Subject:
        lazyExodus
   Date:
        Thu, 02 Sep 1999 00:54:01 -0800

So, on 090299 at the end of our shifts, Salmon ceases to assault our
senses in such silly proportions for the rest of this century.

Tha's Right, Slamin' Salmon '99 comes to an END tomorrow...

The Exodus began Yesterday with the arrival of the D-Star... a lot of
the boat boys got back on the boat and bailed *shrugs*

Yesterday wasn't tha' bad a gig... Mr. Stitts an' I worked out our
miscommunications an' what not with no hassles what so ever... Mr.
Stitts is a god, mind you *laughs* And I too am a minor deity *shrugs*
Hard ta stay Pissed when yer Cool, ya know? *laughs*

The Morning was a Big Stress *sigh*  products comin' from every which
way, which is Normal *laughs* but diggin' stuff Outta the fridge, *sigh*
tha' ain't been the normal gig fer a while now...

The Cannery is about DONE *grin* which means they want the 3# soki we
been generating all season long *sigh*

We grade out our fish inta Three grades:  #1 is da good stuff *laughs*
they go in a white box with our label on it... #2's ain't as pretty,
they go in a plain non descript Brown Box for your privacy and
protection *giggles*

They don't make a box any more mundane than a brown one, so #3's go into
a CAN *laughs*  An' whereas this will freek an' gag a lot of me
coworkers, I LIKE canned soki *shrugs* makes a Good sandwich....

So, since July, every time the fish house gits a little soki, SOME of
'em are #3's, ya know?  *sigh*  Couple totes from the Glazeline...
Couple totes generated each time the Packers pack out... a tote here...
a tote there... about one a day on average *shrugs*  70 totes.

now then, gittin' 70 totes all at Once, okay, stashin' 'em fer easy
retrieval is No Problem, a Monkey could do it *laughs*

Gittin' an Unknown number of totes spread out over the course of the
entire season, well *laughs*

ya, sure, they got Peppered throughout the fridge *shrugs*

A couple here

A couple there...

Like a Monkey did it *Bursts out Laughing!!*

The first Chunk wasn't so bad... the first bit came around when we still
had a little Space, it Had a Home *dreamy*

Then Space folded an' it got Tight an' the rest had ta crash out where
ever they could find some frozen space ta hang in *shrugs*

Soooo, some serious spelunkin' and diggin' an' cavin' an' all out
Indiana Jones Explorin' was in order, startin' with that vacuous cavity
between our ears *smirks*

So Mr. Stitts an' I  stepped inta the Way Back Machine an' set the
controls for the vicinity of PE 210 (the 210th day of the year,,, 'bout
the end of July I think... an' since Both of us were pondering the 210
we had a half assed 420 goin' so it was groovy and productive *laughs*)

"remember those green tag ones Raul made?? I had 'em in the middle of
tha' bait row..."

"ya, they went over ta the short side when we did the boat"

"what about those first few funky ones Serj churned out?"

"I dunno 'bout those...holding 4 maybe?"

"not goin' in there..."

and so on *shrugs*

Pondering produced the profound conclusion that reasonable levels of
Doubt and Uncertainty existed to warrant gittin' out the hat an' scarf
an' climbin' up the man made monument that is the mountain of fish in
holding Five. *giggles*

So we're climbin' around on top of our normal four stack totes, an' our
new baby totes tha' make five stacks,  an' the funky holes where there
are some normal totes an' baby totes in the same stack, an' other holes
where we only stacked four baby totes 'cause they were leanin' funky,
(and Hey, Safety First, right? *laughs*)

Pokin' around on the tops of totes in holding five Used to be pretty
straight forward:  a level floor of tote tops, walk along, peek down
each column at the tags, speculate on the leaners and hidden ones
*shrugs*

Now, lantern, lasso and lunch in hand, we went exploring across the top
of the moon *laughs*

Bait.  Lotsa bait... Bait is a new gig fer me, an' it's got funky names
like L.L.B.P  an' C.B.P. an' R.D.D.B. which don't mean squat ta me so I
tagged 'em lousy little bait pinks an' crappy bait pinks an' raunchy
dirty dog bait *shrugs*

So we're goin' along...

"crappy bait.. crappy bait... crappy bait... fresh chum... um.  Hey
Houston, did you copy that?"

Rob pokes his head up from some crevasse on the other side

"huh?" sez he.

"We gotta tote o' Fresh Dark Chum in baitland"

Mr. Stitts, in his infinite wisdom, promptly bursts out laughing
*shrugs*

"really?" sez he

"yep.  From about a month ago.... what were we doing a month ago?"

"Well obviously we were stashing totes of fresh chum in the bait row"
sez he *laughs*

"oh ya" sez I, wondering if there is a market for D.D.D.B. (delicately
dressed dog bait) packed in a solid block of ice...

I shimmy down a hole, and find a troll coho that can go...

Poke along the Net Coho Rows..

an' then Wham! there it was, towering slightly above it's neighbors, a
very messed up tote of the coveted #3 Soki, a Serjio Special, a beacon
of hope... we scrambled back into the darker corner and there they were,
five of them...

Right were I left 'em. *giggles*

Like I said, a Monkey could do it *shrugs*

Armed with the Goat a Monkey dug 'em out *giggles*

After tha' things were mellowed out.  The glazers stopped, the packers
stopped, we caught up *shrugs*

Today I blew off *shrugs* 100% *grin*

She leaves tomorrow, sooooo....

Today was Mine *grin*

"Take it easy
Everybody's got Something to hide
Except for me and my Monkey."

I gotta go
Torbjon

 Subject:
        lazyDrunk
   Date:
        Thu, 02 Sep 1999 21:59:36 -0800
 

So, I wents ta the big 'lead party' thingy *laughs*  Way Funky *giggles*

Troy made me a mean martini *dreamy* an' tha's that, I'm officially Shit
Faced *shrugs*

This little ditty popped inta me head whilest sittin' in the corner
scopin' the Scene...

Big Somoan
At the door
Piffy Party
Is a bore
Food too loud
Music, White
Stoopid crowd
Drinks all night

*giggles*

the season is OVER *grin*

got all me fingers an' toes *dreamy*

It was good.

Glad it's over though.

I gotta go
*dizzy*
Torbjon

 Subject:
        lazydayafter
   Date:
        Fri, 03 Sep 1999 16:42:24 -0800
 

So, one of the Many things I noticed las' night was the shear number of
folks tha' came up ta me an' said "are you Torb?" or "so, you are Torb"
*bursts out Laughing!!*

Naked and famous *sigh*  Kinda freeky, actually... I don't dig on those
type of public gatherings as it is-- pour booze inta me then throw some
total strangers tha' know All about me my way *giggles*  weird

Then there's the Office staff... the Brass, their one good chance ta let
the hair down and fraternize with the Troggs, go crazy... but fer the
first three hours they pretty much stuck ta themselves,,, after tha' I
dunno 'cause I Split *laughs*

I spent the evening with me back ta the wall, by the exit, an' armed ta
the teeth *laughs*

Trust No One *shrugs*

I mean, whose idea is it, anyway, ta take alla these people tha' have
been workin' together All Summer Long an' stick 'em in a little room
full of free booze? *laughs*  Like it Won't git weird?

*shudders*

She who is too lame fer a silly nickname pretends to be nice....

Scary Gary shows up with the word FUCK written across the backs of his
fingers...

Pepe was the door man, and was SOBER *shudders*.....

The Sun Goddess and her new man were down right pornographic in their
kissing an' dancing *giggles*...

Bubba was divinely drunk and doin' well with the ladies *laughs*...

Antonio played flawless pool...

The Cosmic EggMan and I played less than flawless pool *giggles* I,
myself, managed to scratch five times in a row, a personal best
*preens*...

I ate, I drank, I said hey ta some folks an' let 'em All see me, then I
split *shrugs*

Today I was a more or less functioning unit....

the others... *shrugs*

I kinda LIKE these party things, lotta folks don't even show up the next
day, and those who do are Way Easy ta git along with *Laughs!*

I gotta go
Torbjon

 Subject:
        lazygossip
   Date:
        Sat, 04 Sep 1999 20:43:43 -0800
 

So it's fer real;  The Sun Goddess an' the Dirty Ol' Man are a Hot Item
*giggles*  Tha's right, Mizz Martin an' Darrel are goofy giddy little
school kids an' don't give a rats ass what the world thinks, they're
HAPPY *grins*

So, not knowin' too much about the dude, I chatted with him a bit
today... after all, Who is this guy tha's got me Auntie Karen all ga-ga?
*giggles*  He seems okay, an' she's got him  pretty much under control
*smirk*

I think it's Groovy *grin*

onward....

