Subject:
        lazyreturn
   Date:
        Tue, 04 May 1999 20:30:20 -0800

So I get back today, and it's Still cold and rainy, but I got sunburned
while I was gone so it was okay. *grin*

So I walk home from the airport, and I walk into the house, and no
little fairies came an' cleaned it up while I was gone, but nobody
thrashed it either so that was pretty cool.

an the answering machine is blinking like crazy so I play off alla the
messages... Most of 'em are from Tom bein' a freek, a couple of real
dreamy ones, some work stuff...

Then I fire up the machine which has been sitting here doing absolutly
Nothing the whole time I was gone...

And the Same Bloody Registry Error Crashed the whole thing *laughs*

...thought I'd Fixed that *shrugs*

At the moment I've managed to sidestep the problem somewhat, but it
won't last long... or rather my patience with buggering through a
computer sideways won't last long *grin*

*eyes the rusty saw and gerber tool*  I'm thinking about giving this
thing a Serious reprograming....

Tom tells me a multitude of mirthful and maddening events transpired
during my leave *giggles*

Can't wait ta meet 'em *wink*

I gotta go
Torbjon

 Subject:
        lazydayback
   Date:
        Wed, 05 May 1999 20:42:54 -0800
 

*laughs*

So, a Lot of people seemed rather pleased to see me back again...

After seein' the rows and rows of totes stacked ta the cielin' in
holding five, all leanin' at a 30 degree angle, and the totally twisted
twilightzone stack patterns they used in the other holdings I kin see
why *grin*

An' tha's just the totes of herring that came in while I was gone, there
were... other things.

On an up note I'm gonna be pretty busy fer a while *grin* which isn't
alla That Great, but the money's good an' I'm broke so it all works out
in the end.

So it's raining sideways, an' kinda snowing... Still.  Next month is
summer Solstice, ya know, so, um, it Could stop Now and I wouldn't mind
a bit, really.  *sigh* truth is I git the feelin' it's gonna rain every
fucking day this summer.  It's done that here before... '91 was like
that... so was '94... *sigh* why does that seem like yesterday?

*ponders*

Oh!  duh... total lack of drugs in my system  *smacks forehead* no
wonder.

One of the things tha' went on while I was gone was that the OSHA guy
came by and dinged us (me) for not having chocks in me van pit *laughs*
(a chock is just a wedge ya stick under a tire so it won't roll)  The
way Tom was tellin' it he and others were on the van dock doin' stuff
when the guy came and asked him/them about it an' they all looked around
goin' "er, um, ah..." not knowin' if he meant chalk or chock or what...

He was tellin' me this las' night about an' hour after I got offa the
plane, an' I look at him an' say, " ya know that hunk of metal that we
use ta keep the packing room door open?  Tha's a chock."

I was promptly rewarded with that totally blank, dear caught in the
headlights, stare for a good 20 seconds before he rolled his eyes an'
gave me tha' " I'm Too White" look *giggles* (I Love it when that
happens *grin*)

I had four of the things but today when I went in I only had one...
which bothered me 'till one of the shop guys told me that a bunch of
Other shop guys took 'em and were using them as templates ta make More
of the bloody things *laughs*

So, any way of gittin' this OSHA guy to complain about the alley??
hmmm???  *sigh* just a thought....

hmmm... what else is goin' on....

Um, mr. B tells me were gonna box up 200 TONS of herring into 50 pound
boxes an' I git ta load it all out by next weeks barge *laughs*   *does
the math*  200 tons = 400,000 pounds = 8000 boxes = 10 vans.  Mr. B
wants ta do that in three days, no overtime.

*giggles* If this keeps up I'm gonna be one strong mutha by the time
summer rolls around *wink*

summer...

so what is the last summer of the millinium gonna bring us? hmmm??  I'm
almost afraid ta think about it... too many groovy things could happen
this time...  *shudders*   not sure I kin handle 'groovy', ya know? I
mean, with the exception of gittin' recognized as a key dude and one
Very Nice sunset,  this past 12 months has pretty much been things like
alla me friends quitin' and moving on, and gittin' reamed every third
day for doing or not doing whatever it was I was doing or not doing
*laughs* or me drain pipes busting or me computer fryin' or what not
*grins*  WONDERFUL learning experiences, true, but not as groovy as
watchin' a sunset with a cool chick or gittin' a pat on the back for
tryin' so hard...

dunno *shrugs*

Oh well, I gotta go
Torbjon
 

 Subject:
        lazypot
   Date:
        Thu, 06 May 1999 20:10:05 -0800

So I guess the drug free lazy was borin' as all hell 'cause somebody
gave me a joint today *bursts out laughing!!*

Can you believe it?

Blew me away *shrugs*

It was kinda rainy then, so I said what the hell, I'll save it fer a
rainy day, ya know? *smirk*
 

Wouldn'tcha know it, the fucking sun came out then *laughs*  All day,
just fucking gorgeous *grins*

Ah well, can't complain about That, now, can we?

Also got a lot of advice taday about me computer, which is busy knawing
away at itself as I type *sigh*

Let's see, the Chaos Junkie said I should just nuke the hard drive
*laughs* wipe the bloody thing clean an' start over...

Flashback came at me an' sez " ya know Torb, there comes a time in every
mans life when he has to go and pay a professional to do it " ... okay,
maybe we weren't talkin' 'bout computers then, *shrug* I dunno...

