Subject:
        lazyline
   Date:
        Mon, 01 Mar 1999 16:56:06 -0800
 
 

So when does it Really End? hmmm?

I mean, Last Monday the fishermen had ta have their crab pots outta the
water...

Last Friday they finished butcherin' the little buggers...

Today Sergio finished packin' 'em out...

ME?

*sigh*

I'm far from finished... the fridge is still full.

Full of funky flavors... like, Hanwa Raw Brine (say that three times
fast, *giggles* oh go on, it makes yer lips all rubbery an' sounds silly
ta boot *wink*)

Ya know, when I took this job I figured it'd be pretty brainless, ya
know?  I mean, Fish... Factory... high school dropout on smack could
handle that, right?  An', fer the most part, you Can be pretty brainless
ta do production work, in fact, it's an asset *grin*  Besides, if ya
weren't brain dead goin' inta the slimeline, you Will be comin' outta
the bloody thing *giggles*

But if ya want ta git anything Done, if ya wanna be something a bit more
than jus' a cog in a machine, then ya needs some smarts.

And it ain't computer skills or math skills, or business or marketing or
any of that crap;  it's linguistics.... 'cause no two people here talk
the same.

Fer example, the concept "Torb, may I have a moment of your time?" as
expressed by;

Chappo;  Turbo!! Me need you to come here

Jamilla;  Heya, Tobe?

Kwan;  Toby!  You gotta second?

Suzuki;  Ahh, Toe, excuse pwease?

Bubba;  Hey Man, gotta minute?

Raul;  Meester Jeensin, kahn you help me for a minute?

and so on. *laughs*

Stickin' the boxes in the van, no problem...

Tryin' ta figure out what the hell everybody is sayin' ta me...Sheesh!!

Like the other day, the Nippo guy comes up ta me an' says  " ahhh,
ohhhh, heee hee heee, SahmPoles, Sirty, ahhh?"

You want thirty samples in your van?

"OH, Thurry thurry thurry  Sahmpoles, plahn?"

You want to try and take thirty samples on the plane?

"huh? ahhh, ohhh, no no, surry surry, so surry"

Oh, yer Sorry *laughs* I git it now...

"plahn soon, sahmpoles?"

In other words ya want the silly white boy ta git offa his butt an' dig
out some samples so you can have a little snack on the plane, is that
it?

"ya ya, sahmpoles pleace, plahn soon"

So I got him a couple of boxes ta take home with him and he split all
grins and giggles *shrugs*

and You thought all I did was load vans *laughs*

I gotta go
Torbjon

 Subject:
        lazymorning
   Date:
        Tue, 02 Mar 1999 07:28:15 -0800
 

wow

*yawn*

*sip*

Fifteen letters in me ebox this morn *giggles*

Two from me senator.

One piece o' junk mail,

A mail daemon tellin' me I flooded both mark and marivics mail box,

An' eleven from you folks about the lazyline thingy *laughs*

And whereas other subjects have generated More replies, none have
generated this volume this quickly...  What? is there nothing on teevee
on Monday nights anymore?? *giggles*

*sip*

So, for the first time since this whole crabbie thing started, I git ta
go in at 0800 enstead of 0600 (or earlier) this morn' *Grin*

As you may recall, I hate mornings... or rather I hate gittin' up in the
morning and going to work... gittin' up in the morn' and lounging around
the house 'till noon, *shrug* tha's okay.  Spending the morning taking
multiple catnaps till noon is also exceptable... Starting the day off
sippin' a Pot of coffee, little Morcheeba in the stereo, and a really
good video game ain't too shabby either *grin*

Opening my eyes and being assaulted by the thought that Big Dave is
going to be my charming assistant again today...*shudders*  Well, you
can see why I over sleep so much *laughs*

Dave isn't tall.

He is, however, Big.

So Big that I gotta park the pallet o' boxes a few feet farther back
from the wall of boxes we're stackin' than normal, jus' so he can fit in
there to work *sigh*

Which means I gotta take an extra step to grab a box offa the pallet,
then take that extra step back again ta stack the box in the van...step,
box, step, stack, step, box, step, stack........

dispite this, I'm still stackin' two boxes ta his one.