The Exodus continues... Roland bailed out today, Roland the deadly
glazeline driver *sigh*

E... rember E? from Philly? E bails tomorrow... he's gonna go do his
Time now *shrugs*

Serjio split a few days back... Got a job for the Corporate Office down
in Seattle *laughs* he's our spy on the Inside now *wink*

everybody soooooo HAPPY ta split *Sigh*

The Cosmic Egg Man split today... sent me a note that I thought summed
it up pretty good:

"Done and gone done and gone
another season draws to a sickly close and I am left feeling as if
nothing
was real and I've actually only been here for the day and a half that I
haven't been working.  Quite a trip really.
Did I mention I'll be having sex in 4 days now?
I'll talk to you later Torb.
Tell any random boxes of caviar you see that I said fuck off"

*Laughs!!*

The Time thing... it's OVER.  it Just started 'yesterday', but it's Over
Now *snaps fingers* jus' like That  *shrugs*

Only it Ain't over in My little world *sigh* not fer a ways yet...

Maybe in November *Laughs!!*

I gotta go
Torbjon

 Subject:
        lazyFrozenPower
   Date:
        Sun, 05 Sep 1999 22:01:36 -0800
 

*giggles*
So, the lazy gig is gittin' around, an' ya, it Still freeks me, an'
admittedly I DO bite me tongue a bit more than I USED to,,,Still, I
haven't bitten the bloody thing OFF yet *smirks*...

What gits me though is the fucking POWER *sigh*  never wanted that at
ALL...

This past month different bozos came up ta me all chummy buddy buddy...
bozos I Never Met before... they knew 'all' about me though *Laughs!!*
(ya, right)

some of 'em,,, *shrugs* okay, I let 'em live.  A few I blew off...had ta
ream a few...

*smirk*

but a few I did the Billy the Kid thing on;  "I'll make you Famous" an'
then watched 'em turn White an' squirm an' fret an' sweat *giggles*

ya, it's OKAY fer THIS bozoboy ta spill his guts...

but when it comes to You *smirk* Tha's Different...

An' there's the rub. A Lot of otherwise Cool Folks won't have nuthin' ta
do with me 'cause I happen ta be an aspiring young writer... um, I mean
apathetic old goat *giggles*... an' I write about the shit that Happens
to Me...

Which means Them *shrugs* an You...

So let's go somewhere I haven't been to in a long long time.

Let's go to Work *laughs*

So my little alarm clock goes off with You Are My Sunshine, which ain't
Quite as annoying as The Yellow Rose Of Texas, but pretty fucking close.

It is, of course, clubbed rather fiercely upon the only clickable button
it has; snooze.

When I hear Corky Roberts tellin' me what a mess the world is, I drag my
sorry ass outta bed... which happens ta be on the floor... and start
COFFEE. *giggles*

Dressing and bathroom go on while coffee gurgles and Corky babbles.

Local news tells me the weather (rain) and the fish report (fish)

I caffinate.

I don all my accouterments; utility belt equipped with pocket watch and
key chain/garret.  hanky in back pocket.  check book in other back
pocket.  wallet.  fire.  ball point pens. cigarettes. cloak, hat, and
out the door.

The walk to work is groovy.  Very tranquil, and Down Hill *giggles*

Clear the head of Corkys babble while the caffeine sinks in, ponder the
upcoming battle

*sigh*

The Battle.

The War has changed much for me over the years...  When I began I was in
the trenches, knee deep in gore, so to say *laughs*  with dead bodies
all around me, bad food, long hours, a wet tent for Home... and if you
or somebody around you fucked up you Could die a pretty horrible
death...

But it was in the trenches, ya know?  it was pretty straight forward.
you plugged yourself into the slime line or you trayed up the fish or
you pulled trays like an ox... a very Physical Tangible War.

Now I'm a Bozo.  The war is in me head... it's Strategic.  And on a Much
Larger Scale *sigh*   A LOT of the finished product comes ta me... an' I
Know a Lot of the people tha' Made it happen... busted their ass to make
it happen, then they come ta Me with it, with the "okay, NOW what do I
do?" look *laughs*

An' a lot of 'em ya just wanna say "shove it up yer ass, bub" but ya
Can't... or I can't, anyway...*sigh*

Accommodate...

So as I walk ta work I wonder how in hell I'm gonna make everybody happy
*shrugs*  In the begining it's Easy, lotsa room *grin*

After a while it becomes a Timing gig... Space and Time, gotta love it
*laughs*

Now it's so full tha' even a couple blasts full of fish are a problem
*giggles*

Todays gig was the continuation of a pack out party; A nifty little
order for a van load of  #2 Net Coho from totes into fifty pound boxes.

So I git ta work, bundle up in me little bunny suit, grab the stereo,
climb aboard the Goat, an' off I go, inta the fridge ta dig out totes.

Most of the Coho is in holding five, which is Full just like the rest of
the fridge, an' I'm diggin' out totes, makeing a tunnel, sorting out the
sizes, searching for a rather ellusive 6-9

the tape runs out... 30 minutes.... I take me mits off and marvel at how
the wind Bites when there is only one tunnel for it to blow down.  I
flip the tape

The tunnel gits a bit deeper.

I score another 6-9.

Memory calls up to tell me that there is another one, over there by the
door, back aways, and that will be enough for the order...

Memory then calls up again to remind me that I would be an Idiot to
Believe ANYTHING it says. *laughs*

Command steps in and decides to send down a landing party.  Being the
only bozo on the Goat at the time, I was elected to go.

I hop off the goat an' poke around a bit, an' yep, Memory got lucky,
there it was *grin*

Back on the Goat, and the tape runs out.... 30 minutes.... I take off me
mitt an' have a de ja vu *laughs*

Memory says tha's an Hour.  Medical sez git the hell out now. Command
sez it'll only take a few more minutes ta tidy this up enough to Leave
it for a while, Helm, of course, Obeys Command...

and the fans blast away...

Ten minutes later an' the Goat an' I emerge from five. The Goat
Instantly frosts up with a nice 4% glaze *giggles* I get whacked in the
face with a frozen plastic curtain flap that whipped around the mast and
cage just right.  I park the Goat, disembark...Medical orders double
espresso NOW!

And there's Jay in my face "We Need Tape"

'Tape' thinks I

"Tape." sez Jay, "Tape for the machine"

'huh?' thinks I

"you Know, the Big rolls of tape for the taping machine" sez Jay like
he's talking to someone who doesn't speak English *giggles*

'well ya, I Know what the fuck your saying' thinks I wonder what the
hell His problem is

"Tape?" sez I, the frozen synapses finally fireing some seven seconds
late *laughs*

"YES, Where can I get some more Tape??" sez Jay, obviously Way Stressed
to have be dealing with a lobotomized monkey.

I'm thinking of where some Should be, where some Could be, where some
Might be...

Communications broke silience and said "I'll Get It"  and considering
the seven second synaptic delay, that was probably for the best.

Off I go to get tape...

the Numbing fades.

They get their tape, some other things come up, throw some boxes, move
some stuff...

There's one of the guys from the packing room in my face, stressed "we
need pens"

pens.  majik markers.  to write the number of fish in the box On the
box...

Tape... Pens... *sigh*

I git 'em some pens.

It's elevenish now... I'm thinking I can finally take a Break...

I go up ta the box loft where my locker is ta drop off me mitts an' the
guy up there tha's makin' the boxes sez "hey, do you know where to get
more brown boxes?  I'm about out and I don't see any more back there"

Huh? thinks I

Nawww, he's just an idiot, thinks I

There's Gotta be more back there, thinks I

I go look.

"huh." sez I

"Yer right, there ain't any more" sez I

"I'll go get some" sez I *laughs*

I go to the wharehouse.

I walk along the second floor, lookin' for plain brown boxes...

Row of printed boxes, row of printed, row of printed, row of printed
*laughs* Karen wasn't kiddin', there's a shit load of boxes up there...
row of printed, row of printed, totes, totes, cannery dividers, egg
shit...

huh, no plain ones.

*sigh*

Third floor... row of printed, row of printed, row of printed, 100#
boxes, 200#boxes, egg shit, pallets, metal parts... waitaminit.... row
of printed row of printed row of printed, yadda yadda yadda...

no way.

Second floor, printed, printed printed, printed...

No Fucking Way

I start climbing around... and there on the third floor, at the very
back of a row of printed boxes, was the absolute Last two pallets of
plain boxes left in the factory *laughs*

And it wasn't even Lunch Yet *giggles*

I gotta go
Torbjon

 Subject:
        lazyBLAST!
   Date:
        Mon, 06 Sep 1999 23:55:33 -0800
 

wow...

So, tomorrow we start loading this big ol' boat with alla the salmon I
been savin' all summer long *smirk*

gonna be a good gig, we been setting up fer it the past couple of days..
we start early tomorrow, so I came home plannin on crashin' out even
earlier than I normally do *laughs*

I check me mail...

an' there's a letter from an old comrade... someone I had actually been
Wanting to git in touch with but had lost track of, ya know?

