Subject:
        lazy
   Date:
        Sun, 03 Oct 1999 19:36:04 -0800
 
 

Don't Ever ever ever pour a mega mug of hot black in super slow motion
onto your Nintendo 64.

Ever.

Forget the fact that the bloody thing will spit sparks and snarl atcha

Forget the fact that it makes a Hell of a mess

Forget the fact that when the smoke clears, the commie killin' machine
will most likely be a slagged sack of silicone

Ponder the silly signals sent by the synapses of said bozoboy as he
pours the extramegalarge mug of mud offa the coffee table (where it
Belongs) an' onto the Nintendo (where it Doesn't belong) in Super Slow
Motion *laughs*

ya, it's the slow motion gig that gits ya *sigh* TONS of infinitely long
Nows for synapses to go haywire in *snickers*

First involuntary knee jerk reaction was just that, I Jerked me knee
*Laughs!!*  a TOTALLY useless motion that ate up precious nanoseconds
and pulled a muscle.

The next Non Thinking Reaction was to 'Catch It' *laughs*  Catch 16
ounces of scalding hot liquid, Highly clever conclusion, that *smirks*
but too late, I'd already started ta twist about... kinda popped me back
on that one...

Tha's when like, the One clever brain cell in there said "well, just
Move the Nintendo outta the way, ya moron", which, if I'd had that
thought First, I mighta Actually have been able to kick the thing outta
the way...

But the knee jerk an' half twist had me all wrong, so all I managed ta
do was ta thrust me leg under the super slow stream of black steam long
enough ta let me know that Yep, It's Hot Alright *laughs*

Okay, so I've been distracted the past couple of days... distracted ta
the point of loosin' sleep over it *sigh*  and I'm not sure what to do
about it... I've exhausted most of my options.

I'd been chattin' an' emailing with someone I'm Very Curious about,
things were pretty groovy, last note I got was along the lines of "hey,
I'm sick and feverish, we'll chat later" which, okay, cool, I can dig
that... but that was TEN days ago now... *sigh* whereas before we were
droppin' each other notes like every other day... *sigh*

It's an odd scene, I USED to know this person pretty well, but that was
a while ago, for all I know a two week hiatus somewhere could be normal
now, I dunno *shrugs*

it's just the 'hey I'm sick' then Silence, ya know? *shudders*

*sigh*

mmph.

'Trapped in the skies
What am I to do??
Brothers from another planet
YOU know the truth.
Papa was a rollin' stone
Nigga never (blough!!)
Things I used to do with Her
I now do Alone
Beautiful Blizzards
Glazing brightly neon towers.
I roam, grappling with a load
Make these pigs eighty six my frozen toes
AH!
Fuck that bullshit
Rather walk alone
I'm standing on the verge of...
YOU know the song.'

--MORCHEEBA--
  a very Poor translation of Big Calm
 

I gotta go
Torbjon
 

Major product endorsement fer Nintendo 64, the bloody thing Still
Works!!! no, REALLY, even After the ultramegalarge dose of caffeine,
even after the spark spitting, couple of whacks with a hammer an' the
thing is as good as new... sorta.

At least I can still kill commies *dreamy*

And the person that I thought was abducted by aliens never ta be heard
from again?  got a not from 'em just last night... they's still kickin
an' me worrying' was fer not, an' whereas I slept like a BABY last night
fer the first time in some days... *sigh*... me worryin' has got me ta
thinkin' and soul searchin' 'cause said person neither desires nor
requires my concerns, but I do it anyway... mmmph.  Very unenlightened
way ta live a life, lemme tell ya *laughs*

So today I go ta work, feelin' Groovy 'cause neither machine nor comrade
is dead, an' it's a Typical MONDAY.

Whitey, remember Whitey, me old boss?  ya, well, his last I Love You was
ta totally reorganize holding five, my major hidey hole in da fridge...
Now then, Whitey has Plugged the fridge full of totes Many a time
(mostly upstairs, when he wasn't pluggin' some babe) but he has Never
Ever unplugged it, at least, he's Never unplugged HIS stacks *laughs*

Any Idiot can shove totes into the fridge... now get them OUT again...
and not ALL of them, mind you, just that ONE, that one in the back
corner, on the bottom... get THAT one out *laughs*

Whitey can't stack. *sigh*

Needless ta say, I said Whiteys name a Lot today *giggles* and I'm SURE
that no matter where he is right now, he Felt the Love *Laughs*

Finally dig out that Last tote, git the Last ASI van Done, the Stress
just melts away, I'm feelin' pretty groovy, even Whitey is O.K., ya
know? *laughs*

Pop the ramp up.

Close the doors of the van.

Flip the switch...

GzshOWppffzzhTT!  A Gazillion Gigavolts of electricity Exploded in me
hand!!

Two very distinct sensations went through my body then, a very
interesting numbing/tingling sensation cascaded across the lower part of
my left arm, like gittin' whacked on the funny bone, yes?  and the
infinite brain lock of "No Fucking Way!! I Prechilled The Bloody Thing!!
This CAN'T Be Happening!!" over and over and over in me head *giggles*

At that Exact moment Larry, um... most of you probably don't know Larry,
he's this Way Cool shop dude an' right now he's rebuilding the wall they
drove through some days ago... remember that? *sigh*

ya, so, Larry sneaks a peek at me an' sez "What's Going On?"

Me, being in a Highly rational state of mind, reply "That fucking thing
tried Kill me!"

To wit he sez "Oh, is that all" and goes back ta fixin' the
wall!!*Bursts out laughing!!*  (electricity is Not Larrys department, oh
he Knows it, he just ain't certified ta play with it, we got another guy
tha' does that)

So I go check the front of the van, check the fuses and switches and
what nots, everything Looks groovy... must be Our fuse box.

So I go check That, an' ya, it's tripped, so I flick it with my unnumb
hand Not Even thinking that, Duh, it just tripped a minute ago...

flick

GzzshTT!

Not as flashy as the other fireball, but a nice spark as it trips backs
off.

Me brain, still locked in the "no fucking way" loop realizes that
Perhaps a healthy dose of adrenaline is in order now *giggles*

Larry walks by ta git a tool  "Tripped that one too, ey?"

"umm, ya" sez I, thoroughly buzzed on electrons, adrenaline, and brain
lock

"Probably something wrong with the cord" sez Larry and continues on his
way...

...the cord?...

the van was running fine...

I open it up, load it, close it up, turn it on, Zap...

what could go wrong with the cord???
 

So I go look...

Now then, this is ASI, and Northland is the carrier fer them.  AML is
our Normal carrier. Don't do too much business with Northland, they are
a small outfit, we be Big *shrugs*

But they are doing this order...

The AML guys just drop off a van and leave, I set the things up, chock
the tires, set the temperature, etc. etc. etc.

The Northland guys do alla that!  they spot the van, set it up, set the
temp, everything, and make sure it runs before they split! *dreamy*
NICE.  An' we've done a dozen or so vans with them now... an' YA, sure,
I checked 'em out when they first started doin' it, and I Still make
sure things are groovy now...

but I Never checked the cord *laughs*

When he set it up he draped it over the landing gear on the way back ta
the plug.... Standard Procedure.

When the van was Empty there was a good two inches between the van
itself and the top of the landing gear plate...