Cool Pete comes at me with the ultra capitalistic long term investment
angle;

" Gateway, all the bells and whistles, 78 bucks a month "

*bursts out Laughing!!*

*glares at the computer*

I'll reprogram the bloody thing with an axe if it gits too persnickety

hmmm...

work

*shudders*

you don't  wanna know about that place

Tomorrow begins the massive 200 ton pack out spree *giggles*

So, here's the gig;  Me an' Raul... Remember Raul?  Ya, me an' him git
ta go in early tomorrow an' dig these nice big 1000 pound totes outta
the freezer an' take 'em inta the fish house where various bozos will
dump the herring outta the totes and put 'em back into these groovy
little 50 pound boxes an' label 'em an' stack 'em on a pallet and drive
the bloody things back ta me again and Hey, guess what? me an' Pete an'
Jim git ta stack the 50 pound boxes in a van *laughs*

At least, tha's the Theory. *giggles*

Oh well, I gotta go
Torbjon
 

 Subject:
        lazydrugs
   Date:
        Fri, 07 May 1999 12:40:16 -0800
 

*laughs*

fully a half dozen folks an' a few more who aren't even ON the bloody
list asked me about the joint *grins*

So, fer the record, NO, I didn't smoke the bloody thing (yet), after
all, I got a Job ta do, ya know?  besides, if ya been reading these
things fer a while now, well, doesn't it seem to you like half the
bloody factory is Stoned Already?? *giggles* ya, so why add my two cents
ta that mess, ya know?

summer will be over before we know it anyway, so I ain't stressing about
it...

okay, lunch is over,
I Gotta Go
Torbjon

 Subject:
        lazyphase
   Date:
        Fri, 07 May 1999 21:02:02 -0800
 

*Bursts Out Laughing!!*

sex and drugs, that Really Is all you guys think about, huh? *poke*
sheesh, git a life fer chrissakes, it was just a few lines of copy ta
fill up the page, but ya, it DID happen *shrugs*  my life is too fucked
up as it is to go about making up More of it, ya know?

So, remember the Theory I mentioned yesterday?  Pull out some totes,
take the fish outta the totes, put 'em in another type of box, then put
'em in the van and ship them off... pretty simple, right?

*giggles*

Ya, nice theory.

The Reality is when we got there this morn' and started doin' our thing
it became painfully obvious that we were exactly 180 degrees out of
phase with the game plan *laughs*

I had the wrong kind of vans in the pit.

The kind of vans we did need aren't even on the island *laughs*

The codes we needed to fill those vans we didn't have weren't where I
left them (there was some shuffling of totes while I was gone)

What was going to be a simple operation was instantly a chaotic cluster
fuck *laughs*

Mr. B earned Cool Points today *snicker*  he zapped the outtaphase with
a torpedo ta keep the ball rollin, juggled some stuff, did the song and
dance thing, by lunch things were beginning ta look pretty groovy...

Sometime after lunch he comes back and says I need to check me voice
mail.

Voice Mail was a phrase that threw me fer a sec so I replied in me most
professional voice; "Huh?" *laughs* then it dawns on me, oh ya, right,
the phone, duh.

So I check me messages and Mr. B is watchin' me so I'm figgerin' "this
is IT, Ed McMahn called me, I'm RICH" *giggles*

First message rattles off an' it's Bait Boy leaving me a freeky message
in reply ta the freeky message I left him concernin' some bait I'd
discovered

The second message was about thirty seconds of heavy breathing *shrugs*
Hey, don't ask Me, I only work there...

Then comes a message from Mr. B and I'm thinking ' well what the hell ya
doin' makin' me stand here an'  listen to yer message when yer standing
Right There starin' at me?? '

So I'm standing there thinkin' tha's it, he's flipped into the
TwilightZone when allofa sudden it ain't His voice I'm hearin' anymore
but Patricks (da Boss) an' I'm thinkin' tha's it, I'VE just flipped over
into the TwilightZone *giggles*

An' then the message blips again an' now I'm hearing this Larry Dude (an
even bigger Boss down in Seattle) sayin' This Is What We're Gonna Do.

So he rattles off the game plan, an' the way he's rattlin' it off it
pretty much sounds like he's DePhaseing everything Mr. B an' the rest of
us pounded out this mornin' , an' me bein' in the TwilightZone already
pretty much just sorta, you know, *shurgs*  Loose It  *laughs*

But the way he finishes up his little Voice Mail thingy it flipped it
all around and tied it all together so by the end of his speech it turns
out we were doing it Right *grins* an' of course Me, having just
wondered off inta the TwilightZone and Lost It completely, I come
Crashing back ta Earth with a dull *Shwap!* right on the face *giggles*

That man has a very Sadistic sense of humor *laughs* cool point just for
that.

Even after that I still spent most of the day runnin' 'round in circles,
it was Pete an' Jim tha' did alla the Work.  (those guys are horribly
underpaid Gods, btw)

Gonna be a long weekend...

Oh well, I gotta go
Torbjon
 

something is wrong....

the weekend was Great.

It was Sunny.

Pete an' Jim were a dream crew makin' my life a breeze.

Nothing broke too badly.

Work was actually... nice.

On top of that I'm getting a lot of messages from a lot of differant
girls.... which is also Nice.

Got the word that Mr. Stitts is indeed going to return this summer.  He
was my assistant last summer... and That's nice too... Rob was good.

Havin' Tom fer a boss is deffinately Nice...

*sigh*

Hell is freezing over, Right?

I gotta go
Torbjon

 Subject:
        lazyfashion
   Date:
        Wed, 12 May 1999 12:23:30 -0800

So like fifteen years ago I thought it was pretty cool ta sneak inta the
Chico State University computer lab at like three in the morning an' see
if I could hack somebody's password an' git access ta the mainframe
*shrugs*

Never wanted ta mess anything up, just play with the computer, write
some lines of Basic or maybe score on a Pong game or something *shrugs*
it was 'cool' ... it was fashionable.  Computers were just startin' ta
git good, an' like, Normal People could actually buy these things an'
have 'em in their homes *giggles*

At the time, I was livin' under a sheet of plastic out in the woods an'
didn't have a wall socket, let alone the money ta buy one of these new
fangled computer thingies, so I snuck inta the computer labs or hung out
friends houses whose folks Did git one, an' just messed with the bloody
things every chance I got, tryin' ta figure 'em out, how ta git it ta do
what I wanted it ta do... an' me friends (and their folks) were tryin'
ta figure out these bloody things too... it was the Rage back then
*shrugs*

Now, however, I find that hackin' inta my Own bloody computer every
fucking time I turn it on Just ta check me mail is a Real Pain in the
ass *laughs*  Funny, huh?  I mean, remember Clearly a time in my life
when having access ta this kinda technology woulda been nothing but
grins and giggles no matter How messed up it was, ya know?