*dreamy*

 a real Blast from the Past

so I sent a letter back...

we were online at the same time, we hooked up, started chatting
*laughs*  like a couple o' little school girls *giggles* yadda yadda
yadda *blush*

an' now it's midnight *bursts out laughing!!* *snap* just like that....

but it was fun, and well worth the Time

now I have to go pretend to sleep

I gotta go
Torbjon
 

So, fer like, 19 months now I been writin' these things, mostly jus'
babble fests, but I've also REAMED a lot of You, (and Them) off and on
over the months... tagged alot of the bozos I work with with less than
flattering nicknames... in short, by ranting, raving, babbling, crying,
whining, and amusing you, I've amassed a goodly share of 'bad karma
points'... nastiness due to me for nastiness dealt out

And I've had a rather Outstanding summer *giggles*

An' a lot of the folks I poked fun at or made famous, and a lot of the
folks tha' have been workin' Real Hard or what not, maybe weren't too
cool with THAT, too...

more bad vibes due me... *sigh*

They DO come back *snickers*

oh yes... in Many little ways...

Ways people aren't really aware of...

the Cute Chick sent me an enote the other day... Since the War started
and the weirdness that followed, then her return to Reality World,
well,,, it's pretty much the first time she's had Time to communicate
with me much *sigh*

Considering how weird I got I'm surprised she takes the time at all
*laughs* *sigh*

I asked a lot of those questions you should never really ask, like
"Why?" and "How Come?" and other such silliness...

this was part of her response...

"well a
lot
of it was that I still enjoyed your company and all but the internet and

your lazyletters started effecting how people treated me at work.
Starting
off, I ignored it and figured it was one of those things that just come
and
go...but more things just keep coming up.  lisa at the coffee house was
allways telling what I had done the day before. The ladies in the office

would know things that I never told them. I guess I felt people were
reading
about me and then deciding if they wanted to met me or not. Then they
would
introduce themselves and say oh hey aren't you a friend of torbs.(Andy
and
Athena ) I felt invaded, but this is not your fault because I never told

you..."
 

And she's Right, it's Nobodies 'fault'... there is no 'fault' *laughs* I
mean, Hell, I WROTE about it fer chrissakes, You read it, They gossiped
about it, and on and on... *sigh*

I got Tagged *laughs*

By me. *shrugs*

because None of us here, not even Me, can keep On the Clock and Off the
Clock seperate...

So what happend on the clock today, anyway? *winces*

well, up untill about 1330 I drank a lot of really good coffee, smoked a
lot of Camels, listened to some Outstanding music, while hanging out on
the van dock all alone, unloading some totes out of the elevator every
so often, pullin' a few outta the fridge from time ta time, all at
Tramper pay (an extra four bucks an hour) *giggles*

Deffinately a NICE bennifit ta me job *wink*

At 1330 it was discovered by the boatbastards that the Rest of the
shipment needed ta be slipped...

hmmm...

what we HAD been doing up 'till then was taking a tote, that is sitting
on a pallet, stacking that on top of another tote which is sitting on a
pallet, and sending Both totes and Both pallets over onta the boat...

at 1330 they wanted Two totes on One pallet..... NOW.

*BURSTS OUT LAUGHING!!!*

ya, no warning at all.

Needless to say, we were Highly organized and Extremely prepared for
this new twist in the game plan *smirks*

I'm spinnin' me devil sticks, chillin' waitin' fer the elevator when
Gary comes stomping back...

"We Need To Slip Totes" sez the hairy little freek.

"huh?" sez I, not dropping my sticks

I sneak a peek... the elevator comes down... Rob and Gary are hijacking
the PullCat...

'Huh...' thinks I as I unload the elevator

I send the vator back up

Whitey comes back, Highly Caffinated. *giggles*

"lemme guesse" sez I "slip totes?"

17 paragraphs of insane gibberish from Whitey which condenses down to
"ya, slip totes. Rudy will replace you back here.  Show him what to do"
*laughs*

Rudy is THE deffinition of Low Rider *grin*

Rudy is Mellow.

Rudy is Cool.

Rudy is Not highly caffinated *grin*

"it's a good gig Rudy, Cake.  See those totes?  Give those to Ernesto,
and unload the elevator" sez I

"Tha's It?" sez he, like there's a catch or something *giggles*

"tha's it, man.  CAKE." sez I

"Sheeeit" sez Rudy "I don' know if'n I can do alla tha' man, sounds like
I might fall asleep or sumptin" *Laughs*

I head inta the fish house...

Chaos.

Pandimonium...

Cluster Fuck Extrodinare

*sigh*

so I go an' try ta slip, an' Everybody is waiting for ME

An' a crowd gathers... *laughs*

'hey!  over here!! look at the freek on the funky forklift!! git the
camera!!' *Bursts out laughing!!*

it's One thing ta spill yer guts in the privacy of yer own home to a
bunch of bozos in the privacy of Their own homes...

It's quite another ta try an' do yer job with a bunch of clueless bozos
watchin' ya and then deciding They're gonna HELP you *Laughs!!*

So, they're all drivin' me bonkers... an' the PullCat starts actin'
up... decides it don't like goin' backwards no more...

Goin' backwards is every bit as important as goin' forwards...

An' it's gittin' a little tweekier an tweekier...

An' I'm gittin' more and more Pissed...

An' the crowd is gittin' bigger an' bigger as more folks come over ta
watch the frothing freek on the funky forklift say the "F" word freely
and fluently

Finally I said Enough an' plowed forward around the tote an' through
anybody on a forklift that could go backwards to where I finally find a
place where I could turn around an' git the beast aimed towards the
shop...

an' I drove it Into the shop, knowin' full well it Won't go backwards
an' ya can't drive it Forwards No More *smirk*

Then I Very Calmly clued Dan in on what was goin' on, how I wasn't
diggin' it too much, an' that if it took, oh, say SEVEN WEEKS ta fix the
bloody thing (the time the Goat was down) that that wouldn't bother me
in the slightest *laughs*

the bastard had it fixed in half an hour *sigh*
I went back ta monkey house and tried ta see the humor in it
*laughs*

Karma, gotta love it.

I gotta go
Torbjon

 Subject:
        lazystuff
   Date:
        Wed, 08 Sep 1999 20:36:35 -0800
 

Lot of replies about being TAGGED.  From Her, from You, from Them
*laughs*

The List is a Very Vocal group *snickers*

Lot of folks concurred tha' it'd be Hard ta have a relationship with me
because of fear of what I MIGHT write *sigh*

Lot of folks have a Lot to be ashamed of, I guess *shrugs*

I Like being Me, so it don't bother me too much *laughs*

If the only way I'm gonna score on the groovy chick is ta hide in the
closet with her then fergit it, tha' Ain't Groovy... That's Sick.

Thank you all for your thoughtful comments and your Time and Energy,
*grin* too cool.

And for those of you who may think I'm blowing you off by not writing
directly to you, like say, My Folks and a few other very close comrades,
I'm not.  I'm just fluctuating between Busy and Lazy with no in-between
for Productive *giggles*

onward.

Mr. Stitts will be leaving Very Very Soon...

this is his Last Timecard *giggles*

So we chatted some today, and he agreed ta cover fer me tomorrow so I
can have an honest ta god Day Off... not a call in day, not a blow off
day.  a real Sleep Till Noon day *DREAMY*

After that, I'm the Man; he may stay till sunday, he may blow off the
rest of the week, he may come in late every day an' leave early every
night *giggles* after tomorrow Mr. Stitts may do whatever he dam well
pleases because he single handedly saved my sanity this summer simply by
Being there.

Scary Gary coined an honest ta god Nickname fer the Eggbitch, he was
drinkin a can of soda pop festooned with Star Wars Stuff, Eggbitch drove
by on a forklift, Gary looked at his pop can, looked at the Eggbitch,
said 'Jabba the Slut'

Soda pop came out noses then *giggles* like a buncha school kids
*smirks*

*shrugs* we'll see if it sticks, though I doubt it...

Speaking of Eggs...

I'm doing a sujiko van this afternoon... there are two buyers, both of
'em are mixed together in the fridge in the generic Sujiko Stash Space,
I'm doing a van for one of the buyers, settin' the pallets of the other
buyer off to the side...  Jabba is bringing me new pallets of sujiko
that needs ta go inta the fridge...

the dock gits cluttered pretty dam fast *giggles*

Out strolls Rudy... remember Rudy?  THE definition of Low Rider?? Ya,
That Rudy. Way Mellow *giggels*  He's our Freezer Dude now.

He comes out, leans against my forklift...

"So how you doin?" sez he

"not too shabby" sez I

He looks over at the totally plugged van dock

"what is tha' shit?  looks like you got a lot of it" sez he

"Sujiko" sez I

"That them eggs?" sez he "they any good ta eat?"

"Well the Japanese like it, too much salt for me" sez I

"wow, you sure got a lot there, bet it'd take you a long time to put
alla that shit away, huh?" sez he

"huh?" sez I, "naww, not to bad really, it's a quick fix"

"oh tha's good" sez he "Cause we ran outta trays an' started Glazin'
again, got about nine totes over there tha' need ta be weighed, I was
gonna start bringin' 'em around, but you look kinda busy..."