When the van was forty thousand pounds fuller, however *laughs*

Ya, you guessed it, it sat right down on top of the plate and Munched an
inch thick cord into a pancake *giggles*

business as usual

I gotta go
Torbjon
 

So yesterday the Chaos Junkie comes in first thing in the morning, on
his day off no less, ta give me a big hot steamin' mug o' mocha
*giggles* an' written all over the cup was things like "way ta go
Sparky, smoke on Sparky, Well Done" *LAUGHS!*  He's a Freek, but he's
Cool, ya know?

So I'm cruzin' along, doin' me thing... when Judy comes up ta me an' sez
tha' Mr. B requests my presence in his office *sigh*  an' seein' how he
don't Normally call me inta his office, I'm More than a little curious
as to what is goin' down...

Maybe I've just been So Totally Outstanding lately tha' they is gonna
give me a raise or a trip ta Hawaii or something...

So I git there, I sit down,,, he sez "here, I want you to listen to
this..." an' messes with his phone, tryin' ta find a voicemail fer me...

He finds it.

One of our muckymucks down in Seattle comes on an' starts rappin' about
the last Caviar van I did fer Germany...  Apparently, when they opened
the doors alla the pails spilled out an' tried ta kill 'em *sigh*

Mr. B told me he hadn't called him back yet, what did I know about it,
what did I remember about that  van, yadda yadda yadda... Basically
givin' me Every chance ta blame it on the Carrier, ta pass the buck an'
say "nope, not ME, some idiot in transit musta dropped the bloody van"
*laughs*

So, whadda I say? *giggles* ya, you know me, I told 'em the truth
*shrugs*  I fucked up *sigh*  Totally Spaced putting any dunnage in
between the doors and the product to fill out the extra space and make
sure what happened didn't happen *sigh*

For the most part, I actually try to be real careful about that 'cause I
had a door explode open in me face once... scared the hell out of me
*laughs* hurt like a sonofabitch, too *sigh*  an' the adrenaline rush
off it was even More painful...

So I said Ooops. *shrugs*

He said Ooops, an' that was that... don't know What he told our guy in
Seattle...

slow day yesterday... I was still a bit gun shy around anything with a
plug in it *giggles* was more than a little nervous ta start another
caviar/sujiko project considerin' the news I just got... did a buncha
clean up and prep work... went inta the fish house ta see what was going
on in there (not a lot) an' watched the Fish Monger (not ta be confused
with the Old fish monger who ain't here no more *grins*) wondering if
her clothes would just sorta melt away (they didn't) and diggin' the
fact that we had Two pretty groovy lookin' fish mongers this season

When it was clear tha' nothing much was goin' on, I split...

Today it rained *laughs*

I spent the day in the fridge, so it really didn't matter *shrugs*

Got an order fer some coho packed out in 100# boxes, pretty simple.
Only nobody is left that knows what to do, ya know?  *sigh*  I
REALLLLLLLLLLLLY MISS Maricel *sigh*  She Used to run the packing room.
We worked Well together, and she was GOOD *dreamy*  *ponders* this is
Maricel...(on the forklift)

http://www.geocities.com/Area51/Chamber/1561/psgf22.htm

I miss Randy too *sigh* he was a prick and an asshole an' he broke a lot
of stuff and stormed around alot, but he was Good...

(one Superior Pete interlude later)

hmmm...*sip*...oh ya,

So the current packrat lead, Jay, stresses.  It's his nature to stress
*shrugs* Worse than ME *giggles*  And that Bugs me when folks stress
worse than Me, 'cause, like, I stress Enough, thank you *laughs*

The day ticked by... I went up and down the elevator, 'round and around
the fridge, froze the Goat... One of Rauls pretty boys came and asked me
for four buckets of sperm... I didn't know how to react to that one
*laughs*  Found all kinds of weird things buried back in corners of the
fridge *sigh*

One of those days where I drove around and around in holding four and
five, and dicked around in twelve with a pallet jack all day long and
Never bumped a pole or glitched a turn or munched a load... in a groove

spooky to hit all yer turns, ya know?

of course, in the process I froze my ass off *laughs*

so I Gotta Go
Torbjon

 Subject:
        lazyRant
   Date:
        Thu, 07 Oct 1999 19:25:18 -0800
 

So I'm Pissed *shrugs*

*giggles*

no, Really,

Pissed Off *laughs*

silly, huh?

got a note from a comrade... probably a very Stoned comrade *laughs*,
but just REAMING me and my life *sigh*

a very pessimistic Rant  full of void and hopelessness...

Kinda thing that makes ya want ta eat a bullet after readin' it, ya
know?  *giggles* real Fluke of the Universe kinda stuff...*ponders*, um,
Here:

http://www.geocities.com/Area51/Chamber/1561/bardslyric4.htm

*grins*

So I'm supposed to curl up and die *shrugs*

*raises an eyebrow*

whadda YOU think??

*BURSTS OUT LAUGHING!!!!*

Like I Ever gave a rats ass what Any of You thought anyway... *shrugs*
the shit I put up with simply because  a buncha friends an' family DON'T
live HERE, an' I'm too fucking lazy or busy to send each and every one
of you your very own private and personal little note *sigh*

Here's one I'll take a lot of flak for;  Judy Kuzniar is cool.
*laughs*  oh I can just Hear the shit I'll get for That tomorrow
*giggles*

Judy has frosted a Lot of folks here, an' a lot of those folks are me
friends... she's never frosted Me though *shrugs*

Oh, she's done some pretty lame assed shit *smirk* don't we all?

But as far as Work goes, naww, Totally Cool.

Raul too.  Ya, Really.  Goin' outta his way ta try an' do things the way
I need 'em done...

mmmph...

An' since I'm still pissed, lemme just throw in a fuck you or two,
*giggles* just In General ones, nuthin' too specific, like, when yer
pissed ata lotta Little things, but ya take it all out on, say, the
Toaster.  Or the Remote, or Fluffy (poor kitty) or, if yer Really
Stooopid, someone who don't have a clue what it is yer rantin' about
*laughs*

*sip*

So, what Is going on, anyway?

hmmm

it's raining.

it's dark *shrugs*

they added yet Another gillnet opening, so There's STILL FUCKING SALMON
coming inta the factory *giggles*

Ivar is hell bent on leather to have me join the Moose... I mentioned to
him that I actually Was thinking about joining the Sons of Norway, so
now he's determined that I need ta join Both *Laughs!* *sigh*  I've been
Very Careful about affiliating myself with Any organizations over the
years, be it fraternal, political, religious...

Witch hunts are Real...

(an' jus' fer the Record, I am not now, nor have I Ever been, a member
of the Communist Party *laughs*)

weird lazy, huh? *ponders*

bah,

needed ta Rant

suffice it ta say, it be Business As Usual on the rock

I gotta go
Torbjon
 

So it's friday

and Payday *grin*

seven ninety nine, ninety nine *laughs*

Ya, just a penny shy of  800 bucks *shrugs*

not a lot, but it's a nice piece of change, ya know?