The thing's gotta bug or two, no doubts about that *sigh*

On another fashion note, I do believe that Bait Boy is bored beyond
belief, 'cause he's givin' me Fashion Advice *laughs* No, Really.  Keep
in mind this is a guy tha' sells bait fer a livin' to a bunch of guys
that have been on a boat forever, an' wears boots, brown overhauls, a
blue jacket an' a baseball cap ta work everyday *giggles*

He seemed ta be under the impression that I'd do better with the chicks
if I dressed a little more... spiffy *laughs*

I'm more under the impression tha' there needs ta be some chicks around
Before things like color coordinated socks become a concern *shrugs*

Besides, Work Clothes are in their own little world anyway.  I WORK fer
a livin', I don't have a high profile public relations type gig, I play
with vans covered with road grime an' grease, an oily chains an' beat up
old pallets, an' forklifts an' all that bizarre shit in the fridge...

So ya, I don't wear me best ta work *grins*

Okay Okay, so maybe I Do wear the same teeshirt 'till it rots offa me
body *shrugs* It's a good teeshirt, ya know?

So, since we're on the subject o' work, what the hell has been goin' on
these past couple o' days, hmmm?

Kelp.

Roe on Kelp, actually *shrugs* fish eggs on weeds... people eat the
damnedest things *shakes head*

This stuff gits stored in 100% brine at a temperature just above
freezing before processing, an' when it's packed out into these plastic
tubs it's stored at a temperature just Below freezing, an' since the
fridge is Way below freezing tha' means stashin' this stuff in a van
*shrugs*  no biggy.

Only last couple o' days they been processin' this stuff, an' since they
want ta start the crew at 0800 tha' means somebody has ta pull the totes
out outta the van an' have 'em over there by 0600 so some highly trained
egg type specialists can dump the brine out an' wash the kelp with some
fresh water or somesuch an' have it ready fer the 0800 crew ta start
cuttin' it up an' packin' it out...

An' tha' bozo was Me *giggles* An' hey, no complaints either, Katies
Kelp was Cake *smirk*  got some nice O.T. out of it.  But apparently
Becky... *ponder* um, She Who Is Simply Too Fucking Bitchy To EVER
Deserve A Stupid Nickname, thought tha' She should scam the O.T. or
somethin' 'cause before they started doin' alla this an' was making up
the manning lists she was tellin' 'em She could git the stuff outta the
van an' drive it around *shrugs* (fine by me) but Mr. B said Nope.

Takin' the totes out in the mornin' was nothing, it was bringin' the
finished product back again tha' was the challenge.  The stuff is packed
inta these nice plastic buckets an' stacked onto a pallet, 32 of 'em, at
like a billion bucks a bucket a pallet of this shit adds up fast, ya
know?  An' the journey across the bouncy dock, down the crater infested
ally, over the fucked up ramp, an' inta the van is anything But smooth
sailing *giggles*

Beckys way of dealing with this singularly unique honor that had been
bestowed upon me was ta hose off the floor right next ta where I was
tryin' ta drag the full pallets outta the way with a pallet jack, not
actually spaying ME, but hittin' the concrete right next ta me so it
would splash up an' drench me from the knees down, an' then say "oh,
sorry, did I get you?" *laughs* (thus the reason fer the highly
fashionable yuppie rainpants I was wearing yesterday)

So, last night, near the end of the shift, Mr. B informs me that we're
probably gonna do another 10 vans of herring an' gives me list of the
cods we'll most likely be doin, an' he doesn't wanna burn me out or
nuthin, an' seein' how me computer was sick, and it WAS raining, after
all, he scheduled me today off *LAUGHS*

Now I Never told him Any of that shit... sick computer or the rainy day
thing, he ain't on the list... an' personally I don't wanna know how he
knows *shrugs* 'cause it really don't matter... but I've been hearin'
from some folks that different people Higher Up are more than a bit
curious as to just what the hell it is I'm doing in here, but ain't too
sure how ta go about finding out *laughs*

*sigh*

You'd think that if I could figger it out, They could too, ya know?
*shrugs*  So, to any of you gitting this as a forward an' are a bit too
shy ta ask fer the stuff by name, here's the secret:  go ta one of those
freebie email things like hotmail or yahoo or what not, set up a fake
account like John Doe or Slartibartfast or whatnot an' subscribe using
an alias like alla the other folks on the list who don't want us to know
who they are...

'cause in the now infamous words of our Candlemakin' Comrade; "I'm Still
Writing"

I gotta go
Torbjon

     Subject:
            Re: lazyfashion
       Date:
            Wed, 12 May 1999 21:20:52 -0800
 