'you gotta be kiddin' thinks I

"Huh?" sez I, all professional like

"Ya, we been bustin trays for a while now" sez he

'No Fucking Way!' thinks I

"Really?" sez I, "um, well, start bringin' 'em over, I'll clear out a
space"

"naww, I'm jus' foolin' ya man, we ain't breakin' no trays" laughs Rudy
"man, you don't Stress, do you?"

*Bursts out Laughing!!!*

Obviously, he don't know me too well *wink*

I gotta go
Torbjon

 Subject:
        lazyQUIT!
   Date:
        Thu, 09 Sep 1999 23:59:31 -0800

*BURSTS OUT LAUGHING!!!*

*composes self*

So, today was me day off...

Planned...

Scheduled...

Choreographed...

Approved...

Needless ta say, I stayed up ALL night long partying and playing and
whatnot *shrugs*

Crashed out around four in the morning...

At elevenish this morning the phone rings *laughs*

Seeing how I'm still in bed and not alone, I let the bloody machine
answer it, gittin' more than a little disturbed by the fact that Every
Single Time I manage ta git some quality time with a lady, the phone
rings *sigh*

"goodmorning Torb" sez the machine, "this is Rob.  I've got some Bad
News..."

I am Instantly AWAKE *sigh*

"I have to quit" sez robs voice.

My heart skipped a beat.

HAVE to quit...

HAVE TO

I'm thinking he ran over a packer or just went ballistic on some office
bozo or Something so Horribly Serious it ain't even funny...

"I know I promised you the day off..." sez Robs voice... "but I Got to
Go"

Instant Relief *giggles*  GOT TO GO I can dig, been there... almost
there now *laughs*  the 'if I don't git the fuck outta here NOW  I will
most certainly Loose It' feeling

"thought I'd give you a couple hours warning" sez Robs voice, "I'll be
over at lunch time to get your sorry ass out of bed"

*giggles* (I trained him well, huh? *smirk*)

So I drug me sorry ass outta bed, clued in me house guest as to what was
going down, got dressed an' was There within 15 minutes *sigh*

Clocked in, checked out the scene... mellow, as predicted, Robs GOT TO
GO had nuthin' ta do with fish stress... it was just... Time *shrugs*
He told me on release day that he could Go at any moment, so I wasn't at
all miffed at him...

but the TIMING was hilarious. *giggles*

So we chatted a bit, he clued me in on his little world, I clued him in
on mine, we both Laughed about it, buttoned up shop, had lunch
together... *sigh* our last lunch of the century... he went off ta pack
and what not... I went back ta the factory, ended up staying there until
2300 *Laughs!!*

My house guest was just somebody that came over for a drink and ended up
crashin' out here, not a heart throb, no spiritual bond, but she Was
packin' the right kinda chromosomes and we Were crashed out under the
Same blanket *blush*

Three times this season... can you believe it??? *dreamy* Three
different ladies... and Ya, I Know 'all' I did with each of 'em was
share a blanket, still, you all Know how bloody lonely I've been these
past Years... sharing a blanket may not make babies but it's STILL
pretty fucking NICE, ya know? *giggles*

and yet with each person I tried to spend some Time with, that fucking
fish factory found a way to fidget with the Fates *laughs* Anytime it
looked like I Might get Close, freeky fish worship wormed its way into
my world  *sigh*

In a way tha's a good thing, 'cause none of them were HER, ya know?
*shrugs*

Still...

I GOTTA GO
Torbjon

 Subject:
        lazydomain
   Date:
        Mon, 13 Sep 1999 22:15:22 -0800

I've been meaning to do this fer a while...

it's been gittin' spendier ta do...

an' recently someone was Searchin' the net fer me *blush*

An' whereas I AM out there in a sorta big way...

this'll make it even Easier fer the world ta yell back at me. *laughs*

So,

With More T and A than disney.com...

more fishy fotos of the fridge an' other bits o' freakiness than
icicleseafoods.com....

better bodacious babes than bellcold.com (*giggles* well,,, go go girls,
at least..)

Finally

24+ megs of wasted space is no longer some godawful gazillion character
long address.

torbtown.com has become a reality *laughs*

ask for it by name *smirks*

http://torbtown.com/

I gotta go
Torbjon
 

 Subject:
        lazyday
   Date:
        Tue, 14 Sep 1999 19:48:45 -0800

So I voted today.  No, really,,, almost spaced it completely even With
the note on me fridge remindin' me Not ta fergit, but Baitboy an' Lord
Mach reminded me at break time sooo

I voted NO.  NO NO NO NO NO!! he hee heeee, tha's me, pessimist till the
end, change is Bad, mr. negative *shrugs*

Voting was about the only gig that went well...

I spent a goodly amount of my 'free' time today wondering just what the
hell it was I was doing on August 10th  *sigh*

In case none of you have actually LOOKED at a calendar lately, August
10th was a While Ago *laughs*

*ponders* sooo, what were YOU doing on August 10th, hmmmm??  come come,
I don't have All Day, speak up!  I not only Want specifics, I Require
them, what Exactly went down that day?...

*sigh*

I loaded a van of caviar that day *sigh*  I KNOW I did this because they
just got it in Japan the other day and Unloaded it Now *laughs*

Apparently the discrepancy report on that van was Astronomical *sighs*

this freeked me, so I had Whitey git me the report an' a copy of me
tally sheet, an' I stared at the bloody things until me forehead began
ta bleed...

there was 818 pounds of really shitty stuff in there... um, caviar is
graded #1's, #A's, #B's an' so on, these were M's *laughs*

Those M's were the ONLY part of the tally I got right *Bursts out
Laughing!!!*  every other fucking number was Wrong in one way or
another, with a net fuck up of over 500 pounds of Free Product for them
*sigh*

okay, A box or two I can handle, *shrugs* but five hundred bonus
pounds??

No Way! not even my Best Friends git tha' kinda deal *shudders* tha's MY
profit goin' down the drain, ya know?

So I poured over the paperwork made available ta me, I punched da
buttons on the calculator a gazillion times, I gazed at me tally sheet,
lookin' at me smudges and scribbles, tryin' ta slip inta the WayBack
machine, drift back inta the van on that day...

I looked back through the 'Brown Book' (a log book I bought with me own
money and keep notes in about vans and stuff fer just such a fucked up
emergency as this)

tha' was a Stress day... git a buncha stuff on the barge before it
splits...  tha's when the fridge was gittin' tight, and Gary was fucking
up left and right, an' there was a bunch of Weird Stuff that was eating
up space,,, like M's and JJ's and 4kg caviar packed in 5kg sujiko pails,
an' other bits of oddness...

that was a day that I made things Go Away *shrugs*

and Went they did *laughs*

so, lookin' over alla the info I have, two things come blaring out at
me:

One, I obviously spaced half a pallet of master cartons.

An' Two, the Japanese know their product codes a Hell of a lot better
than I  do *giggles*

or rather Did, cause back then it was All rock an' roll ta me, ya know?
Hell, I only learned just This week tha' the J's an' JJ's and what not
tha' we produced at the Beginning of the season is just a made up code,
could just as easily have been an O or W or anything *sigh*

Net Coho 6-9 green tag I understand

20E3 "B" ??
10D1 ?????

LLBP???

*BURSTS OUT LAUGHING!!!*

git real.

at least there wasn't any sujiko or fresh fish mixed in with it *laughs*
or raw Russian roe...remember the Red Tag Raw Russian Roe that used to
reside at the rear of the coho row but now dwells in twelve?  ya THAT
raw russian roe, from Last Summer... still got 18 totes of that kickin'
around *sigh*

one of the other gigs goin' on today was runnin' some bait upstairs,
managed ta dig out that tote of fresh fish we stashed in the freezer
over a month ago now *laughs*  didn't pop the tote open yet but I just
Know the flake ice they were packed in is now a solid block of ice
*giggles*

I'm thinking just call it a 7000% glaze an' send it Bellingham *shrugs*
give 'em something Else ta bitch about fer a while *laughs* (normal
glaze is like 5%)

BaitBoy Jr. thinks we can maybe give it away as bait...

Whitey is looking into it and will get back to me on that one *Smirks*

never said is was a Flawless season

just a Good One *wink*

I gotta go
Torbjon

 Subject:
        lazyFanMail
   Date:
        Tue, 14 Sep 1999 21:20:27 -0800
 

"you mentioned the other day about how as your list grows you're
watching
what you say more.....
please don't.....
self censorship would just lead to a bland, semi-official newsletter
instead
of the institution that you have made your musings into.
And i appreciate your honesty on screen, though i dread the day that i
piss
you off and read about it later"

"[so and so] tells me that you put
out
some good plant GOSSIP. if you got the time i would sure like to get on
that
list."

"Yer such a dork, Torb. *laughs*"

"...congrats on Torbtown!!! hooray,
just don't think for a second that this means you need to star censoring

yourself or biting your tongue just cuz your circulations has once more
spread. -Can't get enough of a good thing and all that..."