*sigh*

At a little over 1600 cases in a van, well, tha's a lotta extra steps
yers truly has gotta take tha' weren't there before *laughs*

an' this is considered 'help' *giggles* ya  ya, sure, the van gits
loaded a third faster than before, *shrugs* an' tha's a groovy thing fer
the company and alla that...

But addin' a couple o' miles ta my day jus' don't seem like much Help ta
ME, ya know? *Bursts out Laughing*

Oh well

I gotta go
Torbjon

 Subject:
        lazybulliten
   Date:
        Fri, 05 Mar 1999 12:44:13 -0800
 

So it's as official as it gits 'cause They like, posted it on the wall;

Tom Westhoff, formally of Tom Westhoffs Stress Fish Imporium

And

UnAble, husband of She Who Is Too Lame To Have A Stoopid Nickname

Will Co-Supervise the PFI Cold Storage Facility

*BURSTS OUT LAUGHING!!!*

So Tom AND Abel are gonna be me boss *snickers*

This is gonna be one funky year

he hee heeee

I gotta go
Torbjon

 Subject:
        lazyfriday
   Date:
        Fri, 05 Mar 1999 18:41:55 -0800

Last couple of days I've had Tim an' Dave helpin' me...

So even with that freekin' Chaos Monkey slurppin down the double
esspressos an' bouncein' offa the walls we Still gotta bunch o' stuff
done today *laughs*

An' poor Dave (Dough Boy) tryin' ta keep up with an amped up Tim *grins*
what a riot.

I AM glad they gave me some help...

And whereas I poke fun at Big Dave I'm glad he scored on some quality
van dock time, did him a World of good ta feel 'needed', ya know?
...playin' with the big kids and doing 'important' stuff *giggles*

An' since I'm in the thumbs up mode, Major points ta Marva (Office
Chick) fer all the fabulous paper pushin' an' number scrunchin an'
stuff, 'cause folks, you don't want to even Know how picky the Japanese
buyers are *laughs*

*shudders*

She can tell you the number of pieces of crab in any particular van...

not just poundage..

not just the number of boxes...

but how many little pieces of crab there are *faints*

an' tha's just ONE of a billion bits of seemingly worthless information
passing through her desk onna daily basis *laughs*

I'll stick with throwin' boxes, thanks *giggles* MUCH easier
 
 

So, Mr. B is chattin' with me, goin' over numbers, askin' me what we got
an' how's it all gonna fit and important number stuff  like things and
all,

An' me bein' this Almighty van dock god that I am don't have a clue, so
I says "I dunno, let's Look"

So off we go inta the freezer, an' I'm pointin' at piles sayin' clever
things like "Um, about two vans fer them, ahhh, little over a van fer
them, and, ummmm, 'bout two thirds a van fer them, give 'r take"
*shrugs*

He gits this far away look that I seen chickens get on a hot day, or
some guy tryin' ta buy some antique from me an' not wantin' ta believe
alla them zeros on the price tag are fer real an' a I Ain't backin' off
an inch no matter What *laughs*

That, I Don't Believe It look, ya know?

So we exit the freezers an' I go back ta van loadin' type stuff an he
goes over ta what passes fer me office an' starts playin' with the
calculater there...

An' of course since Mr. B was hanging out the Chaos Monkey vanished so
Big Dave an' I was in the van throwin' boxes..

And we threw some more...

And a few more pallets of crabbies went bye bye...

And then there's Mr. B again!

"Well, you were right" says he

an' he rattles offa a list of numbers... um *ponders* 1.8 , 1.2, um,,,
.72 I think *shrugs* something like that...
 
 

So, what do I do??

*laughs*

I get that far away look chickens git on a hot day, and said " um, okay,
ya, that sounds about right"

*giggles*

I gotta go
Torbjon

 Subject:
        lazysunday
   Date:
        Sun, 07 Mar 1999 11:05:46 -0800

mmph

*sip*

So I had ta work some yesterday... catch up on some van loading...