Torb Jensen wrote:
>
> So like fifteen years ago I thought it was pretty cool ta sneak inta the
> Chico State University computer lab at like three in the morning an' see
> if I could hack somebody's password an' git access ta the mainframe
> *shrugs*
>
> Never wanted ta mess anything up, just play with the computer, write
> some lines of Basic or maybe score on a Pong game or something *shrugs*
> it was 'cool' ... it was fashionable.  Computers were just startin' ta
> git good, an' like, Normal People could actually buy these things an'
> have 'em in their homes *giggles*
>
> At the time, I was livin' under a sheet of plastic out in the woods an'
> didn't have a wall socket, let alone the money ta buy one of these new
> fangled computer thingies, so I snuck inta the computer labs or hung out
> friends houses whose folks Did git one, an' just messed with the bloody
> things every chance I got, tryin' ta figure 'em out, how ta git it ta do
> what I wanted it ta do... an' me friends (and their folks) were tryin'
> ta figure out these bloody things too... it was the Rage back then
> *shrugs*
>
> Now, however, I find that hackin' inta my Own bloody computer every
> fucking time I turn it on Just ta check me mail is a Real Pain in the
> ass *laughs*  Funny, huh?  I mean, remember Clearly a time in my life
> when having access ta this kinda technology woulda been nothing but
> grins and giggles no matter How messed up it was, ya know?
>
> The thing's gotta bug or two, no doubts about that *sigh*
>
> On another fashion note, I do believe that Bait Boy is bored beyond
> belief, 'cause he's givin' me Fashion Advice *laughs* No, Really.  Keep
> in mind this is a guy tha' sells bait fer a livin' to a bunch of guys
> that have been on a boat forever, an' wears boots, brown overhauls, a
> blue jacket an' a baseball cap ta work everyday *giggles*
>
> He seemed ta be under the impression that I'd do better with the chicks
> if I dressed a little more... spiffy *laughs*
>
> I'm more under the impression tha' there needs ta be some chicks around
> Before things like color coordinated socks become a concern *shrugs*
>
> Besides, Work Clothes are in their own little world anyway.  I WORK fer
> a livin', I don't have a high profile public relations type gig, I play
> with vans covered with road grime an' grease, an oily chains an' beat up
> old pallets, an' forklifts an' all that bizarre shit in the fridge...
>
> So ya, I don't wear me best ta work *grins*
>
> Okay Okay, so maybe I Do wear the same teeshirt 'till it rots offa me
> body *shrugs* It's a good teeshirt, ya know?
>
> So, since we're on the subject o' work, what the hell has been goin' on
> these past couple o' days, hmmm?
>
> Kelp.
>
> Roe on Kelp, actually *shrugs* fish eggs on weeds... people eat the
> damnedest things *shakes head*
>
> This stuff gits stored in 100% brine at a temperature just above
> freezing before processing, an' when it's packed out into these plastic
> tubs it's stored at a temperature just Below freezing, an' since the
> fridge is Way below freezing tha' means stashin' this stuff in a van
> *shrugs*  no biggy.
>
> Only last couple o' days they been processin' this stuff, an' since they
> want ta start the crew at 0800 tha' means somebody has ta pull the totes
> out outta the van an' have 'em over there by 0600 so some highly trained
> egg type specialists can dump the brine out an' wash the kelp with some
> fresh water or somesuch an' have it ready fer the 0800 crew ta start
> cuttin' it up an' packin' it out...
>
> An' tha' bozo was Me *giggles* An' hey, no complaints either, Katies
> Kelp was Cake *smirk*  got some nice O.T. out of it.  But apparently
> Becky... *ponder* um, She Who Is Simply Too Fucking Bitchy To EVER
> Deserve A Stupid Nickname, thought tha' She should scam the O.T. or
> somethin' 'cause before they started doin' alla this an' was making up
> the manning lists she was tellin' 'em She could git the stuff outta the
> van an' drive it around *shrugs* (fine by me) but Mr. B said Nope.
>
> Takin' the totes out in the mornin' was nothing, it was bringin' the
> finished product back again tha' was the challenge.  The stuff is packed
> inta these nice plastic buckets an' stacked onto a pallet, 32 of 'em, at
> like a billion bucks a bucket a pallet of this shit adds up fast, ya
> know?  An' the journey across the bouncy dock, down the crater infested
> ally, over the fucked up ramp, an' inta the van is anything But smooth
> sailing *giggles*
>
> Beckys way of dealing with this singularly unique honor that had been
> bestowed upon me was ta hose off the floor right next ta where I was
> tryin' ta drag the full pallets outta the way with a pallet jack, not
> actually spaying ME, but hittin' the concrete right next ta me so it
> would splash up an' drench me from the knees down, an' then say "oh,
> sorry, did I get you?" *laughs* (thus the reason fer the highly
> fashionable yuppie rainpants I was wearing yesterday)
>
> So, last night, near the end of the shift, Mr. B informs me that we're
> probably gonna do another 10 vans of herring an' gives me list of the
> cods we'll most likely be doin, an' he doesn't wanna burn me out or
> nuthin, an' seein' how me computer was sick, and it WAS raining, after
> all, he scheduled me today off *LAUGHS*
>
> Now I Never told him Any of that shit... sick computer or the rainy day
> thing, he ain't on the list... an' personally I don't wanna know how he
> knows *shrugs* 'cause it really don't matter... but I've been hearin'
> from some folks that different people Higher Up are more than a bit
> curious as to just what the hell it is I'm doing in here, but ain't too
> sure how ta go about finding out *laughs*
>
> *sigh*
>
> You'd think that if I could figger it out, They could too, ya know?
> *shrugs*  So, to any of you gitting this as a forward an' are a bit too
> shy ta ask fer the stuff by name, here's the secret:  go ta one of those
> freebie email things like hotmail or yahoo or what not, set up a fake
> account like John Doe or Slartibartfast or whatnot an' subscribe using
> an alias like alla the other folks on the list who don't want us to know
> who they are...
>
> 'cause in the now infamous words of our Candlemakin' Comrade; "I'm Still
> Writing"
>
> I gotta go
> Torbjon

Torbie,
When is the last time you changed your diapers?

Chuck

 Subject:
        lazypheonix
   Date:
        Mon, 17 May 1999 07:20:37 -0800

Frankie died this morning...

Frankie was me folks cat fer the last million years or so, it wasn't
really a surprise but it is still kind of a bummer, ya know? *sigh* she
was a good cat.
 

So, I got me machine nuked this weekend... it was not easy.  It did not
want to die, but a dozen reformats and a massive deleting spree later
an' the thing Finally gave up the ghost *sigh* all me art an' stories
*poof* gone.  Oh well.... sometime later I finally managed to reinstall
all the programs that make this thing work, and here I am again....

The thing looks like it just came outta the box, very stark, plain...
clean *shudders* Alien.

But it works *shrugs*

So, this past weekend was the Little Norway festival here on the
island... pretty groovy show, actually.  The Sun was Kind, the folks
were cool, an' there was more food than I could eat no matter How Hard I
tried *laughs*  Paid fer it yesterday though *oooch*

Today though *sigh* Today it's like none of that ever happened.  No
death of a comrade or loss of art, no mindless festival coupled with
over consumption followed by a brief recovery....

