Subject:
        Last Lazyletter
   Date:
        Thu, 12 Nov 1998 12:15:01 -0800
 

*yawn*

FuddyDuddyPower

*giggles*

so THIS morning I'm peeing and the grass is back, and the trail, and the
boardwalk, and the road...

and rain.

*sigh*

gittin' more than a little tired of the rain.

Alaskan rain that is *grin*  California rain wouldn't be all that bad
*wink*
just THREE MORE WEEKS now he hee heeee heeeeeee

got a letter from Her yesterday *dreamy*  she said to forget the mittens
and bring an umbrella when I come to california  *grin*

hmmm

not a lot goin' on at the factory... some projects I'm blowing off, a
little fish here and there... a few totally psycho lifers left wandering
around in a glassy glaze...according to the call out todays major
project is Defrosting the fridge *giggles*

okay, tha' may not seem like a biggy to YOU but our fridge holds a
couple of million pounds of Stuff *shrug* it's pretty big...

*sigh*

seventwenty an' I ain't even dressed yet... THA'S IT, me motivator is
busted.  only way ta fix it is ta bar all the doors, yank the phone
outta the wall, and Arm meself Heavily *cocks his glock*

*giggles*

guys and their glocks *laughs*  ESPECIALLY in the mornings... wonder why
that is?

hmmm, I mean, I KNOW guys want it all the time, *shrug*  We're GUYS,
*laughs* we're genetic apperations, Mutants, a busted X chromosone...
*sigh*  less than perfect.... but fer some reason, historically and
cross culturally, it seems that guys want it More in the mornings...

hmmmm...

is it carry over from caveman stuff??? back in the days when the Only
way you were gonna get ANY was ta club 'em up side the head or git 'em
drunk or sneak up on 'em when they were sleepin'...?

*sigh*

hate this politically correct age we live in...

Look at a girl sideways and yer sexually harrasing her.  Give 'er a job
and it's nepitism... if she says 'yes' and then decides she didn't like
it (or you) it's daterape... *sigh*  If she marries you she gits it ALL,
the house, the kids, the money...

I have no doubts whatsoever that SOME men treated SOME women very poorly
over the centuries, just as Some blacks were treated poorly by some
whites, or some communists were treated poorly by some capitalists....
*shrug* but that was THEM and THEN and THERE...

not me, here and now.  I've traveled a bit.... met some communitsts in
me life... they reamed me fer being a capitalist!  Forget the fact that
I wasn't even around durning the cold war or the bay of pigs, before I
even opened my mouth I was condemed.  I'd get the 'You Americans'
thing... same with the blacks... every year some come up here, and ream
me for being white, like it's My Fault! *laughs*  Doesn't matter that I
never burned a cross in anybodies yard in me life, doesn't matter that I
was the MINORITY at some of the schools I went too, doesn't matter that
I supported the Panthers... *giggles* (Peace--through superior firepower
*wink*) I'm White therefore BAD. *sigh*

and the ladies...

*sigh*

I'm sure it's a bit differant down south... God I HOPE it's a bit
differant down there!!! but here, if you just say 'hi' to a girl tha's
it, you are 'Just like all the rest!  ALL you want is sex'  *sigh*

*poke*

that aint ALL I want sister *grin*

*bursts out laughing!!!*

Hell, sex is for sale on any street corner anywhere, includeing Here, if
tha's ALL you want.

I want your soul.

*wicked grin*

I want to be wanted...*sigh*

Stooooopid, huh? *shrug*

well, I AM a guy *laughs*

*sigh*

I am getting Tired of being accused of being something I'm NOT though.

I mean, SURE I want to Fuck, WHO HERE CAN HONESTLY SAY THEY DON'T WANT
TOO???? hmmm??  it's FUN! *wink*

*sigh*

yesterday at lunch the highschool kids are walkin' down the hill goin'
to the stores and what not... I'm walkin' up the hill headin' home fer
lunch, and a pack of teenage girls walks by... four of 'em are all
bundled up in there parkas and coats (it was Cold yesterday, remember??)
but the fifth one was just carrying her coat.  All she had on under her
coat was a nice TIGHT white teeshirt.... just a teeshirt.  it's 30
degrees out and shes wearing a teeshirt.  so they are walking DOWN hill,
I'm walking UP hill... you can imagine... first thing I see is their
feet... then legs... then waist,,, torso... then there's her chest
bouncing more or less in my face *sigh*  I didn't TRY to look at them,
they were just... THERE ... ya know?  then another step and I'm lookin'
into her eyes... and she's SNEERING at me!!! Lookin' at me like I'm the
biggest piece of shit to crawl outta the slime since creation.  a few
more steps and they are behind me, an' I can hear 'em laughing and the
words 'old' and 'pervert'