So, I give the bank some money, give the phone folks some dough, fork
over some cash for gas, pay the electron guy, the H2O guy, and the Trash
Guy all in one fell swoop, give Internic their just rewards for torbtown
takin' a step closer ta where ever the hell it's goin' *laughs*  and got
$26.62 worth of totally useless goodies like cheese and crackers and
stuff *smirks*

*peeks*

an' I got seven bucks left *Laughs*

oh, I don't do it fer the money, oh no...

and it Ain't the chicks *bursts out laughing!!*

naww,

I do it so I got something ta gripe about *laughs*

And the fridge *shrugs*  There's something intrinsically addictive about
freezin' yer brain 'till the synapses start ta crystallize, then thawin'
'em out inta soupy jello again.... gotta love that *grin* cheap high,
pass yer piss test every time *laughs*

"no no, I wasn't stoned, Really, just jello, tha's all" *smirk*

So, Ivar came at me again today... he's Determined to make Me a
moose...Moose? Moose.. *shrugs*

So I gave 'im the twenty bucks an' signed the little scrap of paper that
says I'm Not A Commie... it also had on there a bit about "I believe in
a Supreme Being"... THAT one was givin' me some thoughts...

I mean, Woah, ya know? *laughs*

Gittin' kinda personal there, don'tcha think?? *Laughs!!*  I mean, I
just spill me Guts ta the world, ya know? not the other stuff...

But I start thinkin' 'bout the words, and, well, Being, okay, cool, I
can buy that.  I know some Beings... some pretty cool ones, even
*giggles*

And I've met some chicks tha' were pretty Supreme, lemme tell ya *wink*

so ya, sure, Supreme Being, HER *shrugs* why not? *grin*

Wonder what the initiation will be like?

I gotta go
Torbjon

 Subject:
        lazyLaughs
   Date:
        Sat, 09 Oct 1999 09:17:34 -0800
 

*bursts out Laughing!!*

no way, that's ALL Ivar gits?? his name on a blackboard???  I CAN'T
believe that,,, he's gotta be in line fer a coffee cup, or a Moose hat,
or a pocket protector... SOME spiffy little item, 'cause he's Hell Bent,
ya know?  Determined...

I find it hard to believe that the Only reason I'm gonna be a Moose is
so he can see his name in chalk *giggles*  Hell, I'll put his name up in
Lights an' post it fer the whole bloody World ta see, if tha's All he
wants...

I think there is a pocket protector involved.  A stylized, state of the
arts pocket protector complete with groovy Moose logo and
encrypted/encoded super secret Moose Stuff printed on the back...  or
maybe a mug that says "I'm a Moose, so where's the Beef?" or some
such...

I dunno... we'll see...  I can't believe I'm actually seriously thinking
of joining a fraternal organization... *shudders*  like I'm not
surrounded by enough Guys already, ya know? *laughs*

So, I got the day off *dreamy*  REALLY.  an' I ain't sick or blowin' the
day off, either.  It's the Real McCoy, an honest ta gods Scheduled day
off...

So, whadda I do??

*laughs*

I got up at 0800, actually, I FLEW outta the bed at 0800 with that Oh
Shit!! I'm LATE!! feelin' *LAUGHS!!*

Whacked me toe, banged me head on the door jamb, got one leg inta me
jeans before it dawned on me;  I don't gotta go nowhere *giggles*

Too amped by then ta go back ta bed though... Especially an Empty bed
*sigh* sooo,

here I am

*sip*

This has been in my head for a month now... drivin' me bonkers... so I
bought the cd *shrugs* an' yesterday it finally showed up *big grin*

Sweeeeeeeeet Emoooooootion

Talkin' 'bout things
But nobody cares.
Wearin' other things
That nobody wares.
You called on my name
But I gotta make clear
I can't say baby
Where I'll be in a year.

Sweet talkin' mama
With a face like a Gent
Said my get up and go
Must've got up and went.
Well, I got good news
She's a real good liar
'Cause our backstage boogie
Sets yer pants on fire.

Sweeeeeet Emoooootion
SweeeeeeeeetEmoooooootion

I pulled into town
In a police car.
Your daddy said I took ya
Just a little too far.
You tell 'im other things
But your girlfriend lied
Ya can't blame Me
'Cause the rabbit done died
  (yes it did!)

Standing in the front
Just shaking your ass
I'll take ya backstage
If ya drink from my glass
I'll talk about something
You can sure understand
'Cause a month on the road
And I'll be eating from your hand

Sweeeeeeet Emooootion

--Aerosmith--

ya ya, I KNOW, the Stones with Scarves... the Bad Boy BeeGees... the
Beatle Bashers...

but that was THEN, this is like, twenty years Later... give 'em a spin
if ya haven't done so recently, ya might be surprised *wink*

things Change.

People do too *shrugs*

an' ya know what?

I don't Gotta Go anywhere *giggles*
seeya
Torbjon
 

hmmph...

*yawn*

there Are times when the coffee jus' don't drip Fast enough, ya know?
*giggles*

BUT

he he heee

But I slept 'till 1100 this morn *dreamystretch*

So, it looks like Baitboy has got a hiccup... Yo! BaitBoy! Wha's up with
the stutter??  *giggles*  Nice havin' ya back though, sure beats the way
ya used ta git yer jollies *laughs* Prank phone calls was frosting me
*sigh*

AHHHH

he he heee

*sip*
oh yes
*sip*
mmmmmmm
*sip*
oohhhh
*sip*
ahhhhhhh
*giggles*
who needs sex? *smirk*

*sip*
So, I appreciate the Positive attitude from Baitboy, but it's IF, not
WHEN *shrugs*  I mean, not only will any chick I ever hook up with have
the dubious dishonor of being the Subject of some of my ramblings, now
she gits ta be a Cow, too??? *Laughs!!*

Ain't gonna happen *sigh*  Aint' a chick in the World tha's That
confident in herself, ya know?

that would be HER, an' SHE ain't Real *sigh*

Oh, SHE's real enough fer Other guys... jus' not fer Me, ya know?

keep in mind I'm Still nursing me first cup of the day *grins*

...

She called me yesterday *laughs* Not HER, just, Her *shrugs* A Way Cool
kid I been watchin' fer a few years now... chatted fer a couple of
hours... it was Nice, actually *blush*  She's one of the few chicks I
know tha' I don't mind so much when she tells me about alla her guy
friends *laughs*  I think it's her attitude about it all tha' I dig...
she don't Whine, ya know?  Rant, sure, bitches? you betcha. but Whine?
naww, at least it don't come across tha' way...  She's someone I been
pushin' off various Heinlien philosophies to over the years, an' Ya, I
KNOW Heinlien was a bit of bozo, but Grok is Groovy, ya know?  and Co-Ed
MEANS Co-Ed, not sorta, not kinda, ONE locker room fer everybody... an'
we're People First, Genders Second, that sort of stuff *shrugs*

*sip*

ya know, if All I EVER accomplish with these ramblings of mine is ta
show just One Bozo on this list tha' it's Okay ta be Different, then I
can die a happy camper *grins*

*sip*
(third cup *grin* an' God I Love Lazy Sunday Mornings!!!! *Dreamysigh*)

So, here's the gig tha's been eating me up lately, an' it Ain't a chick
*laughs* it's Torbtown. *sigh*  I want to Actualize it, make it
'Real'... well, virtual real, cyber real... the Other real *giggles*

Right now, fer those of you tha' have actually poked around the place,
it's pretty fucking stagnant:  a couple of pages of Customs sayin' Git
Outta Here, we don't like Your Kind *smirks*  If ya make it past those
long loading monstrosities ya git ta the Streetmap an' yer in Town.