*sigh*

they're right...
 

I am a dork *bursts out laughing*

so Dam the torpedoes *smirk*

he hee heee

seeya
Torbjon
 

So it was One of Those Days.  One of those days where yer Past comes
back ta haunt ya, the shit hits the fan, it's rainin' Bozos all over the
place, the Orders keep comin' in an they ain't all pretty, an' ya needed
ta be done Yesterday *laughs*

We've All had those, yes?

Don't matter where ya work, be it a fish factory or flingin' fries an'
servin' slurpees somewhere, Those Days are all the same...

The day started off groovy enough... they always Do when ya happen ta be
the type of person tha' don't wake up till noon no matter what, an' that
happens ta be Me *giggles*

The packers were packin' some stuff... freezer rats where makin' some
totes of halibut... mellow.  Had two Orders I HAD ta git on todays barge
or Die trying.

Okay.

The one I had already had the hard part taken care of already, just
needed ta top off the van with something shippable (not easy ta do when
my instructions are ta Hold just about everything *laughs*)

But I'd been savin' some stuff up fer just this sort of thing, and they
were making some things I could use, so it was cool.  Just a matter of
Timing.

The other order required some digging in the fridge ta find all the
goodies they wanted, and again some shippable stuff ta top off the
van... THAT one I was gonna worry about later, closer to noon *laughs*

The other gig going on is a black cod van *shrugs* this is a normal
thing, the black cod gits packed inta fifty pound boxes and then stashed
in a van... 800 boxes per van.  Black cod has been kinda slow up till
now, been takin' a while ta fill this van we're workin' on... 'bout a
week or so... Mr. Stitts was still here when we started it *shrugs*

So, Superior Pete, Doughboy an' me is loadin' boxes inta the van.  I
tally a row... throw some more boxes... tally a row... something' ain't
right...  we should be standing more over there... Space is... out of
place.

I look at the tally... starting row nine.

I look at our little cheat sheet.

Starting row nine.

I look at the van...

No Way.

I hop up on some boxes an' count...

No Way!

I crawl up an' squeeze meself inta the nine inches of space between the
top of the boxes and the top of the van and pull myself along to the
very first row, counting....

Mother Fucker!!  echoes quite nicely from that tight forty foot reverb
chamber

I crawled back, cursing each row... eight mother fuckers and one mother
fucking piece of shit later I reached the end...

nine rows, starting row ten *sigh*

SOMEBODY snuck fifty five boxes in there and DIDN'T write it down... and
I had a sinking feeling that that somebody was far south of here,
sucking on sudsy brews and soakin' up the sunshine while I was stuck
HERE pondering the dilemma of 55 mystery boxes *Laughs*

I glanced at the tally again, seein' if there was Any Way I had missed a
page...

Judy walks inta me van holding a stack of computer papers.

*sigh*

"Lemme guess" sez I, "Caviar"

"Nope" sez she, lighting a cigarette, "Mitsubishi sujiko"

I drop my clipboard

I light a cigarette and shudder...

Mitsubishi...

the little goofballs with the sumarian symbol fer satan stamped on there
friggin product...

the Transload Express stress fest...

"What About Mitsubishi?" sez I

"Is it Possible," sez she "that Perhaps two pallets of Icicle sujiko got
mixed in there Somehow?" *giggles* (Very politically correct)

considering' how I JUST discovered a mystery row in me van, spaced 20
boxes of caviar in another van, and just yesterday dug out a tote of
fresh fish tha' I stashed in the fridge a Month ago, I answered her in
the only way I could:

"No Fucking Way" sez I

"it's probably just a computer glitch" sez she

We chat some more.

the packers are still packing an' stuff is pilin' up

Whitey shows up.

We discuss the mystery row.  Seein' how there's empty vans and Time, we
go for the Transload Express option.

It's Lunch.

I stay and dig out the totes fer the other order.  I stage up some totes
fer the packers ta pack...

I start workin' on me order...

I turn around an' the packers ain't packin' what I gave 'em... they're
doin' Other Stuff. *laughs*

an' it keeps goin' like that, on and on... wastes of time. *sigh*

Finally got the thing Transloaded, called Andy, me driver, at home.  He
came and picked up me van...

*sigh*

Andy is about 20 years older than me, give or take... give probably, I
dunno... he's 'old'.

He's a Veteran of Foreign Wars an' risked his life so I could say what
ever I want, among other things,  an' I got a Lot of Respect fer that,
ya know?

An' he fucked up his hips, serving, working, being old, had some surgery
on 'em and what not... so he gimps pretty good, an' it's a two an' a
half foot leap down inta the first landing of the pit, an' a three foot
leap down inta the second landing of the pit, an' he don't do that no
more, so he walks around *shrugs*

An' it's a 'long' walk...

An' seein' him gimp... *sigh*

didn't matter how fucked up me day was.  didn't matter that I was
thinkin' HA, MY stress is over!...

I felt Compassion.  *laughs* ya, really, right there In a fish factory.
a Non Greed induced emotion... not Pity, not Sorrow.

Just a 'Wow, what the fuck was I THINKING?' ya know?

*ponders*

considering the frozen block of fresh chum I still got, obviously, not a
lot *laughs*

I Gotta Go
Torbjon

 Subject:
        lazyblatentadvertisment
   Date:
        Wed, 15 Sep 1999 23:45:12 -0800

not that anybody gives a rats ass, but Solstice is up to sixteen
chapters now *shrugs*

So, if yer Really Bored...

it Starts here:

http://www.geocities.com/Area51/Chamber/1561/solstice1.htm

seeya
Torbjon
 

So today was pretty mellow.  Got the stuff on the barge, got some days 'till the next one, no
packers in the morning *dreamy*

Superior Pete is me sidekick, tons of space... half the funky orders gotta be packed or have
additional labeling or what not, so the only Real gig is a groovy Coho order fer ASI...

remember ASI? They came through with a tramper (big assed boat) not too long ago and took a
buncha totes from us, an' then at the last minute said they wanted Two totes on One pallet an' I had
ta go slip in the fish house an' alla that rot there....  THEM guys.

Now they want a buncha Coho only this time they want it in vans... but they still want Two totes on
One pallet *shrugs*

doing that in a van is groovy *giggles* half as many totes ta slip, ya know?? *wink* and there's a
tote behind ya ta push against *laughs*

Cake.

Only thing is, the floors of me vans are these metal strips, so there's like, Air Flow, ya know? An'
they're pretty slick...

An' the bottom of a pallet don't have much surface area, ya know?  just a couple o' boards runnin'
across the bottom there... an' these are Frozen pallets, comin' right outta the fridge, so they're pretty
slick too *giggles*

So, I'm slippin' a tote on top of another one, pushing it off my forks, rolling backwards as I push,
only it feels like I'm standing on the brake a bit (I'm not) which makes me think I have it forward
gear (so the electric motor is trying to push me forward while the tote pusher dealy bobber is
pushing me backwards)

So I look... Nope, in neutral...

I look up, tote is pushing off my forks just fine...

I look down,

and the bottom tote that Should be directly underneath the tote I am Just Finishing to push all the
way Off my forks is sliding along with me, nice and smooth, right underneath my forks *laughs*

I, of course, very calmly and professionally let loose with a blood curdling "OH MY GOD
NOOOOOOOO!!!!"

By Rights, the bottom of the tote should opened up and the fish shoulda dumped out inta that nifty
bit of empty space underneath 'em...

Whitey just happened to be walking by just then, saw 1100 pounds of Coho floating in the air, saw
a crazy man howling at the gods, and kept right on walking *laughs*

Superior Pete strolled over ta see if I'd lopped off an arm or something, saw a tote floating in the air,
me frothing at the mouth, *shrugs* business as usual on the van dock *Laughs* He steps Way
Back.

I wonder just how long Gravity is gonna stay out ta lunch an' if the Fates are gonna be groovy

I figured me only hope was ta run the film backwards *shrugs* Try ta slip it Back onta me forks,
Pushing the bottom tote Back inta place as I drove forward...

The top tote teetered, tipping back and wedging into the now half a tote sized hole beneath it,
leaning at a 45 degree angle *sigh*

Okay, thinks I, maybe I can shove the bottom forward an' the top one will flip up and back onta it...

so I pushed against the bottom one

and it just Munched into the now Thoroughly wedged in top tote *giggles*

A variety of colorful metaphors came ta mind then, and they reverberated Nicely within the half full
van an' out inta the world beyond...

Superior Pete came ta have another peek.

"Tape." sez I

"Tape?" sez he...

"TAPE" sez I, meaning it this time *giggles*

"Tape" sez he, and goes and gits some tape.

I pull the bottom tote out, the top tote tips back and falls ta the floor, facing upwards now, it's
bottom facing me.

the bottom, not being taped shut because Normally 1100 pounds of product sitting on Top of it is
Enough to keep it shut, ya know? *giggles* pops Open because the bottom is now the side, and
there before me eyes is a small wall of fish being held back by a very thin sheet of plastic. My Faith
in plastic products triples *giggles* the bag holds....
 