That makes Today my 'weekend' *shrugs*

Which, I must admit, is better than NO weekend at all, sorta...

One day off is Just enough time ta realize ya need about a week off
*laughs*

What's with that, anyway?

I mean, I kin hand stack 40,000 pounds of product before lunch No
Problem *shurgs*

But do the dishes?  *eyes the sink suspiciously*  Fergit It *laughs*
THAT'S gonna take a month of sundays an' high pressure hoses more
powerful than the ones we got at work *snicker*

Rip the guts out of a still twitchin' fish?

No Problem.

Take out the Trash???

Fergit it...

Spend some Hours in a twisted fucked up position doin' gods knows what
kinda damage ta me nerves an' brain while crawlin' around in the
freezers?

Every week...

Spend some hours in a twisted fucked up position in the muck and mire
under me trailer tryin' ta fix me still leaky drains???

Not a prayer *laughs*

Oh well.

It's Still Snowing here, in case you may have been wondering...

So, Tanner Crab is over even though I'm STILL cleaning up from That
particular little war, and Brown King Crab is going on, so even though
I'm pullin' little crabbie carcasses outta the fridge, they are still
puttin' more in there.... And then there's the quarter million pounds of
dark chum salmon left over from last season that They would like shipped
out Now *giggles*

An' let's not fergit the Bait *poke*

Gotta have Bait.  For without Bait there would be no little crabbies or
sable fish fer me ta play with, ya know? *laughs*

Ya know, with the exception of gittin' a day off here and there, an' the
No Overtime rule, an' the Snow (can't fergit the snow *grins*) it feels
a LOT like Summer already *Laughs!!*

On an UP note, I got me plane tickets the other day *smirks*

Two weeks R&R down south, last week of April, first week of May

he hee heeeee

I gotta go
Torbjon

 Subject:
        lazyPower
   Date:
        Mon, 08 Mar 1999 19:41:19 -0800
 

Oh where to begin *giggles*

Duh, silly me, Morcheeba First, right? *laughs*

So did I mention that it's been snowing?

Yep.  White fluffy stuff from the sky right onto the ground *sigh*

I opened me door this morn' only ta find that the 'ground' was about 18
inches higer than the floor of me house *laughs*

'Course, soon as ya take a step in it ya sink up ta yer knees *giggles*
and the white stuff scrunches up yer levis and then down inta yer socks
*laughs* GREAT way ta start the day *shrugs*

So I gits ta work an' the first thing I notice is that the snow plow guy
has up and plowed me No Parking signs right into the ocean *Bursts out
Laughing!!*  God forbid ya should ever drop dead in front of this guy...
suspicious bump in the snow?  Screw It!  Plow it into the ocean!
*giggles*

So he'll plow me signs inta the ocean, but he won't git closer than like
Four Bloody Feet from me vans *sigh*  That leaves a Lot o' snow ta
shovel...

Fortunately Denny Senior came by in the little payloader thingy and
plowed the four feet o' snow, me ladder, and a couple of dock planks
right outta me way and inta the ocean *laughs*

An' he's one of Ours *poke*

So, have a little meetin' with Mr. B, do a little van loading, get ready
fer drivers and (Hopefully) instructions from Seattle on what ta do with
the last of the Tanner crabbies, I head up ta the office ta check with
Marva on some papers and what not...

I'm sittin' there

Melting

An' from across the room Lori says to me "I know your deepest darkest
secrets"

Now, keep in mind I'm dressed fer freezers and other inhospital
environments like knee deep snow and so forth, we're talkin' Multiple
layers of wool and gortex here *giggles*

An' also keep in mind tha' I been sittin' there fer like ten minutes,
defrosting...

And where as I'M dressed fer frozen follies, Marva and Lori are sittin'
at there desks wearing short sleeve teeshirts an' sayin' things like
"gee it's warm in here" and so on...

So, in me most professional and dignified manner, I reply "Huh?"

To wit she goes on about how she's been readin' the dribble I put out
an' thus 'knows' more about me than I do her...*shrugs*

Which is True... Maybe *smirks*

By this time I had gone beyond Broil, however, an' needed ta split for
cooler climes.