Town is focused around the Hub of the streetmap, with the various
streets running offa the Hub like spokes from a wagon wheel... Very
Simple layout.  Some of the places have basements or backrooms, there's
some twisty tunnels underneath the whole Town, a few tangent pages and
side sites, but for the most part it's a very basic, very linear layout.

but it just SITS there *sigh*  Lifeless.  Devoid of any activity... a
Ghost Town *sigh*  I mean, YOU Could be poking around in the Arena,
checking out the various contestants in the upcoming spectacle, and for
all you would know, there could be two or three Other people standing
Next to you, Also examining the contestants...

And the contestants never Do anything, the battle Never happens *sigh*

The Saloon is silent *sigh*

You can't really Die in the Tunnels

The Clerics of Kho can bestow no special powers, heal no wounds

The Street of Red Lanterns is No Where Near as risqué as the red light
districts of some of the other Towns I've been in  in my life

So, I want Torbtown to be an interactive world.

I've spent over a hundred hours now just searching the web and
researching this particular Dream only to discover that Search Engines
hate me *laughs*

I've looked into servers and softwares and programing languages enough
to know that I don't understand the vocabulary well enough to make heads
or tails outta what I'm reading *laughs* (VRML? OCP3? FTP? em oh you es
ee)

So I looked into Finished Products, the Realm, Avalon, the Palace, TTR
(Rivendale)

All of them use different systems for interactivity, some use special
client/server software (headache, don't ask) some work right on your
browser, some are free, some aren't, some are 'real time' some are
'sorta real time' some are only real as long as you keep hitting the
Chat button...

none of them are right *sigh* although certain elements from each
Are....

the current Torbtown was constructed using Netscape Composer, a free,
off the shelf, What You See Is What You Get HTML editor.  the weird bits
of Java and CGI is code that was copied from places like Geocities or
LinkExchange or what not and pasted onto the page...   it was pretty
easy.

However, Netscape and the search engines aren't telling me How to build
chat rooms or character data bases or password protection schemes and
random encounter monsters and so on and so on...

and the technology is THERE dammit, this Should be Easy *laughs*

of course, the Chicks are out There too, so whadda I know? *giggles*

anyway, Torbtown, actualized and interactive by the end of 2001, tha's
my goal *shrugs*

Any ideas about the subject would be Greatly Appreciated

*sip*
now I gotta go see what HotBot and Lycos got ta tell me Today *laughs*
seeya
Torbjon

 Subject:
        lazy
   Date:
        Mon, 11 Oct 1999 18:01:37 -0800

So, Baitboy had a birthday taday *smirks*

Happy Birthday Baitboy, where ever you are!!

Fer those of you tha' don't know our illustrious baitboys, here they be:

http://www.geocities.com/Area51/Chamber/1561/psgf7.htm

Charlie is da one on da right *poke*

Todays gig was pack out, Coho, 40,000 pounds of the stuff... inta these
really sadistic 100 pound boxes *giggles*  Me forearms are shredded inta
hamburger *sigh*

cardboard cuts *shrugs*  I've tried wearing long sleeve shirts too, but
the bastards just cut right through 'em so I gave it up *sigh*
Leather... maybe, if I could afford it...

So I spent my day launching 40k of fish inta low earth orbit, rippin' me
arms up an' compressin' me spine... lot of folks told me they would go
and get Somebody Else ta come help me *laughs* an' Gary actually Did try
ta help me *shrugs* but he's just a little too short and Mongoloid ta
wrestle with this shaped box though, so I chased 'im away...

pretty normal day at work 'cept fer the Baitboy gittin' a year older....

Still don't know about this Moose thing *giggles* but on an up note this
way cool chick tells me she wouldn't mind bein' a Cow *laughs* she even
Mooed at me!!  Something about havin' a cute chick Moo atcha tha' just
sorta puts everything inta it's proper perspective, ya know? *giggles*

Oh well,
I Gotta go
Torbjon
 

 Subject:
        lazy
   Date:
        Tue, 12 Oct 1999 19:46:49 -0800
 

Work... hmmph

Work consisted of throwing more boxes inta vans *giggles*  Admittedly
they was Much Smaller sized boxes *sighs relief* but box tossin' bozoboy
be me taday *shrugs*

So, no packers

No glazers

Kinda dark an' rainy...

I'm all alone, throwin' boxes in a van...

Ya, sure, I talk ta meself *laughs*  Who Wouldn't? *poke*

So I'm chattin' with my committee, commenting to them on just How Groovy
25 pound packaging is after a day of 100 pound sadistic sonsabitches
*giggles* an' this Trina, this, like, virtually totally worthless shop
babe, saunters inta my van all lovey dovey an' sez she needs ta borrow
me Goat fer like Just A Minute *sigh*

the Last time she touched my Goat for Just A Minute was early July, when
the shit was Just starting to hit the fan *sigh*  Seven WEEKS later I
got it back *shudders violently*  as if the summer wasn't Bad enough
already, ya know?  had ta be Goatless too *shudders again*

So ME, being a typical bozoboy said "Fuck NO!  Use the other one"
*laughs*

I don't think that was Quite the response she was expecting *smirk*

she found a forklift somewhere else, did whatever it was she needed to
do,  then left the bloody thing on the dock *sigh*

Saw Mr. B a few times, hit and run

Superior Pete flashed by with some crab every now an' then with a "Where
ya want it?" to wit he'd git a "long side" "short side" or "Right There"
from me

*ponders*

Grumpy pulled a couple vans fer me *thumbs up* glad he's back...

Thought I was havin' dinner at Flashbacks tonight so he could pick me
brain about something... *ponders*

*giggles*

ya, you git the picture

Dullsville.

Zilchorama.

*laughs* beats the Opposite, I know, still...

I Gotta Go
Torbjon

 Subject:
        lazyAntiTranquillity
   Date:
        Wed, 13 Oct 1999 21:00:39 -0800
 

So, today was the anti yesterday *laughs*

*sigh*

It's like that here, feast or famine... the cute chick digs ya then she
don't, No Work Scheduled then more fish than you can shake a stick at,
daytime (summer) forever, then  nighttime  (winter) forever, tons of
Time, yer Late... *giggles* and so on... *shrugs*

todays gig was to get Everything on Mr. Bs' list onta tonights barge...
basically just make some funky flavors of coho go away, That was okay...
some 5-7 black cod that I had ta dig out of a van for japan an' put it
in a van fer the states... that wasn't so cool *shrugs*

so, things are going pretty groovy... not as quickly as I would like,
still, it's looking doable...

3:58pm

Grumpy pulls me 40 footer and the bulk of the stress is gone...

4:00pm

there's Mr. B, in me face, gittin' a progress report, so I git in his
face an' let 'im know in no uncertain terms that I Am The Shit, these
few totes you sees before you is IT, the LAST of the stress

he nods, then sez "ya know, they want alla the crab, too..."

No Fucking Way thinks I

"Really?" sez I

Oh ya, sez he, we be making money on that one an' they Really Want it
Bad

*sigh*

So I smile an' say sure, you betcha, no problem an' alla tha' crap the
whole time thinkin' Oh Shit Oh Shit Oh Shit, how the hell am I gonna
swing THIS *giggles*

He asks me if I wanted somebody ta help, an' I actually thought about
scorin' the Gar monster some overtime as he's about the only one left
tha' can Lift 130 pound crab boxes with any rapidity, but he'd split
already.  So I said nope.