*sigh*

I'M an old pervert because SHE took off her coat and waved her tits in
my face *laughs*  (they WERE nice *giggles*)

grrrrr

thing is, she's probably a bigger 'pervert' than me *grins*

see, I'm 33 and a half Years old, and in these past 33 years that I've
been kickin' around this planet I've spent less than One Year in the
company of a woman... (two months with Athena,  and nine months with
Gilda spread out over a three year period of time)

so, a little basic math here, let's see, hmmm, tha's, um, less than 1/33
of my life spent on quality time with a member of the opposite sex...

wonder what her ratios are... hmmm, *does the Spock thing*  she was
about 18, figure she hooked up with someone when she was 15ish (they
tend to start early on the island, folks *shrug*) soo--- 3/18...or 1/6
of Her life *giggles*

but tha's speculation...

me old man hooked up with me mom when he was about 20, and ya sure, they
divorced, but he hooked up with me step mom right after that and he's
like 50 now... so that's what?  3/5 of his life... Not Bad Dad *wink*

Al's been hooked up with Marivic for what?  Four years now?? something
like that... so, um, 4/34... somewhere between 1/8 and 1/9 of his
life...

there's some folks on me list that are in their early 20's and have been
hooked up since they were like 15-16... about 1/4 of their lives for
them *shrug*

1/33 is NOT very much *grin*

ya ya, I know, Some people go through life with a ratio Worse than mine
*shrug*

just not very many *laughs*

an' let's face it, they are all loosers anyway *smirk*

okay okay, so I'm a looser too *shrug* thought it was tattooed on me
forehead *peeks in the mirror*

Being single DOES have it's advantages though... pretty dam Good ones,
actually *wink*  The option of saying Fuck This Noise and walkin'
whenever I dam well feel like it is Nice *grin*  FREEDOM is a groovy
thing.

Freedom is the only thing keeping me sane (with what little sanity I
have left, that is *grin*) these days...  hell the Only thing the
factory can do to me is fire ME.  just ME.  my mate won't freak (don't
have one) me kids won't starve (don't have any) *laughs*  An' the only
thing any of me comrades or advesaries can do is rough me up or whack me
*shrug*  Like I've Never been roughed up before *snicker* an if they
whack me then I ain't a part of this Realm anymore so no biggy from
where I'm sittin'. *shrug*

*giggles*  Tha's something that NONE of me bosses down at the factory
except fer John Demick way back when have Ever figured out.. all the
others have done the 'if ya don't do this then yer FIRED' or 'if ya
don't do this shitty job I'll make ya do that even shittier job enstead'
thing.  Not John though...

see, I started here in 1990, a real gungho greenhorn, and I started off
Good, but burned me self out before the end of the season and blew off a
lot a days... and John had ta take me aside and ream me and write me up
because it's 'the rules' then he Really Reamed me for making him Have to
Ream me! *giggles*  Hey Rob, remember when I reamed YOU way back because
you were thinkin' of quittin yer BlahBlahBlah letters??  It was THAT
kind of reamin'.... "GODDAMIT TORB!!! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU THINKIN'
BOY??? BEST GODDAMMED TRAYER I HAVE!! TAKES THREE OF THEM BOZOS TO
FILL
YOUR SHOES!!! I NEED *YOU* OUT THERE NOW!!!!"  *giggles*  needless to
say it did inspire me to finish out the season *wink*

So next season I come back thinkin' I can hack it 'cause I survived the
last one... only the '91 salmon season was Killer.  Tons of Fish
*giggles*  More than the previous season by a long shot, and I started
ta loose it *sigh* (hey, I was Young then *grin*) an John saw that I was
startin ta loose it and did one of the most Cleverest things I've Ever
seen a boss do;  he let me and Athena work together some of the time
*laughs*  Easy, huh?  And I didn't miss a day after that *giggles*
INSPIRATION *wink*

*eyes the clock, the second empty pot of coffee, the stash box that has
been empty for Far Too Long, and the Length of this letter*

Ever get the feeling that I'm just Babbling on endlessly?