Hit the van dock jus' as me driver was showing up with me van, touched
bases with him, set up me van and got it runnin',  bumped inta Big Dave
who was scheduled ta be my Charming Assistant starting after break,
noticed that it was indeed Break time so I went and got coffee he hee
heee

By then I had chilled down enough for another stint in the office so
back I went to retrive the papers I couldn't quite get before *giggles*

So, I round the corner onta the van dock, papers in me hands, it's no
more than five minutes after the end of break time, an' what do I see??

Big Dave openin' up me van and droppin' the ramp like he was Told To

An' Mr. B standin' behind him like he Told him to.

*sigh*

An' that Frosted me *shrugs*

Goin' on me sixth season on the van dock, you'd think I know what I was
doin' ya know?

So I went off on both of 'em *laughs*

I went off on Big Dave fer listenin' ta Mr. B

An' I went off on Mr. B fer tellin' Big Dave ta load a van that niether
one of 'em even knew WORKED or not *laughs* I mean, sheesh, we just had
one Die a couple days ago, remember?? *poke*
 

I still had a job when I punched out, soooo, *shrugs* I must notta been
as Frosted as I thought *laughs*

Then again, maybe Mr. B is finally gittin used ta me rantin' and
slobberin' like a lunatic whilest wavin' busted pallet boards around in
a careless, derranged manner *shrugs* I dunno.

I gotta go
Torbjon
 

 Subject:
        lazyhurry
   Date:
        Tue, 09 Mar 1999 12:31:40 -0800

So, I go in at 0600 this morn' 'cause the best answer I could git outta
me van drivers was that the barge was 'sometime this morning, maybe
eleven' an' since I Promised and Swore Blind that I could git these vans
on that barge an' They wouldn't let us stay late last night an' do it,
seemed ta me the only alternative was ta come in Early an' finish up,
right?

So Big Dave an' I are huckin' 25 pound boxes before sunrise.

*shrugs*

No biggy, it's mellow, no bosses around yet, no forklift traffic, a
little NPR on the radio, some nice light boxes ta throw... nice.

Only we ran outta the 25 pound boxes.

*sigh*

Which meant fillin' the rest of the van up with 100 pound boxes.

*shudders*

Now, just 'cause it's a 100 pound box tha' don't necassarily mean tha'
there's a 100 pounds of crabbies in there, oh no.  The bloody things can
weigh as little as 60 pounds, or as much as 110 pounds... no two are the
same.

*sigh*

Ya know, there is something to be said fer Even Wieght Packaging, ya
know?  All kinds of Cool things, like, they all weigh the same *laughs*
an' they all tally up the same, an' when ya go ta yank one offa the
pallet you KNOW exactly how hard ta yank without first lookin' at the
bloody thing, an' other cool things like that there....

So, we're stackin' these miserable teevee sized boxes in the van there,
an' I go ta grab a box, I yank on the bloody thing, an' sure as shit it
only weighs 60 pounds

Needless ta say, it flew outta me hands an' crashed onta the floor of
the van *giggles*

An' me, in me Most Proffessional Voice, reply ta said box thusly:  "YA
WORTHLESS PIECE OF FUCKING SHIT!!!! I HATE THESE GODDAMMED BOXES!!!"

Of course, Big Dave found that all rather amusing and chose that moment
ta giggle at me *laughs* which did Nothing fer me mood, soooo, I grabbed
another box and yanked...

Only this time the bloody thing weighed over a 100 pounds, an' me still
being a bit gun shy, I didn't yank Nearly hard enough, the result bein'
that the freekin' box only slid about half way offa the pallet before
slippin' through me fingers.

Tha's when our ever faithful friend Mr. Gravity came ta lend a helplin'
hand an the box slipped offa the pallet and came crashin' down on me
foot! *laughs*

So in my most business like tone I says to said box;  "YOU COCK SUCKING
BASTARD!!!!"

