatically like in a movie, not maliciously snapping shut, but just ZAP it was closed like it was never even there and the chamber was instantly plunged into total darkness...

It also began to fill up with water.

Okay, wake up, this ain't cool no more at ALL.

And the water rose and floated me uptowards the ceiling, no longer cool and clear but now cold and brackish and seething with sea monsters.  And somewhere below me, walking along the bottom, was one pissed off stone statue waiting to grab my foot and pull me under.

And I groveled and whimpered and begged and pleaded and Couldn't 'wake up' and come back here no matter how hard I tried--which freaked me more than the other shit going on around me, usually it was the other way around, almost impossible to Stay There, always getting yanked back Here--

And I drowned *shrug*  The chamber filled up, I breathed in the water, there was a black explosion in my head, and I opened my eyes to find myself back Here again, sitting in my barn, sopping wet.

It was a gazillion degrees out and the water dried fast, clinging to my skin, binding.... shrouding me in a bit of the Other place.