Just Fish.

Tons of Fish

Stress Fish and
Test Fish and
Funky Frozen Fish Fish Fillets
Fill my Day
And pave the Way
For a Better Tomorrow
 

*laughs*
Obviously I need massive amounts of caffeine...

I gotta go
Torbjon

 Subject:
        lazystill
   Date:
        Mon, 17 May 1999 20:36:47 -0800
 

So, just what the hell has been goin' on, anyway? hmmm?

Cool Pete is still goin' on about makin' a billion bucks in the stock
market and other capitalistic ventures...

Can Man Jim is Still a Prima Donna no matter How you look at it...
NOTHING pleases this guy.  This is the only guy in the Whole World who
could get laid, win the lottery and be granted Phenomenal Cosmic Powers
and STILL complain about it *laughs*

The Sun Goddess is Still rantin' an' ravin' about something or other....
0600 start up time I think was the rave fer the day... that and Bozos...
there's ALWAYS Bozos ta rant about *grin*

The only time I saw Chappo was when he came outta the fridge ta wolf
down a massive Homestead Burger at lunchtime... which is pretty normal.

Rudy still struts like raingear is a chopped Chevy an' he's cruzin' in a
lowrider *giggles*

Sergio is still Horribly Polite and Devilishly Latin... he an' Cool Pete
did a van today (40K) in an hour... I'm sure they are both feeling
Incredibly Manly right 'bout now *laughs*

Marva is STILL wearing Tight jeans and teeshirts, much to many a
bozoboys delight.

Tim, the Chaos Junkie is STILL drinking three or more highly caffinated
lattes Before ten o'clock break,  and gibbering insanely looooong before
lunchtime rolls around *giggles*

Tom, the Mighty Whitey, Westhoff, is Still spending half his day
frothing at the mouth an' the other half bein' so Cool tha' the phrase
'stoned off yer fuckin' ass' comes ta mind *Laughs!*  Tom's one of these
guys tha' plays drums that aren't there, ya know the type?  Tha' dude
walkin' down the street Rockin' Out ta a song tha' only he hears...
tha's Tom.

and Bait Boy?

*laughs*

Bait Boy is STILL Bored *giggles*  Now he's draggin' Bait Boy Jr. inta
the scene, so I got TWO identically dressed bait mongering bozos goin'
on about Fashion and Dead Cats.  *smirks*
 

I'm still writing *laughs* sorta...

I gotta go
Torbjon
 

 Subject:
        lazy
   Date:
        Wed, 19 May 1999 00:35:15 -0800

So, it was one of those mornings where I woke up at 0530ish an' I didn't
have ta git up 'till 0630ish an' I'm layin' there thinkin' "shit.  if I
get up Now, by the time Work rolls around I'll be ready ta go home.  If
I go back ta sleep I'll never wake back up..."

So I overslept *sigh*

And not one of those groovy oversleeping bouts where ya wake up way late
so it just don't matter, *laughs* naw, one of those bits of lateness
where if ya Hurry you can Just Make It *giggles*

So ya, sure, I took Large steps on me way ta work, an' I doubt my socks
were color coordinated when I strode into the convenience store ta git
me mornin' dose of the good stuff an' a donut.

An' there on the counter is sign sayin' "No Coffee"

*shudders*

There was other words... above an' below the "No Coffee" part

but it was the "No Coffee" part that somehow seemed to cut through the
haze a little bit   deeper than the rest...

I think I actually Pondered just exactly what that meant..."No Coffee"

I got the donut and it dawned on me that I was suprised by the fact that
I wasn't suprised at all... runnin' late, out of coffee,,, One of Those
Days, ya know *laughs*

So off I go fully expectin' ta find a couple of bozos parked out in the
van pit *shrugs* I mean, tha's next on the list, right?  An' I'm walkin'
through the parking lot of T.U. towards the alley, an' this red car
thing rolls up past me on the right towards the van pit. *laughs*

Eunice drives a red car thingy.

An' I've asked her, Very Politely, ta Not do that

An' then I like Yelled at her when she kept doin' it.

An' then I got Pissed 'cause she kept doin' it an' Really Yelled at her
an' let a lot of people for a long ways around me know just Exactly what
I thought about illiterate bozos that can't git it through their fucking
head that No Parking really means No Parking to Them Too.

So this red car thing is nosing past me, an' there's this hooded figure
inside, drivin', an' I'm gittin' amped up so I can git pissed at this
bozo

An' then this car swings in front of me.

*laughs*

This was Not according to plan. *giggles*

The car was Supposed to go into the van pit and park there, and then I
was going to have to go and give the driver of said vehicle a verbal
lashing they would (hopefully) Never forget.

but Nope.  turns Right in front of me and stops...

Now I'm thinkin' Eunice an' Rudy an' Heather are gonna hop outta the car
an' mow me down with machine guns in some Mexican Maffia gangland turf
ritual right there in the T.U. parking lot *giggles*

When that doesn't happen it starts ta dawn on me decaffeinated little
mind that this isn't normal.  The parking lot is totally empty, there's
a Lot of places this car could be other than right in front of Me.  This
is not an Ordinary event... which places it in the realms of
Extraordinary... an' I hadn't even clocked in yet! *Laughs!*

So I looked at the driver...

An' the hooded figure turned and a pair of incredibly enchanting eyes
smiled at me

*dreamy*

I think I did something really clever like fall ta my knees in awe but
in My Mind I was just kneeling down to be at eye level with her *grin*

she said Hi

*swoons*

No doubts about it, this was Not a Normal day *giggles*

She chit chatted with me fer a bit, and then smiled and said Bye and
went on her way...

*dreamy*

After that Work was a breeze *laughs*

I gotta go
Torbjon
 

 Subject:
        lazyFryday
   Date:
        Fri, 21 May 1999 19:12:28 -0800

So, a couple o' days ago me driver asks me if I got a slot fer a dry van
*shrugs*

Seein' how we are both standin' Right There, I turn me head and Look...
and sure enough, I got room fer one more van.