It was at about this time tha' I first noticed that We Are Not Alone
*laughs*

There on the van dock, watchin' me kill meself, is Capn' Chaos and Mr.
Wilson both, smilin' like there's no tomorrow *giggles*

So I whirl around with the 'whaddya want' look

To which Cap'n Chaos hands over a big assed bag of donuts and backs way
off *giggles*

Despite bein' a Chaos Junkie, Tim's okay.

Mr. Wilson almost falls over givin' me some 'elbow room' *Bursts out
laughing!!*  then, in a nice sugary polite voice says somthin' like "
Gee, I can see you are busy, just a quick question and then I'll leave
you alone..."

*giggles*

Now, THAT'S the way bosses should treatcha... 'gee, I'm REALLY SORRY to
bother you, but here's some donuts, now I won't bother you anymore'
*laughs*

After that things went pretty smoothly.  Big Dave an' I finished up the
van, had a donut break, touched bases with me driver and Marva, an' then
since all the boss type folks were in a meeting I made the executive
decission ta call it a day *grin*

Last thing me driver said ta me was that the barge is gonna be a bit
late today an' we had till this afternoon ta finish the van *laughs*

I gotta go
Torbjon
 
 

 Subject:
        lazyFryday
   Date:
        Fri, 12 Mar 1999 22:03:31 -0800
 

What a weird day
*sigh*

Where to begin?

*laughs*

Well, it began with a little Johnny Cash...old stuff, Sun recordings.

Then we had some Beattles, Sgt. Pepper *laughs*

Followed closely by the Doors and some Jefferson Airplane in rapid
succession...

A little Jimi, some Cream

Lemon Pipers

And the Vogues at Five O'Clock *laughs*

Ya...

One of Those days *grin*

So we won't even go into the madness that was the van dock today, and
enstead we shall address another issue.

And that would be nicknames.

I was asked today, in all sincerity, WHY I gave Mr. Bs nickname of "
Cap'n Chaos " to Tim.

This Litterally threw a spanner in the works, 'cause I didn't have a
clue *laughs* an' you KNOW how it is when ya git a question like that;
it leaves ya feelin' like ya left yer keys in yer other pants when yer
Really standing there Holding the bloody things,  ya know?

Where are my keys?

*giggles*

So I pondered it

And it dawned on me that I didn't KNOW that Mr. B had been called Cap'n
Chaos in the past.

Ya see, it started Way Back When when Cap'n Herbal Life was me boss....
remember them days?

Well, when Cap'n Herbal Life quit and split this scene,  Tim came over
ta be my boss...

Only Tim was No Cap'n Herbal Life.

One day Tim was bouncin' around Amped on chocolate covered coffee beans
an' I called 'im a Chaos Junkie *shrugs*

An' he LIKED it!! *laughs* an' at That moment, in MY pointy little
brain, "Cap'n Chaos" was born *shrugs*

But that wasn't enough.

So I pondered more...

And the issue of 'coolness' crossed my mind...

Ya gotta be More than jus' a Bozo ta git a silly nickname.

Ya gotta be a Cool Bozo.

An' let's face it, Mr. B just ain't COOL, ya know?

Oh, he's a Bozo, *laughs* he's got that bit down pat...

but the Cool part?  uh-uh, not happenin' *shrugs*

Someday, Maybe...

but not today.

So in my little fantasy world Tim will remain Cap'n Chaos, an' Mike is
Cap'n Flashback, an' Chappo is Munchkin Man, *shrugs*

It may not be a Perfect System...

but it works.

And who knows?  when Tom shows up maybe he'll git tagged with Sargent
Stoner and his Outstanding Underling Unable *wink*

an' we can turn fresh fish into Mr. Stitts an' his Slimey Salmon Shoppe
*snickers*

Scary Gary needs no introduction

An' of course Bait Boys Bar and Grill never closes *laughs*

God only knows what they call that bozoboy back on the van dock, but I
think somebody better check his blood sugars *grin*

I gotta go
Torbjon

 Subject:
        lazymemory
   Date:
        Sat, 13 Mar 1999 22:31:18 -0800

So it's me day off today...