Mr. B splits

I double check the to-do list he gave me... doesn't say Squat about
crabbies being a stresser *grrrrr*

I slip totes

I watch the van fill up

I see I'm gonna be seven totes short of a full deck

I peek at the pile of crabbies... three different sized boxes: 25 pound
fancypack clusters, 30 pound whole cooks, an' 100 pound grade "A" (bulk
boxes)...

I ponder seven tote spaces...

I ponder the blocks I have to play with...

I wonder what me teachers would think if they could see the funky math I
was doin' in me head *giggles*

I add it up and twist it a bit...

ain't gonna fit.

no way.

not a prayer

*sigh*

I slip the last of the totes

and there's the Bradster!!  *laughs*  haven't seen him in ages

slipping, chatting,

4:20pm

and there's Ernesto, the Partial Guy, with a couple of shippable totes
from the glaze line!!  "Last One" sez he  "all done"

and There's Grumpy with me 40 foot van back! WAY FAST!! wasn't expecting
him fer like another ten, fifteen minutes, at best *dreamy* Grumpy
Good.  Grumpy Way Good...

He spots the van, asks "what it is?"

I tell 'em what went down, what I Need...

He Laughed an' saved me sorry ass *grin*

4:55pm

Grumpy spots the empty van I needs fer the crabbies, we touch bases an'
he bails fer the night. I set up the van.

5:00pm

the factory shuts down, folks split fer the night, I take me break an'
go ta the store an' buy some things...

5:15pm

I start loadin' the van with the bulk boxes of crabbies, miserable
bloody bastards, like 130 pound teevees, solid big blocks *sigh*

I build a wall of these suckers, I drive inta the fridge an' grab
another pallet of 'em, (had eight boxes on it) I come out, drive inta
the van, lift the pallet of boxes up so it's about waist high, tilt it
forward a little (but not Too much 'cause the whole bloody pallet will
slip right off the frozen forks an' everything will dump off which is
just a real big drag, ya know?)  hop off the Goat, walk ta the front,
grab one of those big miserable bastards, rip it offa the pallet, turn
around an' drop it (Very Carefully, I might add *giggles*) onta the
floor of the van--BOOM--  the van kinda shimmies a bit *shrugs*

I turn around ta grab another box and am Just in time ta see the whole
bloody pallet with seven hundred plus pounds of grade "A" dungeness crab
come sliding offa the Goat right at ME!!

nnnNNoooooooOOOOOOOooooooo!!!!!!! sez I, with Real Feeling *giggles*

I catch the pallet o' crab

The pallet o' crab has Ideas of it's own an' shoves Me straight back
against the wall o' crab I had already stacked

Oomph and a variety of  colorful metaphors escaped from my lips then,
followed by some very specific curses *laughs*

So there I was, pinned against a wall o' crab by even more little
crabbies *sigh*

Who sez they don't fight back?? *giggles*

The Goat is diligently holding up half the pallet...

I'm straining to hold up the other half...

The Goat lets it be known that Hey, I can hold this here forever,
Really, it's No Problem...

I let it be known to no one in particular that this is really very
Fucking Heavy and DOWN would be good, DOWN would be nice *giggles*

however, the Goat is not Trigger *sigh* or Lassie...

So, this is it... this is how I die, thinks I... I go to hell for
this... grrrrr

I Shove against the pallet...

it slides Easily back up onta the forks

and then slides just as Easily right back at me *laughs*

How to get out? *sigh*  One of those puzzles where ya gotta be smarter
than the box, ya know?  Not always easy...

the boxes DID come crashing down, but I escaped unscathed *smirk*

6:30 pm

I seal up the van an' Bail

9:00 pm

I send a silly lazy ta alla You *laughs*

I gotta go
Torbjon
 
 

 Subject:
        lazySpam
   Date:
        Fri, 15 Oct 1999 20:27:42 -0800

So Kira, one of our lazy comrades, got reamed fer 'spamming'...  I
happened ta be On the list of the letter in question... one of those
cutsie Make a Wish, Send it to Five people kinda things *shrugs*  Trish
sends 'em a lot... so does Klare *giggles* (Klare is One forward happy
woman, lemme tellya *laughs*)

I, for one, didn't see any harm in it *shrugs* I git a bunch of junk in
me box every day, so what's one more, ya know?

But someone on her list got Way Bent that somebody on the face of this
planet actually Thought about them, and vented their frustrations by
doing the Reply To All thingy (like Baitboy sometimes does, yes?)  so I
got ta be privy to the tirade *giggles*

you can imagine what My advice ta Kira was concernin' the whole thing
"Ya, Fuck the Bozo, who cares what They think anyway?" *giggles*

Dean, another lazy comrade, had this bit ta add: "Welcome to the wrath
of the internet, where holding back is discouraged, and slamming your
friends is okay" which I kinda dug... especially the holding back
part...

We're Pioneers you know, you and I... US.  The net generation.... it's
Not an AGE generation like generation X, an' it's not strictly an
American generation,  it's not even an affluent generation 'cause I know
some Pretty destitute folks tha' have access to email and internet...

We're the first true Global community *shrugs*

What we do Now will affect how things are in the Future...

Governments and corporations are getting together and trying to figure
out Rules and Regulations and Policies and what nots, but it's US, We're
the ones that Use the system, ultimately We make the rules, define the
terms, set the pace...

Personally, Subject To Change, and Responsible People Govern Themselves
are the only two 'rules' I see holding water in a system like this, but
tha's another subject *laughs*

What I wanna know is:  What Is Spam???  I mean, other than the ground up
cows lips and turkey waddles they shove in a can an' call food??

Spam and Spamming is something I've read a great deal about, way back
when and again just recently *sigh*  Various server administrators and
government agencies in a variety of countries have diligently put out
copious amounts of material on the subject, none of it's worded the same
*laughs*

None of it seems to Binding, either *shrugs*  just "spamming will not be
tolerated" *giggles*

STOP

or I'll say STOP again *laughs*

most of 'em agree tha' spam is "unwanted or unsolicited email"  *laughs*

Now THERE'S a fucked up mess!!

How do you KNOW it's unwanted??

How can the recipient solicit if they don't know you exist??

I mean, someone you haven't talked to in years looks you up on the
internet, drops you a line, they don't know if you want to hear from
them, you never asked them to drop you a line... THAT'S spamming???

or what about when I ream Gary or Alan or Judy or Tim or any of the
bozos on my list?  I doubt any of them particularly Want that... is that
spamming??

It's a brave new world out there *grin*

I, for one, am diggin' it *smirk*

here's a groovy line from a Faith No More song;

"you're all perfect, yes it's true, but without me you're only you"

ponder That the next time someone gives you shit *giggles* it helps.

I gotta go
Torbjon
 
 

 Subject:
        lazyYuck
   Date:
        Sun, 17 Oct 1999 14:32:55 -0800
 

*shudders*

Never ever ever let the dishes sit in the sink for fourteen weeks
straight and then get a wild hair and decide to actually Wash the bloody
things without First having  a  bucket handy ta puke into *sigh*

gods what a disgusting project *laughs*

I Knew there was a reason I was avoiding that particular little job
*shudders*  the quality and variety of molds living in there was
Outstanding, along with some other half plant, half animal creatures
that I think was subsisting offa the molds, I dunno...