So I turn back an' look at me driver, an' in me most professional tone I
tells him "Uh, Yep"

To wit he replies "Good, yer gittin' one"

*laughs*

sure, fine, whatever...

Mere moments later Another driver swings in and dumps this van off inta
my pit and is Gone again, lickety-split.

I had Just enough time ta mumble "er, um," before he split... the
remainder of the "er, um" was left unmumbled, but would have ended up
being something like "hey, it's kinda low, lemme stick a couple more
dock planks under the chassis, willya?"

But seein' how I was completely out of the loop so far I didn't see any
reason ta fuss over it, ya know?  THEY know what they are doing *laughs*

So, the next day the Mighty Whitey is pokin' his nose around in me van
pit, so I asks him all friendly like "Whaddya Doin?"

To wit me Fearless Leader replied "Aaah, you got a dry van back here?"
*giggles*

At the time I had two of 'em, so I went inta me little sales pitch
mode;  "As a matter of fact good sir you are in luck for I have not one,
but Two dry vans." *smirk*

Tha' threw him fer a bit an' he did that little head snap thing as he
focused on Me enstead of lookin' at alla the vans in the pit like a lost
chicken, but before he could say "Ummm" I babbled on;  "We got this
nifty little number here which I was planning on throwing some broken
pallets into, OR, over here behind ramp number two we have this lovely
piece of shit that just showed up outta the blue"

"Tha's probably the one" sez he an' strolls off *shrugs*

Later that same day Jim, remember Jim? Ya, he's the Can Van Man, Jim
shows up with a pallet of stuff... plastic buckets or somesuch, an' sure
enough asks me about the 'dry van' *laughs* An' Me, bein' about as
informed as a rock, figger it's probably the one tha' Whitey said was
probably the one, so I say ta Jim "it's probably That One"  an' point at
the one tha's sittin' about a mile below the van dock *sigh*

Jim, totally nonplused by the 45 degree angle of the ramp, drives inta
the van drops his load off, an' drives back out again... which, I guess
after maneuvering around the craters in the ally doin' the Evil Kenivel
thing into a van just wasn't all that exciting, I dunno *shurgs*

So I'm doin' other things an' totally outta the loop on this little
project, the day ends, I go home.

Turns out I got the next day off *dreamy*

So, TODAY, I go in, we're boxin' up herring again only this time we're
getting ready for a tramper (big boat) enstead of putting them into
vans, so the boxes go back into the freezer.  So I've been sittin' on
the goat in the fridge for about three hours when Ted, the boss van, guy
calls me up an' asks "So, what about That dry van?" *bursts out
laughing!!*

An' ME, bein' a highly Responsible an' incredibly Clever dude, replied
"I dunno, I'll get back to you on that" *giggles*

So I called Marva, remember Marva? ya, she's the chick tha' paints on
her clothes, so I called Marva an' said "So, what about this dry van?"
*laughs*

An' of course, I was Promptly rewarded with a Profanely Professional
"Gee, I dunno, I'll get back to on that" *Laughs!*

Then Another office chick actually Comes Down to the van pit an'
actually Looks at the stuff in the van *grin*

Lunch did not come early enough.

After lunch I'm thinkin' cool, groovy, They got it figured out, the Dry
Van Dilemma is over, an' the Goat (my forklift) an' I are carrying on a
rather extensive conversation with a pallet of some very interesting
bait in holding four when Mr. B walks in from holding five.

He stops an' looks around a bit suspicious like, like he thought tha'
maybe there was somebody else in the fridge with us *shrugs* I dunno...

An' then he looks at ME an' sez "So, what about this dry van?" *Bursts
out Laughing!*

he's the freeekin' Boss fer chrissakes, doesn't ANYBODY know wha's goin'
on??

*shrugs*

So I told him

I told him the Whole Story

While standing in the freezer *smirk*

He was not dressed for the occasion *laughs* but when I finally emerged
from the freezer this afternoon, the dry van was GONE

I gotta go
Torbjon

 Subject:
        lazytime
   Date:
        Sat, 22 May 1999 12:30:05 -0800
 

So, with the exception of some lyrics tha' I throw atcha from time ta
time the Lazies have pretty much been My words.

Out of context, misconstrued, misleading, warped, and more than a little
twisted, but still My words. *giggles*

So, in keeping with a Time Honored tradition, I'm gonna deviate from the
expected norm entirely an' throw somebody else's words atcha.

In context, faithfully transcribed, to the point, but still warped and
more than a little twisted. *grin*