No really, go look, there's a blue moon out there *giggles*

So I do what Any red blooded American bozoboy would do on his day off:
I Sleep 'till it hurts *laughs*

Now, I don't know 'bout the rest of ya, but if I sleep much past 0600 I
start gittin' them "Wake Up! Yer Late!!" dreams an' I snap awake with
that Oh Shit! feelin' whilst scramblin' around lookin' fer me boots
*grins*  but then the 'waitaminit, it's Saturday' awareness hits me and
I Swear it's better than heroine *wink* the bed's still warm an' yummy
an' it don't matter none What the clock says an' before ya know it
BAMF!, fast asleep again, anxiously awaitin' yet Another bout of
Freudian psycho babble ta befuddle me brain *giggles*

So a dozen Oh Shits later I FINALLY got up *laughs*

And not because I Wanted to, oh no *grins* I'd STILL be asleep if I had
me druthers.

but the phone rang

an' there was somebody yellin' on me answering machine *sighs*

an' the clock laughed at me an' said 'it's one thirty you nut case, git
up already'

So I got up *shrugs*

And where as me draggin' me sorry butt outta bed may not be a biggy to
You, it Was a rather monumental feet fer Me *giggles*

Thus the day began

Only unlike other days off where I sit around lookin' at the dishes and
laundry and what not thinkin' things like "ya know, I really should take
care of that" while playing some video game or playing with the stereo,
on This particular day off I had a Project *grins*

A groovy Project I actually wanted to see completed

Ya see, the other day Cap'n Flashback gave me a couple of memory chips
ta install on me computer *grins*

An' with said chips he also gave me book full of destructions fer pc
dummies like me *giggles*

So I sat there sippin' me morning... um, afternoon coffee, flippin'
through the book, an' it's tellin' me No Sweat, you can do this, it's
Easy

An' ta further bolster me confidence I've Had some college science
classes and electronics classes an' what not an' I'm thinkin' Ya, I kin
do this...

Now in College, well, you know, there's Labs.

Labs with Big Tables and Lotsa Light

Full of funky tools and gizmos and gadgets...

an' Instructors *laughs*

I eyed me tool box.

There's a saw in it.

A very nice, shinny, crosscut saw *shrugs*

There's also a screwdriver in it, an' that happens ta be one of the
tools the book said I needed...

only it says I need a little dinky phillips head screwdriver an' this
one happens ta be great big rusted mangled bit of metal that at one time
was a flat head screwdriver *shrugs*

Well, it's not the Best toolbox in the world, but it is a start *laughs*

So then I look at the lights...

one bare 55 watt light bulb

Okay, so it's not quite the same as a bank of fifty fluorescent tubes,
still, it's better than a candle, right?

So then I look at the table...

And there isn't one.  I don't have a table... not even a little one.

There's no way in hell I'm gonna do this on the floor 'cause the floor
is like covered with Stuff, most of it laundry *laughs*

But it dawns on me that if alla the laundry is on the floor, then the
washin' machine is probably free of clutter, an' sure enough, it is.
*grins* In fact, the bloody thing is pretty dam clean an' I figger it'll
double as a table jus' fine

So, one pot of coffee later an' I'm rippin' alla the wires outta the
back of the computer an' luggin' the thing over ta the washin' machine.
That went So Well that I took a break *laughs*

Then I got me tools.

An' I'm lookin' at the saw...

An' I'm lookin' at the twisted hunk of metal...

An' I'm thinkin', ya, sure, I kin get that box apart with these tools,
No Problem... *bursts out laughing* but no way in hell will I ever git
it back together again *smirks*

So I go pokin' around the house lookin' fer some more tools an' I
stumble across me Gerber Tool... tha's one of those multitool gizmos
tha's got pliers and scissors and knives an' stuff all rolled up inta
one unit

And whilst I'm playin' with me Gerber I suddenly git this image of Slim
Pickins fixin' a bomb in the belly of bomber with a buck knife and a
pair of bull nosed pliers (Dr. Strangelove) an' I just sorta loose it
*giggles*

I'm about ta go ta work on a thousand dollar hunk of junk with a
multipurpose Gerber tool *bursts out laughing*

So, singing 'Johny came marching home today, Hurrah! Hurrah!' at the top
of me lungs I Rip the case offa the tower 'cause there's No Way in Hell
I'm gonna let some Commie  have more memory than Me he hee heee

The tower came apart easy enough... I think it was glad I didn't use the
saw, I dunno *shrugs*

but here my joyful demeanor ended 'cause inside the tower was a whole
buncha stuff not mentioned in the book

The Book has nice big circles and arrows and fancy captions and stuff
showin' ya what ta do...