I slip me forks underneath the whole shebang, pull it forward a bit, lift it up and allow it to roll off,
making the bottom the top.  Superior Pete shows up with the tape, we tap the top closed, move the
label to the top right hand corner where it belongs, put the tote back onto a pallet...

put some more totes on the van... and it dawns on me that it took as long to fix it as it did to dump it
*Bursts out Laughing!!!*
 

I sez ta Pete "it really Sucks bein' both that Good and that Bad" *grins*

I got a lot to learn.

and I gotta go
Torbjon
 

 Subject:
        lazyFatality
   Date:
        Fri, 17 Sep 1999 19:34:24 -0800

So, one of our bozoboys bit the dust last night in the bunkhouse *sigh*
That may seem callous but tha's about all I know... he either drank
himself to death, drank himself to near death and then died, drank a lot
then got whacked in the head and then died, fell down drunk whacked
himself in the head then died, or aliens did it.... *sigh*   It's Very
Hard to git accurate information in a fish factory... even about
something of this magnitude...  Judy flipped through the rolodex and
showed me the dudes picture... one of the hardened criminal types we
hired this past summer who is still here... didn't know 'im... I head
back ta the van dock an' the guy I just saw in the picture walks by
*laughs* *sigh*

imagine my befuddlement

My first knowledge of it was this morn, before I'd even clocked in,
Lindsy comes up ta Big Dave an' me, tellin' Big Dave tha' she Really
Needs A Cigarette.  Havin' Never seen Anyone jones That hard before, we
Both pull out our smokes an' offer her the packs... She smokes... "I
just found a Dead Guy" sez she

I was decaffeinated.

Dave was Dave.

ya, no clever reply ta that one *laughs* , just yer basic "uh, okay"

*sigh*

Jay came at me with "there's a dead guy in our room"

other folks talkin' about the dead guy...

ya...

dead guy *shrugs*

I was told his name... I'm sure others were too... no one used it
though, at least, not around me... dead guy in the bunkhouse...

folks excited about it... gossipy about it.  *sigh* no one seemed too
put out... although I'd imagine that those that Were put out by it
weren't hangin' out in my little world *laughs*

odd scene.

Work went well... normal chaotic cluster fuck with one groovy exception,
Superior Pete took care of the packers fer me *dreamy* Remember Pete?
Pete an' Lord Mach did alla the Herring vans fer me Waaaay Back When
*giggles*  Highly Trained Professionals.  So tha' stress Vanished

The weirdness coming from the Other direction was small in volume, but
incredibly bizarre and varied *laughs*

An' even though ASI TOOK and is TAKING tons of stuff Outta the fridge,
shit is gittin stashed back in, too... *sigh* an' it ain't pretty
*laughs* End of the Season

went out the road with Karen the other day, the Soki in the stream were
bright red, doin' their Last gig in the streams...

The other Go Go Girl splits tomorrow, this is her last season Ever,
she's got a good gig somewhere else now...

*sigh*

Her I'll miss..

Don't know about the dead guy tho'
*laughs*

*sigh*

I gotta go
Torbjon

 Subject:
        lazyToys
   Date:
        Mon, 20 Sep 1999 22:29:23 -0800
 

So I'm the only dude with toys left... no, really.  Cannery is shut
down, they're stashin' seine skiffs in there and tearin' down the lines
and what not...

They're tearin' up Beach Crew an' shovin' it inta the fire pit...

the egg room is gittin' stuffed inta the egg tent...

an' Ya, sure,there's Some fish comin' In, but not alla that much
*shrugs*

The fridge, however, is still Pretty Dam full *laughs*  an' folks down
south are like, Selling it, which means we gotta dig it out an' pack it
up an' ship it, ya know? *sigh*

An' that's Work *giggles*

So I'm Working.  *shrugs* ya, Really... it's Still going on, the fish in
a box thing *sigh*

An' fer the most part, it's still mind numbingly mundanely Boring
*giggles*

An' the folks tha' I work with are... *shrugs* the same ol' freeks they
always was, ya know?

'Cept fer Gary... *ponders*

Remember Gary?  the Scary little freakazoid tha' was bein' such a prick
even after scorin' alla the groovy goodies?  Ya, tha' Gary...

he's done some bizarre Dr. Jykle Mr. Hyde gig on us... he's bein' Way
Responsible, way cool... *shrugs* Day and Night *laughs*

so lemme git this straight... score on the lead job an' the cute chick,
an'  alla that, an' he blows off work an' fucks things up and acts like
a prick...

chick splits, lead job is over, back ta being a bozo and Wham, he's
there every day, does it all right, is way cool...  *sigh*

I ain't EVER gonna figure this shit out *Laughs*

The Wiccan is another one I can't figure... remember the Wiccan?  She's
one I've written about from time ta time over the months... years...
whatevers *laughs*  She chased me away a few years back, then looked me
up again just recently, then kinda Reamed me 'cause I wasn't somebody
else *Laughs!* *sigh*

strange world

then again, I just got an' invite ta go burn the forest down an' dance
naked through it with some very interesting folks, soooo... *giggles*
maybe the world ain't alla that strange after all, I dunno...

I Do gotta go though
Torbjon

 Subject:
        lazydreamy
   Date:
        Tue, 21 Sep 1999 20:25:38 -0800
 

So, today was one of Those days where everything went right but it Still
pisses ya off  ya know the type??  Started off by going through Every
Single tote in holding five (the biggest, noisiest, Coldest fridge we
got) ta find a certain flavor of fish fer the packers ta pack out inta
god awful 100 pound boxes *laughs*

ya.  came in Early ta sit on a frozen goat with six blast fans howlin'
at me ta dig out totes of stuff fer the packers ta put inta boxes I
REALLY don't wanna lift only so I can go lift said boxes once I find
enough totes...

I had ta go through a couple hundred of the buggers only ta find out we
don't have enough totes ta fill the order *laughs*  *sigh*
 

grumpy way ta start the day

but it was no biggy, filled the order with something else and moved
on...

Still, lot of little things after that, silly things, mundane things,
Normal things *laughs*

grrrr

grumpy things *laughs*

I was more than ready ta git outta there when all was said and done, ya
know? *giggles*

so I git home,

do my thing,,

fire up the machine ta check me email, fully expecting the usual round
of spam and silly forwards and junk, maybe a status report from one of
my webpage counters or some other torbtown related garbage, note from
the folks, about nine megs of Something from the Chaos Junkie, maybe a
dirty picture or two from Baitboy, a Simply or a Blah from one of our
other mass mail generating freeks *laughs* ... the Normal, Usual gig, ya
know?

*bursts out Laughing!*

nope.

complete opposite.

FOUR notes, that was it.

each from a differant person...

*dreamy*

Now then, it's not like I actually Have a top ten list of totally cool
chicks, but IF I did, these four would be up there in the top five, Oh
Ya *dreamy*  No Doubt *swoons*

*grins*

an' it ain't like that, they're all married and what not, just, they're
Way Cool Chicks, ya know?  writing ta Me *blush*

he hee heee

fish seem so bloody boring in comparison, ya know?

oh well, I gotta go
Torbjon

 Subject:
        lazystorm
   Date:
        Wed, 22 Sep 1999 20:10:18 -0800
 

So I yelled at UnAble today *sigh* Able is the Other half of the Whitey/UnAble Co-Cold Storage
Supervisor team, an' one bozo I did Not have to deal with at all all summer long *dreamy*

So it's been kinda weird lately... you all know that *laughs* I bitch about it regularly *shrugs* But,
one of the Groovy things has been no glazing *grin*  there just hasn't been enough salmon lately to
run the glaze line, ya know?  been mostly black cod and halibut which is dealt with differently than
salmon...

Now then, it's Pissing here.  not raining, not showering, Pissing.  HARD. an' ya, sure, the van dock's
got a roof an' two walls...but then it's got an alley and a van pit which are like, Exposed ta the world
*shrugs* an' of course, the world just marches right onta the dock pretty much whenever it feels like
it, (which is often) and today the world happened to be Pissing.

So the super smooth slab o' cement that is me van dock is more than slightly slick *shrugs*

An' you all Know tha' Hot air rises, so ya, Cold air Sinks, an' there's a nice steady icy cold breeze
rolling outta the freezer, across the dock, an' down inta the pit *shrugs*

So ya, the dock glazed over right around the door, nice thin sheet of ice *laughs* how could it Not,
right?

This is Normal... today was a little slicker than normal, perhaps, but still...

SO

I'm eyein' the packing room, makin' sure things are groovy, when I hear a horn honk an' someone
drives inta the fridge... a sound I've heard a Gazillion and one times so it takes a minute ta register...
Someone just drove Into the fridge... WHY is someone driving into the fridge??  there should be
stuff coming OUT of the fridge, going inta the packing room, then OUT again and inta vans, ta be
shipped OUTTA HERE...