    "There are around half a million words in the English language, but
a recent statistical study of telephone speech discovered that 96 per
cent of all conversation over the wires consists of just 737 different
words.
    We are talking more, and saying less.
    This retreat into stock phrases is a cause for real concern.  It is
not only dull and predictable, but could be warping our view of
reality.  Our window on the world is already restricted by the reducing
valve or our senses, and it gets even further circumscribed by
language.  Raw experience is difficult for us to deal with.  We need to
explain it to ourselves by sticking on labels or verbal symbols that
give it identity, clarity and definition.  The view at best is only
partial, but it becomes hopelessly blurred if we lack the words
necessary to do it any kind of justice.
    In Great Britain, those who have gone through a full sixteen years
of education up to first degree level, use perhaps 5000 words in
everyday speech and up to 10,000 when communicating more carefully in
writing.  And the membership of select bodies, such as the International
Society for Philosophic Enquiry, are said to have an average vocabulary
of 36,250 words.  But in the end, of course, words alone are not
enough.  During the last century, we added another 200,000 technical
terms to the English language, with arguable benefits to the clarity of
thought and expression.  What really matters is how words are used and
how meanings are assigned to them.
    None of us are born free.  To a large extent, our minds are made up
for us even in the womb by a tyranny exercised by some words that trick
us into thinking along certain lines.  Most European languages, for
instance, have adopted the strange habit of representing time in spatial
terms.  Things, we say, take a 'long' time or a 'short' time, which
encourages us to think of time in linear terms, a something made up of
distinct units which can be measured.  We end up, as a result, treating
time as a commodity which can be 'wasted' or 'saved'.  We allow our
armies to 'buy' time for embattled troops, and our television companies
to 'sell' time to eager advertisers.  And centuries of thinking in this
way has now made it very difficult for us to come to terms with time
which doesn't necessarily move in an orderly way, but mixes up our
artificial tenses and seems, on occasion, even to go "backwards".  Other
languages have managed to avoid this bias.  North American Hopi, for
example, never uses spatial metaphors for time or gets hung up with our
rigid linear interpretation and, as a result, exercises far fewer
prejudices.  The Hopi see time in terms of events rather than units,
describing the germination of a seed or the phases of the moon; and are
never surprised when things run in cycles, bringing time back to where
it started.  The Hopis also avoid our confusion with past and future, by
putting everything into an elaborate and subtle multiplication of the
present.  Where an Enlish-speaker might be content to comment "She
dances", Hopi have the choice of dozens of equally simple forms of words
which distinguish between the meanings; "I am told that she dances"; "I
know that she dances at this moment, even if I cannot see her doing so";
and "I remember that I see her dancing and presume that she does so
still".  And the beauty of this expanded present is that it includes the
possibility that her dance today might influence yesterday's success in
hunting or tomorrow's weather, without causing any Hopi philosophic
pain.
    There are real differences in language structure, which have a
strong influence on attitude and understanding.  "The limits of my
language," said the Austrian philosopher Ludwig Wittgenstein, "mean the
limits of my world."
    There are purely cultural differences which give Ifugao people in
the Philippines twenty separate terms for rice, or Bedouin access to
hundreds of Arabic words to describe the characteristics of camels.  But
beyond these, there are patterns of thought which accumulate around a
language and can give different cultures widely differing capacities for
dealing with reality.
    All languages, except perhaps artificial intertongues like
Esperanto, have their problems.  The fourth tone of "i" in Chinese has
eighty-four variations, which can change the meaning of a word in a
flash from "hiccough" to "lewd".  Inuit languages have single nouns with
as many as 252 inflections.  Chippewa uses 6000 complex verb forms.
English is comparatively simple, with only 283 irregular verbs, but we
who speak it are beset with problems of interpretation produced by our
us of the verb "to be".
    We say "the rose 'is' red".  And in that simple phrase we make
extraordinary and misleading assumptions about the world.  We give the
rose a static quality, which it does not possess.  We give it the
illusion of permanence, which it does not have.  We confuse its whole
identity by speaking in absolute terms, which make no allowance for the
fact that redness is not a reality, but a quality of reflected light
which looks different to anyone who happens to be colour-blind; and
ignores the fact that in the short time it took to describe the rose, it
had already begun to change..."

Lyall Watson
Beyond Supernature
1987
Reprinted without any permission whatsoever in a highly caffinated state
with the sudden realization that Solstice and Salmon are soon to be
here...and other, more devious reasons.

I gotta go
Torbjon

 Subject:
        lazyDemon
   Date:
        Mon, 24 May 1999 23:20:07 -0800
 

So we're still doin' this herring gig... 1000 pound totes come outta the
fridge, the bozos take the fish out an' repack 'em inta 50 pound boxes
an' Ta-Da, back ta me again.  Only this time they are going ta go into a
tramper (big boat) which ain't here yet, so the boxes git stashed in the
fridge where the totes used ta be *grin*

Alla this is goin' on upstairs, an' in theory totes go down in one
elevator, boxes come up in the other, an' the dude with the biggest
attitude gots the right away down the hallway connecting alla the funky
hidey holes.

Nice theory, too, woulda worked, had the attitude fer it an' Everything
*wink*  'Cept Raul would send boxes up Both elevators every now an' then
*laughs*

Ya, you guessed it, cluster fuck. Head on collision in Infrid Alley,
traffic backed up for miles, not a good day to be a commuter.

So we fell behind.

Lunch rolls around an' the fish house is pretty much outta totes, which
is Fine fer Them 'cause they are goin' ta lunch, only if We go ta lunch
then they'll Still be outta totes when they come back *sigh* Soooo, They
all split an' me an' Chappo an' Raul forgo creature comforts such as
substanence and sunshine and air dug more totes outta the fridge...

At least, tha' was the theory...

So I'm unstackin' the totes with a Namco an' stagin' 'em up, an' Chappo
is loadin' the one elevator with the electric pallet jack when I notice
he's havin' a rather indepth conversation with someone named Peece
Ovsheet, an' Me, havin' never met the guy, decided ta go an'
investigate.

An' there's Chappo cursin'  at the pallet jack. *giggles*

Havin' had a very simular conversation with a pallet of bait the other
day, I could dig the scene an' said in me most Freezer God like voice
'Whaddya Doin'??'

To wit he replied 'Turbo! eet broken! Fuckin' Peece of Sheet!'

I'm thinkin' it's just dead an' won't pull a load anymore, so I'm
tellin' him ta drop it, git it outta there, an' let's use the manual
jack...

'No No NO, it Broken, see?' an' he grabbed the handle ta show me...

and the electric pallet jack came to life and ripped itself outta his
hand an' came barrelin' down the hallway at Me, shoving 1257 pounds of
herring in front of it *laughs!*

the phrase "Oh Shit!" rang out in Perfect Stereo right then, it was
beautiful.  Chappo Leaped at the rapidly retreating pallet jack in a
valient attempt ta save my poor white ass from instant deformation.

Me, being a pessimistic old fart, decided that the fate of the parts of
my body below the waist was perhaps not in the best of hands, so I
Leaped outta the way

just as Chappo reached the jack an' gave the handle a good yank

jack an' tote spun violently to the side just as I landed an' *splat*
pinned me ta the wall *laughs*

so there I am, pinned between the front of a tote an the wall, with an
electric pallet jack tha' only goes Forward still drivin' the tote inta
me *giggles*

Chappo Freeks, thinkin' he just killed me, an' like any testosterone
bloated Freezer Rat doesn't Think (and like, turn the pallet jack OFF so
it quits drivin' inta me *laughs*) he Acts, an Leaps up on the tote,
wiggles between the tote an' the wall a bit, an' Shoves the whole bloody
mess back about a foot (into the other wall) an' I crawled out.