The computer, however, has a gazzillion wires an' chips and funky
whatsits an' so forth an' is surprisingly void of circles and arrows and
there was not One fancy caption to be found Anywhere inside the thing
*sigh*

The other thing the book doesn't mention is that if you happen ta be one
of those bozos who actually Work fer a livin' an' has hands tha' can
crush coconuts that it is indeed possible ta shove the memory chips in
Backwards even With the idiot proof notch they put on 'em *laughs*

Despite alla this, I actually got the bloody thing back together again

On top of that, it even seems ta work! *Grins*

oh well
I gotta go
Torbjon

 Subject:
        lazyGRRRRR!
   Date:
        Mon, 15 Mar 1999 23:04:03 -0800

massive bloodcurdling Godzilla roar!!*

*giggles*

Ya, one of THOSE days *sigh*

Oh, it started off good enough...

Got up at 0600, had Tons of Time ta drink coffee an' wake up this morn'

The walk ta work was groovy, it was even sorta sunny *grin*

Clockin' in went pretty smoothly... no paper cuts or nuthin'...

Big Dave was me trusty sidekick today, and even THAT was pretty cool,
he's learnin' the ropes, really wants ta work, really wants ta do a good
job, is doin' More than just 'trying' , hell, if the boy gits his
drivers license back he'd be okay...  pain in the ass havin' an
assistant that can't drive a forklift, ya know? *sigh*

First couple o' hours weren't so bad...

Break rolls around an' I head off ta the quickimart ta git me morning
espresso an' donut an' me daily pack o' smokes...

An' there's a Ton of people in there *sigh*

No biggy...

An' the donut box is devoid of donuts *SIGH*

No Biggy...

An' I'm in line...

An' nobodies in any Real Hurry...

grrr

An' I'm Finally at the counter.

"Pack o' Winston an' an espresso, Please."

'The espresso machine is Broken'

I mean, she might as well have hit me up side the head with a baseball
bat an' yelled 'yer ass sucks canal water!!' in Swahili, ya know?

Because the concept of  No Espresso was Not sinking in as fast as it
coulda *laughs*

I was still tryin' ta get what few functioning brain cells I had to
except the idea that I did indeed hear her correctly when she adds, '
an' all we got is soft packs, is that okay?'

NO IT AIN'T FUCKING OKAY! I WANT MY GODDAMNED DONUT AND COFFEE
AND
CIGARETTES, WENCH!

"Um, yes, soft pack would be fine, thank you."

So feelin' incredibly Small and Helpless I returned ta work.

An' there's Mr. B waitin' fer me. *sigh*

There's still like THREE minutes left on me break an' he's glarin' at me
like I'm Late!

*shrugs*

I Glared Back

*Laughs*

OH YOU THINK YER SO HIGH AN' MIGHTY THEN WHY THE HELL WEREN'T THERE
ANY
DONUTS, HUH?

"Yes Sir, what kin I do fer ya?"

To wit he proceeds ta countermand just about alla the orders he gave me
prior ta break *laughs*  which I'm gittin used to, so it wasn't that
much of a biggy  *shrugs* but it gits OLD fast, ya know?

But one of the things he's rattling' off at me doesn't jive...

He's tellin' me to put Fresh Fish into 24 foot AMLU type vans...

This is every bit as stupid as the other day when he was tellin' MY
assistant ta load a busted van with king crabbies (a VERY spendy
product) like either one of 'em knew what they were doin'...

So I Very Politely correct him... 'you mean LTI, yes?'

Nope, he meant AMLU.

'huh..' says I

"We've done this Before" says he.

*shrug* yer the Boss.