Nothing should be going IN... not even a forklift *laughs*

So I turn around and walk out onta the dock, there's a horn honk, a curtain slap, an' Whamo,
there's Ernesto the Partial Guy (remember Ernesto?  he Used ta be the Quality Alaska guy 'till crab
ended,,, now he's the glaze line partial guy) flyin' outta the fridge with a couple of partial totes,
Obviously taking them to the glaze line.

He hits the ice just right, goes sideways, Whacks inta a pole with a nice thunk, says Ooops (THE
majik word *wink*) then turns ta me an' sez all excited an' crazy like "Glazing Till Midnight!! he hee
heee heeeee heeeeeee" and drives off!

No Way, thinks I, but he's Gone before I can articulate my dismay *laughs*

grrrrr

So, OFF I storm, through the fridge, checking out the blasts and holdings.... blast one, mixed
garbage, mostly fer the packing room, no stress.  blast two, Totally empty... hmmmm

check out holding one, ya, okay, SOME trays of salmon tha' could be toted up, Not A Lot though,
nothing to Stress over, that's fer sure *laughs*

I head out inta the fish house...

Empty trays Everywhere...

What The Fuck?

Peek in blast three... Full of Empty Trays!

no way...

Peek in blast four.... More Empty Trays!

No Way!

crack open blast five....

Empty Fucking Trays!!!

Fire up the glaze line for Maybe ten totes of product??

GRRRR

Fucking Raul.

So I Storm over ta the glaze line

RAUL, Whaddaya Doin???

"I am going to glaze, but there is not a lot" sez he

ya, No Shit... WHY?

"Because my Boss Told me too" sez he, none too pleased with his boss *laughs*

Whitey Told you to glaze?

"No" sez he, "My OTHER Boss" an' nods towards the back dock and UnAble (dressed in some
Very Neon Pink rain gear that STILL hurts my eyes eight hours later *laughs*)

Huh... well, Go Slow, willya?  I ain't set up fer this...

"Oh, I go Very Slow" sez he, givin' me The Nod.

So I Stormed out ta the back dock, an' there was the Chaos Junkie on a Namco... Scary sight that
*shudders*  an' UnAble, sorta chattin' but not lookin' too stressed or nuthin...*shrugs*

I stand there.  Unable looks at me.  "what's up?" sez he

Why are we glazing?? sez I.

To wit he gives me a real good impersonation of a deer caught in headlights.

I wait.

I try again.

Why are we glazing Now?

The 'why' was throwing him... it Had to be the 'why' *sigh*

the deer in the head lights look faded a bit and I got a "well.... because" back, like THAT was
enough of an answer, ya know?

keep in mind that Grrrr was still on the Top of my list *giggles*

Because Why?? What's the Stress?  WHY glaze NOW?

the deer look was replaced by that glassy glaze chickens git on a Real Hot day when they is lookin'
at something that only They can see...

I waited...

"I had too many people" sez he...

Too many people...

Had to keep them busy while they waited fer boats ta unload before he could use 'em ta cut fish...

needed Something for them to do...

So he just Goes and fires up the glaze line *sigh*

Did you ever stop to think about where those totes are gonna GO?  There may not be Room
for them sez I, less than pleased.

to whit he brushes me off an' sez "Make Room"

Mr. B and Mr. Wilson don't even brush me off like that and they ARE The Boss *laughs*

If Whitey brushed me off like that we Would have Words.

I'd been hearin' all summer long what a Nazi Unable is, so I was somewhat prepared, an' I already
Knew what a bozo he can be,  so I was ready fer that too...

I didn't kill him *sigh*

I bit me tongue

The Next time ya glaze, tell Me first, Then tell Raul sez I with No Love whatsoever *laughs*

The chicken look fired up a bit an' he turned his back on me an' Stormed Off!

*giggles*

I KNOW that Feeling Well *smirk*

Raul was Cool and true ta his word, slow and steady, no suprises.

at the end of the day Superior Pete came up to me... his leave started on Monday so that threw me
for a bit, then it dawned on me, Oh Ya, his new computer musta Finally showed up... I bet he needs
help.

"I Need Help" sez Pete

so after work I went over ta his place an' saw his new baby.... *laughs* his monitor is bigger than
my whole house, it's got All the bells and whistles...

won't see much of Him fer a while *laughs*

I gotta go
Torbjon
 

 Subject:
        lazystereo
   Date:
        Sat, 25 Sep 1999 12:27:01 -0800

*sip*

*Yawn*

mmph...

*sip*

And I've been up for an HOUR already *laughs*

*puff puff*

So, I got the weekend Off.

Ya, Really. you read it right

TWO bloody days off, In A Row *dreamy*

That hasn't happend since... Spring?  *sigh*  I dunno, a few forevers
ago

48 hours of R&R *dreamy* an' I look around the house here, an' I can see
about 700 hours of Projects that need ta be done *Laughs!!*  Things as
mundane as dishes, to shit as far fetched as the reconstruction of
Torbtown, an' of course, alla the sex and drugs and rock n' roll in
between *smirks*

*sip*

I also see a bitchin bottle of wine, some brie, some bread... no babes
though, an' the stereo is busted *shudders*

ya, you didn't Know that, didja?  I am Sans Stereo... SOUNDLESS... no
soul in me hiddy hole *sigh*

me boom box at work busted a few days back... it was sittin' with me on
the goat, we was diggin' totes o' coho outta holding five... holding
five is da Big One offa the van dock there, the one with alla the Blast
Fans in it, and the wind just howlin' an' whippin' around, suckin' the
Life outta ya... I think a capacitor froze and exploded... Sounds like a
filter capacitor is fried, anyway... it pumps out a groovy Jimi Hindrex
feed back now *sigh*

The work box has been a groovy little stereo... got it two seasons ago,
folks gave me a Lot of shit fer spending So Much Money on a boom box
*bursts out Laughing!*  it was $120 bucks, an' the guy threw in a
Morcheeba demo cd... remember Morcheeba? *dreamy* ask for them by name
*poke poke*

120 bucks got Us two herring seasons, and two salmon seasons of Quality
Work outta that little box, an' she took some Serious Abuse an' kept on
entertaining us afterwards, too.. it got dropped in the glaze tank (a
tank full of salt water inside the freezer) a couple of times, fell down
the stairs once, fell offa the namco or pallet jacks many a time
*laughs*  got left in the freezers overnight more than once.... fer two
seasons this thing was beat ta death, but kept on tickin'...  finally,
one little 79 cent part inside the bloody thing gave up the ghost the
other day, *sigh* (said boom box, by the way, was an AWA, Highly
recomended fer bozos who like, actually USE their stereos *laughs*)

Some weeks before that, Shawn was over here at me house, making a copy
of a cd, an' me already tweeky home stereo got tweekier, the little
doors on the tape deck part won't close anymore, and the linkages to
alla the tape buttons don't work anymore, so it was down to just the
radio and the cd player...*sigh*

needless ta say, the cd player has been gittin' a Lot of 'extra' use
since then *laughs*

SO, last pay period we had a tramper come... remember the tramper?? the
Big Assed Boat tha' took away a good chunk of our Chum?  Loadin' the
tramper is Special, ya git 4 bucks an hour more ta do that, an' fer the
most part, it's pretty groovy work...

so I gots me paycheck yesterday, look on it, me day of tramper pay
grossed me 250 bucks *shrugs* an' since the music machines busted I been
thinking tha' Tramper bought me a new stereo, ya know?

so, yesterday at lunch I come home, put a cd in the player, it starts ta
make a new funky noise tha' ain't right, like it's about ready ta give
up the ghost too *sigh* but I'm also thinkin' that there is a really
groovy home stereo up at the store fer 200 bucks, a nice lookin' AWA no
less, *laughs* and that at break time I'll go Buy It *dreamy*

but I'm also thinkin' I'm frozen ta the Bone, been spending a Lot of
time in the fridge this week, been hard ta warm up afterwards, I been
outta fuel oil since spring 'cause it ain't been alla That cold here at
night... till now.

So I called the gas guys.  Only the gas guys went outta business and the
Other gas guys took over alla their accounts *shrugs*  so I'm talking ta
the Other gas guys, an' they is tellin' me Don't Stress, we Won't letcha
freeze, BUT yer gonna have ta buy a new tank, an' they cost about 250
bucks *Laughs!!!*

so much fer me tramper pay *sigh*

what a Choice; Music or Warmth *sigh*

BOTH are necassities

Warmth won out, an' I'm sittin' here in me shorts an' a tee shirt fer
the first time since...july? a long time, anyway...

living with only a radio though *sigh* don't know about where You live,
but where I live there is only ONE radio station, an' it's a way groovy
one, true, but it's just ONE channel, ya know?  got NPR goin' on right
now, wether I Like it or not *sigh*

could be worse though... could be Rush Limbo or Billy Graham or
something! *laughs*

oh well,

I gotta go
Torbjon

Life's the same
We're moving in Stereo
Life's a game
Except for your shoes....
(The Cars)

Close your eyes
That'll be the day you find those lies
Fold your ears
That'll be the day that you will hear...
(The Cardigans)

 Subject:
        lazyDay
   Date:
        Wed, 29 Sep 1999 19:34:03 -0800

So, Whitey split this morning on the ferry... *sigh*

It's hard to get excited about that one... I know He was ready ta split, ta git the fuck OFF of this
rock....  I was ready ta leave the day the cute chick dumped me an' that was a LONG time ago
*laughs* so I don't really blame him none... an' he'll be back in five months, which is like,
Tomorrow *grins*

but Right Now *sigh*

So last night Whitey an' Gary an' I hung out a bit, said our farewells, stayed up late, partied a bit
more than usual *shrugs*  Guy Stuff.