Me, like an idiot, turns the Hot water on an' cooks 'em all *laughs*

Praise be  to the makers of incense *giggles*

Todays gig was a little fresh halibut in the morning, followed by a few
hours of pack out... a little black cod *shrugs*

way mellow... probably part of the reason I decided ta tackle the
kitchen sink problem *laughs*

oh well... not a lot going on here, really... at least nothing worth
ranting about or babbling over *laughs*

Humpy 500 was yesterday... tha's a downhill soapbox derby kinda thing
fer the kids *shrugs*  don' know who won.  Don't think anybody biffed
too badly... last year there was a couple of groovy spills *smirks*
That'll learn ya some Newtonian physics in a hurry  *laughs* Mass in
Motion, gotta love it

Tomorrow is Alaska day... which I don't think it's the Actual day we
became a state, just the three day weekend day it's observed on, still
*shrugs*

Auntie Karen swears blind tha' she an' Darrel are gittin' hitched next
month down south *giggles*

Now THAT I'd go south for *laughs*  What a wedding that would be, he hee
heee *giggles*

It's neat seeing them together *grins* floatin' on clouds, little love
birds *smirks*  it's so silly it's sweet, ya know?

*sigh*

Good things come to those who wait, right? *giggles* (just nod yer head
*pokepoke*)

I gotta go
Torbjon
 

So it's not really monday, but it sorta is because yesterday was Alaska
day, which doesn't mean much to the rest of the world, still...  What it
means here is that today was pretty much yesterday, but tomorrow will
not be Not today, tomorrow really Will be Wednesday.  *ponders* that
makes sense if you smoke enough  *shrugs*

Wednesday is southbound barge day

Today was a timewarped monday *laughs* so already I'm late *sigh*

I go in plannin' on doin' a little crab, some black cod... nothin' too
stressed out, an' I tell the van guy as such...

So of course Mr. B comes back an' hands me a list of stuff he wants Gone
*laughs*  five or six vans worth o' stuff *sigh*

I called the van guy an' tol' 'im ta fergit everything I said, which
he's pretty used ta that so it was no biggy...

Got one done taday, 30K o' crabbies went bye bye... Unloaded some black
cod (getting rather Tired of Unloading black cod from vans, ya know??)
unloaded some black cod ta make room for some sujiko...

fielded a gazillion stoopid questions from a variety of bozos... Raul,
alone, called me Five fucking times ta ask questions about totes
*giggles*  the freek... Jamillia, bored ta tears, wantin' ta talk me ear
off *sigh* I sent her off ta help Gary unstack totes upstairs in the
fridge, figgerin' that would shut her up *laughs* nope.  Gar sez she
went up there and  yammered at Him in the fridge forever an' ever
*laughs*

he dealt with it by going an' unloading a boat *shrugs*

what with That, an' the elevator snaggin' up once, we didn't git too
many totes down today *sigh*

Not lookin' forward ta tomorrow...

ahhh, *smiles*
but Now is the moment in which you Are
*grin*

I gotta go
Torbjon

 Subject:
        lazy
   Date:
        Thu, 21 Oct 1999 07:44:40 -0800

*yawn*

mmph

*sip*

So, wake up to a good day, and prepare yerself for a bad one, yes?
*giggles* well, yesterday I woke up to Sunshine!! *dreamy*

yep, tons of the stuff, right up there in the sky *swoons* an' it was
sunny pretty much all day long, too *grin*

So, ya, sure, I was prepared fer all hell ta break loose, ya know??
*shrugs*

Only it was a groovy day *laughs*

Gary was me upstairs guy, an' seein' how he's the Only one left tha'
even Remembers things like Tramper, and That day, That Other Day, and so
on, it was pretty cool...  bothers me tha' tha' hairy little freek is
about the only dude left that I trust  *ponders* well, trust with Work
stuff anyway *laughs* if any ladies are concerned, then fergit it
*laughs* glaze on sight... the freek.

So, with the freekazoids help I got 4 of the 5 vans done yesterday, got
19 totes left ta do today which should be no biggy seeing how yesterdays
barge don't get in 'till today at noon *grin* (reprive)

So there Had ta be a nasty karma point lurking about Somewhere, right???
sunny day, gary bein' cool, work goin' off without a hitch... SOMETHING
had ta glitch up Somewhere, right?? *smirk*

So, I wanna rebuild Torbtown, an' one of the things I did the other day
was to secure some space on a differant server, an Adult Server
*giggles*  figgered it'd give me the Freedom I needed ta be creative, ya
know??  none of the bullshit tha' geocities makes me put up with...

So I researched servers, found some folks that seemed rather reputable
and could do the things I needed done... So I said SURE, SIGN ME UP
*shrugs*  filled out some forms, gave 'em some money...

Yesterday I git home an' there's a note in me ebox from 'em saying Thank
You, yer account is now all set up, yer login in name is yadda yadda,
an' yer password is what you specified... *raises an eyebrow*

What exactly DID I specify, anyway??? *laughs*

So I poke around and do the way back machine and come to the conclusion
that Oh Ya, THAT'S my password *giggles*

only unlike geocities that has a handy dandy file upload thingy that
like browses into your hard drive for you, finds the files you
requested, and then uploads the bloody things into the proper directory,
these folks tell me I need some kinda FTP client thingy.... I thought
ftp did flowers?... *sigh*

so I download the program they recomend, spend some hours figgerin' it
out... only to learn that my password is wrong *Bursts out Laughing!!!*
as near as I can tell, I'M doing everything right, the site just won't
accept my password *sigh*

so I read alla the FAQs and poke all over the help pages an they tell me
tha' this place is so bloody secure that even They don't remember yer
password anywhere, so if ya fergit it yer S.O.L.  *sigh*

but I didn't forgit it, it jus' don't Work, ya know??

so I sent 'em a letter las' night *shrugs*

And I KNOW that during this whole sign up process and what not tha' I
never ever ever dealt with an' actual Human Being, it was just little
programs taking care of me...

but you all KNOW what kinda letters I write, too *giggles*

be intresting to see what kinda reply I git from 'em.,...

I gotta git ta work
seeya
Torbjon
 

So today was one of those days where, when ya asked someone "how are
ya?" or "whatcha doin?" they'd say something like "fucking wet" and
"getting drenched" *laughs*

Ya, it rained *shrugs* nice an' steady, big Fat drops an' Lots of 'em
*laughs*

So I'm goin' inta the day thinkin' I got 19 totes ta ship by noon.

No Sweat.

The totes were all staged up from the night before, ready ta go...

A Monkey could do it *laughs*

So, me bein' an idiot, went ta work in total Monkey Mode an' like Clued
Mr. B in on the fact tha' I had one more tote than would fit in a little
van, an' was gonna ship a big van light...

he wanted ta max out the container *shrugs*

two an' a half hours of meetin's an' phone calls an' even a chat with
the bozo in Seattle later an' I FINALLY git enough information to like,
actually Start loading the van *laughs*  (how much stuff ya got makes a
difference in how ya load it, ya know?)

like I said, a Monkey could do it *rolls eyes*

the Chaos Junkie is upstairs diggin' out some totes, so it took two
Monkeys, actually *laughs*

11:40am

sealed the van up
an' me boss cute me loose at noon

he hee hee

speaking of testosterone bloated gorillas, this has been going through
me head lately *laughs* um, ya, anyway, Trivia Test;  who remembers what
product this little bit endorsed??