Ya, I get that sometimes too *grin*

Insanity is a groovy thing too, *wicked grin*  It lets you do things
like this and not really give a rats ass *laughs*

hmmmm

*seriously ponders not sending this*

I'm not sure about the lazyletters anymore...

I've ALWAYS bitched and moaned in them to some extent, but lately that
seems like All I do anymore...

when's the last time I DESCRIBED something?? I mean other than psycho
dribble or the way her tits bounced?

*ponders*

forever and a day it seems...

*sigh*

stuck in a rut

Robs Blahletters get stuck in a rut... are a rut.  a nice safe smooth
sailin' rut. *grin*  But he Hops ruts just when it's startin' ta
git...weird.  He'll go off on shoppin' fer a while... and just when ya
start ta notice that he's been goin' off on shoppin' for a while he'll
hop tracks and go off on driving for a while, *laughs* and then hop
tracks again and go off on religion, or sex, or drugs, or politics...
*grins* well, you get the point.  He changes channels from time to
time...

And the SoapboxBandwagon that marched through here a while back! *bursts
out laughing!!!*

Do you have ANY idea how much FLACK I'm taking for that??? *Rolls on the
floor in fits of giggles*

*grins*  hey, just between YOU and ME, hit the Reply to All button as
many times as yer little heart desires *wink*  I happen to dig it a lot
*wicked grin*

but really people, grow up.  to snap at ME because somebody in outter
Mongolia hit the reply to all button IS rather silly, don't you think??

I only sent ONE letter.  *heavy sigh* and two dozen people snapped at me
for something somebody else had to say about it....

ever get the feeling that I'm on my third pot of coffee???

Ya, I get that sometimes too *grin*

I also get the feeling that this should be the last lazyletter...

I'm not sure they are doing what they were supposed to do anymore...

I'm not sure spillin' me guts ta me coworkers and fellow rock dwellers
is too groovy a thing either *sigh*  They only wanted on the list ta
hear about the insanity in my part of the factory, ta hear the gossip
and who's doin' who and what I was saying about THEM to YOU...

*sigh*

I've always been reluctant to add island dwellers to my list... since
Day Fucking One this computer, my email and chatrooms and homepage, have
ALL been ways for ME to get OFF this rock for a while... to go somewhere
and let my hair down... to Escape this place for just a Little While...
*sigh*  For ME.

and it's Not happening anymore.

Not a day goes by that Somebody here doesn't mention something to me
about something that happend online... off the clock and far from
here...
and they mention it in Public, around people who aren't even on the
list...
that pretty much deletes the whole purpose of the excercise...

I know, they don't Mean too, they aren't Trying too, but they do
nonetheless. *shrug*  each one of 'em that signs on is just one more
chain around me neck though... no matter how Cool or Good Natured that
chain is, it's still pretty fucking heavy, ya know?

And you folks Off the rock... you didn't All sign on ta watch the crazy
man lose it *giggles* oh a few of you sadistic fucks did, but not all of
ya *wink*

You signed on ta learn about Alaska and hear about the rugged beauty of
the place, and me War on Fish and spooky tales from the freezers *grin*
You signed on for stories and entertainment and Fun *smiles*  And what
did you get??  A gazzillion emails about blowjobs *laughs*

I feel pretty shitty about that...

I also feel like I'm killing my best friend in the whole wide world

Each one of you is pretty fucking important to me in one way or another,
you wouldn't be on the list if you weren't....

*sigh*

I dunno.

I know it's time ta Kill the list though...  this last bit was more than
I needed.

feels like I got nowhere ta run to anymore...

an tha's Killing Me.

*shrug*

It's a matter of survival... *eyes the list suspiciously*

ya.

it's time.

This officially ENDS the 1998 lazyletters.

Thank you all Very Much for sharing this season with me... it was a Lot
of Fun and it Did help a lot.

I don't know what 1999 has in store for us... we'll cross that bridge
when we get there.

Keep in touch.

*laughs*

YOU have the list now, Grasshopper.

Reach out and Touch someone.

Love you All

seeya

Torbjon W. Jensen
November 12th
1998
Petersburg AK