So this morning the alarm clock goes off, an' you Know me *laughs* I Hate mornings as it is, add
to that being hung, and me boss an' trusted friend Gone, (makin' that freeky little fascist UnAble me
boss *shudders*) *shrugs* Ya, I was less than happy

An' I was runnin' late *sigh* so no pot of coffee an' NPR ta start off me day... git dressed, Go.

I hit the convenience store *dreamy*

You guys think YOU know me *bursts out Laughing!!!*

The chicks in the quicky mart KNOW me.

Well.

My moods, wants, needs, desires... *dreamy*

There's a half dozen of 'em, I don't know any of their names *laughs* I doubt any of them know
mine... but they know Me, my caffeine requirements, donut doses, cigarette supply, the whole ball
of wax.

This morning they set me up with an I.V. bottle of caffeine and some smokes.  I fixed on the way ta
work *shrugs* (junkies, gotta love 'em)

stroll around the corner... look down the ally... wet tire tracks leading to and from the van dock...
more than once. *sigh*

Partial guy.

Glazers.
 

Okay, I can handle this thinks I

I walk down the alley, peek onta the van dock....

Packing room door is open, lights are on, Jay is in there...

*sigh*

Packers

Okay Okay, I git the picture, Cluster as normal thinks I.

I clock in

so far, so good

I git back ta the van dock.  There's a note from Whitey, an' some stickers, an' two messages on me
phone.  The note said 'Here's some stickers fer the sperm, there ain't enough sperm packed yet, an'
when ya load it out, make sure the lids are on.'  along with a buncha other mostly useless info all
written out in nice big kindergarten letters *giggels*

I check me messages

The first was from Baitboy;  "Fuck You Torb" *laughs* short, concise, to the point.  I liked it.
However, I didn't have a fucking Clue what it was referring too so I moved on.

The second was another long winded one from Whitey saying 'There's some stickers fer the sperm,
it ain't all packed yet, make sure the lids are on, stash some stuff fer Greg' and some other
babbling...

Sperm.

Got it.

I plug in me forklifts, git me clipboards and stuff, Jay hollers over at me "We're out of bags.  We
need Bags." with a sense of caffination and alertness that I do not share.

I look around.

There's Me

There's Him.

I'm running on a single lethal injection of caffeine only and I KNOW I don't need no stinking bags
*laughs*

Warehouse.  Second floor.   By the window.  Pallets of 'em.  They say 50# Fish sez I,
wondering what the Glazeline is doing...

The Partial Guy shows up just then, sets two full totes down on the van dock and splits.

So That's what the Glazeline is doing *laughs*

I finish off a Black Cod van with some stuff I brought down yesterday, stashed the glazeline stuff in
the fridge, took me tally up ta Marva and handed it to her...

She hands me Two orders back in return *sigh*

Couple of vans of Coho fer ASI, like the last ones.  Good Gig.

Only thing is, Date To Ship is 093099  *Laughs!!*

Tomorrow.

By then it was break and back I went ta the quicky mart fer a blast of the black brew.

Dosed.

They packed, they glazed, I popped open a new van ta load out some more Black Cod... ramp
won't fit *laughs*  Forty feet of Empty Space an' I can't get into it, gotta git a driver ta pull the
bloody thing forward about five inches *sigh*

Packers make a few pallets of stuff... I stash it.  Marva gives me the paperwork on the tally I gave
her, seal up the van, call the man ta git a driver...

Jay comes at me;  "We Need Bags.  We're Out Of Bags." sez he.

I ponder the horribly familiar feeling associated with the situation, a deep sense of de ja vu washed
over me, marginally caffinated brain cells Struggled with it for a bit before it sank in... WE already
HAD this conversation Today, Not yesterday... Not last month... Not last Season...

TODAY.

Some HOURS ago...

And NOW his crew was standing around behind him, lookin' at Me, and there Really was a 'We'
*Laughs*

I tried again.  On the second floor of the warehouse, down here by the window, there's pallets
of them, they say 50# fish on them.

I KNEW he didn't Space it, he'd just never been up there and was nervous about it, ya know?
Warehouse can be a spooky place *giggles*

Off he went.  I stashed the glazeline stuff.  I come outta the fridge an' there's Jay and UnAble with a
pallet of 100# fish bags *rolls eyes*

The crew comes over ta look at da bags, sayin' things like "dis don't look right" and other clever
things.

I leave alla them an' take Jay ta the warehouse.  He is stressed out babblin' the whole time *laughs*

We git ta the second floor.  I tell 'im ta LOOK around.  He pokes around a little and gits bit by a
pallet of 50# fish bags *grins*  I walk around a bit, every now an' then saying LOOK, he'd Look
and go Oh Wow, STUFF we use!  boxes and liners and bags and straps...

I head back ta the dock, git caught up again, go to lunch *Grin*

Head back ta work, hit the alley, peek onta the van dock ta see what happened while I was away,
see a sight that was Not Pretty and decide I'm clocking in for this one *laughs*

SOMEONE unknown to me hopped on the goat an' was gonna move some pallets of stuff and in
the process knocked one of me ramps outta it's happy home an' down inta the van pit and in the
process of doin' that they plowed inta the wall of the packing room and shoved it over about five or
six inches so it was all bent and twisted like some Escher drawing *sigh*

There was No massive blood smear, there Was a crowd of Packers, so I asked anyone git hurt?

Nope.

Okay, cool, no loss of life.

I eyed the dangling slab of steal that was me ramp... it seemed okay, just outta place.  THAT I
could fix.

I eyed the wall.

THAT's structural *sigh*

So I told the shop guys.

They had a look...

*laughs*

one of Those days

I miss Whitey.

I gotta go
Torbjon

 Subject:
        lazyblah
   Date:
        Thu, 30 Sep 1999 15:14:07 -0800

me sick...

*laughs*

um, ya, THAT too, but ill sick, fevery, achy, bitchy, *laughs*

I called in this morning, ta Mr. B and Marva both, figger they is me
boss now as they be the ones givin' me orders an' askin' the Big
Questions and what not... not sure UnAble is up on sperm... or raw
Russian roe for that matter *laughs*  I don't think Anyone knows where
the tote of RRFB went... round rock fish bait *rolls eyes* used ta be
with a tote that said E Fish, U Touch, U Die, U Don't, U Live *laughs*
bait is worse than computers... LLBP, POP3 STMP?

em oh you es ee

(pain pills, gotta love 'em *laughs*)

Wonder if anybody drove through the wall today?

This is what one of our lazy comrades had ta say about yesterday:

"Torb...What to say???  hummmm?  Oh yeah.  I remember now.
Ha ha ha ha.  You're loading vans in P.burg and I'm having sex in
Portugal.
HA HA HA HA HA.
Sorry.  Had to say it because, well i guess because it's true.  What is
true
you ask.  Well...
That you're loading vans in P.burg and I'm having sex in Portugal!!!  ha
ha
ha ha ahahahahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahahahhahaha!!"

*smirks*

I remember the Count Down well, comrade, all summer long... "TORB! in 48
days I get to have Sex..."  "TORB!!  in 27 days I get to have Sex..."
"TORB!!! in 4 days I get to have Sex..."

then the email came... "I'm at the airport, in 16 hours and 37 minutes,
I'll get to have Sex..." *laughs*

then Nothin' fer like two or three weeks... *giggles* Ya, wonder what
They were doin' *smirks*

good ta know Life goes on though.

So, I'm tryin' ta Actualize Torbtown, an' it's confusing the hell out of
me *laughs* not hard ta do, still... *sigh*

I miss Az.

Az is a way cool chick I met online Way Back When, we been chattin' a
lot over the forevers, she's a very trusted Comrade with a life every
bit as weird as me own (which was kinda reassuring, actually *laughs*)
an' we just clicked, ya know?  She finally got ta hook up with her dream
guy and moved on ta newer turf and is currently sans computer access
*sigh*

Az could find Anything *snap* just like that.  I, on the other hand,
poke around with the search engine thingies and find Everything But what
I want *laughs*

I know what I want, I know the Answer...

I just don't know the Question *Laughs*

I gotta go
Torbjon