"The average male gorilla weighs six hundred pounds and can twist a
truck tire into a figure eight.  Do not permit the gorilla to hug you,
even though he likes you.  The first trick to teach your gorilla is 'Put
Me Down'.  This is best taught when the gorilla is holding you at arms
length.  Repeat the command 'Put Me Down' slowly, over and over again.
Some gorillas learn this trick immediately and will put you down twenty
yards from where they are standing"

*giggles*

I gotta go
Torbjon

 Subject:
        lazyday
   Date:
        Sat, 23 Oct 1999 14:41:57 -0800
 

Buckets of wet stuff just Falling from the sky *sigh*

Some comrades in Montana tell me it's Snowing there *dreamy*

ya, sure, maybe it IS cold, *shrugs* it's a helluva lot Drier than
buckets of rain, ya know? *laughs*

So, todays gig was a little pack out... loaded out alla the Black Cod
they packed plus the little bits that had piled up the past few days...
'bout half a vans worth *shrugs*

I have the distinct impression I'll be Unloading the boxes with the 5-7
pounders in 'em *laughs*  I've pulled the 5-7 outta the last Three vans
I loaded just ta fill some special domestic orders *sigh*  Believe me, I
felt more than a little Stoopid throwin' those 5-7 boxes today *laughs*
Each box.. 'whaddya think?  will I see you again my friend?? or is this
your new happy home until ya git ta japan???' *giggles*

So I threw some boxes, *shrugs* in a van... throw a few, look at 'em,
tally up the number of boxes at that flavor, tally up the the number of
fish in each friggin' box, throw some more, git rid of the empty pallet,
grab a full pallet, throw some boxes, tally... round an' round an' round
*laughs*

Mindless *sigh*

It dawned on me again today that really the Hardest part of the job is
baby-sitting alcoholics and junkies and fielding incredibly stoooopid
questions *laughs*

making sure frozen fish stay frosty and flow freely is fairly simple
*smirks*

but Politics? *sigh* can't say such and such around so and so, but Have
to say such and such around some other so and so, this rule can be
broken Now but not Then, or Then but not Now, and this isn't a Rule Rule
but if you Ever break it you die Unless you happen to be Somebody or
it's Now and not Then *laughs* *rolls eyes* *sigh*

an' the Stooopid Questions, sheesh!!  Perpetually Amazed at the
Redundancy of Unthinking Utterances would be an understatement *sigh*

Bozos, Grunts, Troggs, Peons, Underlings, Clueless Greenhorns and the
like, Okay, No Sweat, They're supposed ta ask questions...

bah.

I have this horrible feeling that Time's a wastin', ya know?

I hate that *laughs*

Oh well, I gotta go
Torbjon

 Subject:
        lazyjizz
   Date:
        Mon, 25 Oct 1999 17:46:44 -0800
 

So, you know, I went inta work fully expecting the Monday gig--the
unexpected-- *laughs* I mean, that IS our normal routine, ya know?  An'
I git there, an' I'm doing my thing, throwing boxes like a
gorilla...*ponders* more like a monkey *laughs* a monkey tha's a moose
in training *rolls eyes*

So anyway, the unexpected comes lumbering along, pretty much right on
cue, an' throws a spanner in the works! *laughs*  Knocked me fer a
loop... Mr. B an' I BONDED *bursts out laughing!!*

It was the sperm that did it... buckets of sperm

containers of cum

jugs o' jizz

mountains of milt

white gold

texas tea

*laughs*

and entirely Too Much Beverly Hillbillies when I was a kid *sigh*
 
 

So I bonded with Mr. B an' we joked about jizz *shudders*  kinda creepy
, actually...

the whole thing is fishy...

I mean, Female reproductive cells; eggs, caviar, sujiko, ikura, roe,
etc. etc. etc.

Okay, No Problem...

Male reproductive cells; sperm, cum, jizz, goo and a whole slew of less
than appetizing epithets *laughs*

I'm not foreseeing much of a market fer this product... I mean, if You
were walkin' down the isle in the store an' saw a sign sayin' "SALE,
Sperm, 4.99 a gallon" would You buy one?? *laughs*

*ponders*

Very curious what you would do with one once you got it home *poke*

*giggles*

Oh, there's no doubt about it, I've lost all traces of sanity *laughs*

and it's only Monday *shrugs*

I gotta go
Torbjon

 Subject:
        lazypoints
   Date:
        Tue, 26 Oct 1999 18:14:35 -0800

so today has been a weirdassed karma day... *shrugs*

started off with the coffee pot bein' fritzy *shudders violently*

Oh, it works, made a pot when I got home, drinkin' it now... gittin'
Highly Caffinated *poke poke* so you've been Warned

but this morning it was fritzy, making tepid tan liquid that I won't
even honor with the generic title of Beverage.

the answering machine clicks on... I stare at it and wonder who and
why... it clicks off.

it clicks on again, it dawns on my decaffeinated mind that the bloody
phone is supposed to Ring First, THEN the answering machine is supposed
to click on...

I begin to ponder temporal warps and infrids...

I try ta check me email... everything But that part of the
computer/internet is working fine *laughs*

then there wasn't enough bumfodder *laughs*

Now THAT'S a test of character *giggles*

SO, off I went ta work, actually looking forward to slinging 7000 pounds
of sperm inta a van *laughs* I mean, it's every 13 year old boys fantasy
an' every porno directors deepest desire, an' here I was gittin' Paid ta
fill a van with a load of sperm, ya know? *giggles*

Then I learn tha' it's actually a popular product in a lot of countries
*shudders* oh yes, a spendy one too...

an' ya, sure, the thought "wow, a product I can produce in the privacy
of my own home... I'm Rich" went through me pointy little head *shrugs*
but I ain't goin' there *smirk*

then a funky order fer some 7-11 black cod comes in which was a groovy
bummer... groovy 'cause fer some reason it's harder than hell ta git rid
of the shit, bummer 'cause it's always Git It On Tomorrow's Barge and
inevitably there is some portion of said order buried somewhere in the
fridge *laughs*

never know how to take those... *sigh*  glad to see it gone though

that guy in seattle wants an inventory *laughs*

some offseason product just fell from the sky *smirks*

someone I'd been thinkin' 'bout all bloody day long whether I wanted to
or not dropped me a line *grins*... that's always an odd one...

and Now coffee pot and answering machine and bumfodder are all right
back where they should be.... just like Normal
 
 

THAT'S always an odd one, too *laughs*

I gotta go
Torbjon

 Subject:
        lazyQuery
   Date:
        Tue, 26 Oct 1999 19:15:51 -0800
 

As you all know, I archived the lazyletters of 1998 online.  As you also
know, the only links I ever posted for them was IN lazyletters, so,
other than word of mouth, the '98 archive has pretty much been a private
gig...

Two things come to mind;

one is that it's getting close to time for me to stash the 1999 lazies
online and start anew, but as you also may recall, my system turned to
toast last june and I lost EVERYTHING from January up untill
'longlazylazarus' at stardate 061499.2339, if anybody has any copies of
the missing material I would Greatly Appreciate copies of the copies....

two is that I'm thinking about making a Highly Edited version of the '98
lazies publicly accessable and am curious as to just How Crazy that
seems

lastly and Most Importantly;  I want original material for the new
site... I want some of Your stuff for a change *laughs*  anyway, things
to ponder...