We drug the thing down to the shop, they couldn't find anything wrong
with it though... *shrugs* just a minor case of possesion *laughs*

I gotta go
Torbjon

 Subject:
        lazySTC
   Date:
        Thu, 27 May 1999 20:27:17 -0800

So, yesterday the game plan was ta box up herring an' stash it in
holding five... For those of you that ain't been in five in while, it's
the Big one downstairs that has six freeking blast fans in it that Howl
atcha and send out gale force winds.  Fer tha' reason it tends ta be
just a wee bit nippier in there than anywhere else in the fridge, an'
the thermometers in five are just the standard kind tha' don't measure
silly things like wind chill so no matter What tha' bloody thing Says it
is, it still 'feels' colder by about a gazzilion degrees *laughs*

An' since the game plan was for Me ta Sit in there on a hunk of metal I
lovingly call The Goat for eight hours pullin' out totes and stickin'
boxes back in, I, of course, dressed accordingly. *laughs*

So I git inta work and Ta-Da, Change in plan, gonna pack out some other
kinds of fish and there I am, throwing boxes and stackin' pallets and
Melting *giggles*

SO, todays game plan was ta throw boxes inta vans and stack pallets and
so forth, and ME, being a clever little boy, dressed accordingly
*LAUGHS*

I show up ta work an' Ta Da, change in plans, and there I am sittin' in
five pullin' out totes and stashing boxes *grins*

Okay, tha's life, *shrugs* no problem.

Only I didn't stack these totes we're pullin' out.

E stacked them.

Remember E? From Philly?  who's so silly on his green Mitsi, he hee hee?

Ya, Him.

E failed blocks as a child and never mastered the skill as an adult,
either *sigh*

Blocks.

Pretty basic toy.

You'd think EVERY KID in the WORLD woulda stacked some kind of toy
blocks at least ONCE in his/her life ya know?

Not E though...

So, while I was gone on leave somebody let E loose with a forklift and
some 1000 pound blocks to play with *giggles* and I was the Lucky
schmuck that got to pull 'em out again...

1000 pound totes, stacked four high

By a guy that failed blocks...

Watching a four stack of totes come crashing down on you in super slow
motion and realizing that death by herring is a Direct ticket to Hell is
Not my idea of a groovy day *laughs*

Subject to Change  *laughs* you'd think I'd Know that by now! *grin*

I gotta go
Torbjon
 

So most of you by now know the shitty parts by heart; the bozos, the
harsh working conditions, broken tools, island life, yadda yadda yadda

but there Is groovy shit too, sometimes... it's Rare, but it's there
*laughs*

Like Ron, he's groovy.  Ron's one of me truck drivers.  He's the man
that takes me vans away and brings me empty ones ta fill up again.  Ron
don't work fer Icicle Seafoods like I do, he works fer another company
called AML (alaska marine lines--Arrowhead Transfer... whatever)

Icicle does seafood

AML does vans *shurgs*

So Ron shows up this mornin' ta give me my first turn of the day, an'
outta the blue gives me a half dozen donuts *laughs* no reason
whatsoever, just Because. *shrugs* so I shared 'em with the crew.
Groovy.

Kahulu was me trusty assistant today, an' tha' was anther groovy thing.
He also brought a lot of cool music with him *grin*  an' even though I
keep a Big Bag o' Tapes at work, I've heard the bloody things a billion
times already, so 'new' music was Way Groovy.

Chappo came ta help us after a while.  He didn't HAVE to, after all,
he's CHAPPO *giggles*  Tons of projects he coulda worked on, but 'Chappo
wanna load vans with Turbo, ees okay?' *grins*  an' considerin' just how
backed up I was getting right then that was more than Groovy, that was
You Bet Bub, git yer butt in there an' throw boxes. *laughs*

Then Jim shows up havin' just finished with the mornin' dose of Stress
Fish right at the same time as Mr. B shows up ta have a meetin' an'
assign me another project.

This was Karmicly Groovy, 'cause whereas Chappo an' Kahullu are Cool,
Jim is Cool AND Clued In *giggles* an' all I had ta do was hand 'im the
clipboard an' say '55 ta the end' and that was that, now I could focus
fully on the fatman in blue, and not stress over what the freeks in the
van were doing.

Turns out nobody is too sure of the gross weight of the kelp... Remember
the Kelp?  Herring eggs on kelp, ya, THAT stuff that has ta be kept at a
different temperature than our freezer so it's in a van an' I'd have ta
go in at ohwaydarkhundred ta pull totes of the stuff outta the van so a
couple more bozos could come in at ohdarkhundred an' set the totes up,
so Katie and her crew could cut kelp at eight o'clock *chuckles*

So I weighed the bloody things, an' went an' told Marva... remember
Marva? ...anyway  told her what I discovered in the van an' what we were
doin' with the herring, an' what was up with this King thing anyway? an'
so on, Knowing that things were cool back on the dock 'till at least the
end of that van 'cause Jim was there, so That was Groovy too.

After lunch Mr. B comes back again an' enstead of wandering around in my
blind spot he parks his butt next ta a pole outta the way an' watches
the action.  Groovy point  right there just for stayin' outta the
way*laughs*

At this point in time the action was pretty good 'cause I already Had a
van load of boxes just Sitting there on the van dock... and in the
packing room,,, and some in the fridge too... *laughs* AND they were
still coming from the fish house. *grin*

We did the whole van in 45 minutes.

Mr. B watched the middle 15 minutes worth or so, an' then disappeared.

He showed up again near the end of the van with a six pack o' bottled
water fer the boys, and ya, it wasn't beer or bourbon, but it wasn't
bad, ya know? *giggles*

So groovy things Do happen.  Bozos Can be cool. *laughs* Hell, Jim an' I
were sittin' in front of the convenience store the other day and a Fish
fell from the sky! *laughs*

anything could happen next...