I Really gotta go
twj

 Subject:
        lazyforcast
   Date:
        Thu, 28 Oct 1999 07:30:06 -0800
 

*yawn*

mmph

37 degrees F

Dark

Rain turning to showers

winds, 35 knots

high tide, 17.8 feet at 3:59 pm

an' this bozoboy is gonna go throw boxes of black cod into a van

yeehaw.

seeya
twj

 Subject:
        lazyforcastPart2
   Date:
        Thu, 28 Oct 1999 17:11:49 -0800

*laughs*
well, THAT worked out well... cold dark day *sigh*

*ponders*

so, let's try this....

Tonight it'll be

Dark

+28 degrees F

winds, 30 knots

Massive globules of gooey green ganja will rain from the sky

An' the groovy girl will share some time with me...

*shrugs*

worth a Try, anyway

I gotta go
twj

 Subject:
        lazyad
   Date:
        Thu, 28 Oct 1999 18:45:14 -0800
 

torbtown.com will continue to point to the original site however there
will be some testing going one here:

http://www2.superx.net/torbtown/

seeya
Torbjon
 

okay, so Maybe I Don't have a future as a forcaster *shrugs*

It WAS worth a shot though, ya know?

Had a chat with our candlemaking comrade last night, it was just the
kicker I needed to gell some thoughts...  I tagged the letter onto the
Wanted page as it made much more sense than the crap that was up there

I HATE 'writers block' *sigh*

It's ALL sitting there, right behind me peepers, staring back at me,
waiting fer me fingers to do their thing and make the majik a reality...

an' me fingers hit the keyboard and trip *laughs*

where do we start??

how do we do That??

Solstice is bothering me too... it's finished, or rather, the vision had
an ending, and I did indeed see it all... but it feels like some of the
bits come to pass *sigh*  I dunno...

It's That time of year again... mmph.  I was supposed to go burn the
forest down and dance around the blaze now... *sigh*  crabbies,
inventory, clean up--- I can't go.  Despite his assurances, Whitey never
signed my leave before He left, and no one here was even aware of my
desire to LEAVE for a while *laughs*  Mr. B is being way cool, he just
wants me to do this, this, and this, then I can have the winter more or
less off...

but tha's Then...

This is Now...

grrrr

I just want this brick in my brain to go away

and Her... *sigh* wish thoughts of Her would fade for just a little bit
*laughs*

oh well, I'm gonna go see if I can't give meself a headache studying
HTML *giggles* Maybe that'll help

seeya
Torbjon

 Subject:
        lazymorning
   Date:
        Sat, 30 Oct 1999 11:00:59 -0800

*sip*

mmmph

So, I just took a shower, an' I'm sittin' here wearing a bear claw an' a
pair of hospital scrubs, readin' me email, sippin' coffee... *dreamy*

an' it dawns on me tha' the vast majority of me email is junk from Xoom,
CDNOW, LinkExchange, Geocities, World Report... *sigh* the vast majority
of me mail is Junk *shrugs*

Junk ungenerated by human hands *shudders*  Politically correct,
sickeningly polite, correctly spelled, computer created Junk.

*sigh*

If my stuff EVER degenerates into that kind of pabulum, just Shoot me on
sight, okay??

One thing that is Not in my box is overwhelming replies to my query
*sigh*  Now then, my folks tell me they don't throw Anything away (so
now you know where I get it *laughs*) and that alla my stuff is very
probably on their machine...  however, me step mom is visiting her
family back east, an' while me dad was home alone he got a wild hair and
downloaded something, now his desktop is littered with icons an' the
processor is more cantankerous than HAL from 2001 *giggles*  SO, whereas
the information may actually Be there, I'm not so sure we'll ever be
able to Retrieve it *sigh*

What about you, Jeff?? you used to throw alla the lazies inta a
folder... still doing that??

Well, once again, I am respectfully requesting alla the lazies from
January till mid June (longlazylazarus)  if you should happen to have
copies of the stuff, I'd LOVE to have it back...

I DID get a few replies to my wanted poster... mostly just 'what do you
want' *laughs*  I went off on our candlemaking comrade, got all
caffinated and babbled at him, I took the transcript of that letter and
tacked it onto the Wanted page as it made more sense than the dribble
that was up there *shrugs*

the short of it is, what do You, joe blow public, Want??  I am
perpetually amazed by What turns people on... a month ago I had a chick
come at me an' tell me how Groovy she thought the Zoo was *giggles*  Day
before yesterday Flashback tells me he was poking around the Bards hall
an' he digs the Lyrics pages... *slaps forhead* shit... I'm supposed to
find some Beatles lyrics fer him... oops *laughs*  I've had some total
strangers email about the lyrics pages...

I've had a respectable number of people shower me with praise fer me
unfinished Solstice story and Poems pages... *blush*

In short, people pick the damnedest things to get excited over *laughs*
Pages I spent DAYS building they just gloss over like it was nothing,
and some little throw away page to fill the gap gets all the attention
*giggles*

So, I don't know what You guys want...

I know what Torb wants though...

Torb wants pictures... pictures of You in a bikini, pictures of your
backyard, or a nice sunset, pictures of Petersburg, pictures of wildlife
(be it in the wildkingdom or the bedroomkingdom), pictures you ported
into some paint program and poked and prodded into something new and
exciting... (hey, lookit that! it WAS me on the grassy knoll after all!!
*grins*)

Torb wants Sounds... wav files, midi files... Torb wants that tune you
came up with while in the shower, Torb wants a copy of yer basement
bands bluesy bits...Torb wants to hear the sound of that babbling brook
in yer back yard and that weird bird that sits in your tree and Never
shuts up *laughs*  Torb wants to hear the female voice, some breathy
hellos and girlish giggles...

Torb wants to escape, to delve into another world far far from HERE...
Torb wants to read a story that carries me away, or read a poem that
stirs my heart...

Torb wants torbtown to be more than just Me

*sigh*

Torb also wants the knowledge to do what Needs to be done *grrr* and
THAT'S not coming quickly nor easily *laughs!*

Is it Normal to pick a hobby that gives you a headache?? *grins*

Poking around the freezers the other day... *sigh* I have the distinct
impression that there is gonna be work fer me forever.  King Crab starts
on Monday, Dungeness Crab is Still going on... as is Long Lining (black
cod and halibut)... it's not That cold out, but it's getting to the
point that, what with the winds and all, it's almost nicer In the
freezer than out *sigh*

I Need Something...

grrrr

Few desires, Happy Life.

I gotta go
Torbjon

     Subject:
            Re: lazymorning
       Date:
            Sun, 31 Oct 1999 00:18:18 -0800

>
> Turbo,
> I will supply the gun.  Shoot yourself.
> C.

*laughs* what, I gotta buy my own bullet?? an' really, tha's such a whimpy way
ta go, ya know?  Spontaneous Combustion, now There's a way ta go, or gittin'
mauled by a tiger, *dreamy* or fallin' inta a vat or boiling rancid oil
*swoons*

*giggles*

Fe wants alla you tha' didn't git her rant ta know she ranted *shrugs* Bad
BaitBoy kinda thing *laughs*

Personaly, I think the bozo is bored,,, maybe we should send the Mormons after
him *smirk*

I gotta go
Torbjon

 Subject:
        lazymorning
   Date:
        Sun, 31 Oct 1999 07:21:53 -0900

*giggles*

The Mormons are comin' fer ya Baitboy *smirks*

That'll learn ya...

Me, on the other hand, am still as smart as a rock *sigh*  The One Day I
can officially sleep in and still not be late, and I spaced daylight
savings time completely *Laughs!!*

Oh well... time ta switch inta box throwin' mode...