'Um, okay...'

Now then, we haven't put any Fresh Fish in this type of van since I've
been on the van dock some five years now...

And me driver who'd been drivin' fer a Lot longer than that has no
memory of this type of activity taking place either...

But what do I know?

So I only call in the one LTI and I call in Two 24 foot AMLUs' fer Mr.
Bs' Fresh Fish *shrug*  Hey, mines not to question Why, right?

FINALLY lunch time rolls around an' I'm OUTTA there *shudders*  Been Too
Weird of a mornin' already, needed some space, some Real Coffee, and
some Very Loud Music...

On the way home I swing by the post office and gather up alla the mail
tha's piled up there, pick up a postage stamp, chat with Cap'n Chaos a
bit... then, Finally, I'm HOME for a bit.

Safe.

So I owe me folks a bit of money, an' every payday I've been tryin' ta
send them some, so I stuffed some money and a note in an envelope,
sealed it up, put the stamp on it, then started pawin' through the
mountain o' junk mail I got...

An' I notice a Letter from the utility company.

Normally the utility company sends this little card thingy.

But this was a letter.

Not good. *sigh*

So I open it, read it, an' Lost it.

I owe 'em three hundred bucks, an' if I don't pay it by the end of the
week they is gonna shut me off.  In the dead of Winter.  An' as if that
ain't enough, they go on ta say that After they shut me off they is
gonna charge me a couple of body parts ta get the bloody services turned
back on again...

GRRRRRRR

Bad enough that They got a Monopoly on power and water and garbage, it's
not like ya can say 'FINE, screw you' ... they got ya an' they know it.

But tha' ain't what frosted me at the time.

No.  What frosted me is my History with these folks.  See,  fer the past
few years now I've ALWAYS let me bill git up ta four or five hundred
bucks, then I go an' give 'em one of my paychecks *shrugs*  A 'normal'
little paycheck fer me is like 600 bucks, an' a nice summer Salmon check
can run upwards ta two grand, so, when I give 'em one of my checks it
works out that They end up owing ME money, ya see?  The short of it
being that those little cards they send me ain't a bill most of the time
but a statement saying " WE OWE YOU THIS MUCH STUFF"

Last summer they owed me 900 bucks worth of stuff.

Before I went on holiday  they owed me 300 bucks worth of stuff.

Keep in mind I never Once sent 'em a nasty letter sayin' I was gonna
Glaze their sorry asses for not paying me the interest Due me, ya know?
*laughs*

So I owe them 300 bucks now an' they are tellin' me they is gonna turn
off my heat and water an' stuff an' let me die.

As if I can't twist a truck tire inta a figure eight with me bare hands
*Bursts out Laughing!!*

So I tore open the envelope I had Just sealed up an' took the money
outta it that I was Gonna send to my folks, I ripped open the cookie jar
an' grabbed alla me cigarette money, pulled alla the money outta me
wallet, an' then got me Mad money an' added THAT to the pile, too.
*sigh*

Pitiful small pile.

I took out the bare assed Minimum I'd need ta just Survive the next
couple o' weeks till payday, grabbed the rest and Stormed down ta the
uttility company alla the time grumbling  ' you assholes got no problem
owing ME 300 bucks you sadistic fascist pigs ' an' other such soothing
thoughts...

An' I go into the utility company, and Very Politely apologize for being
such a looser and low life and how Dreadfully sorry I was for ever being
born and if you could just find it in your heart not to kill me I'd be
Eternally Grateful and would Gladly clean your kitty litter box with my
tongue. *laughs*

To wit she snatched up what money I did bring and then scribbled a note
to herself an' told Me she'd call over to the power company and let them
know I had every intention of paying my bill...

*sigh*

See if I ever give Them an interest free loan again, the pricks.

So lunch was less than relaxfull and I was actually lookin' forward ta
gittin back ta work and the madness that passes fer normality around
here.

An' there's Mr. B AGAIN!!

WHAT IS WITH THIS BOZO????

In the four years Al was my boss on the van dock I saw Mr. B maybe ten
times TOTAL.  He Never hangs out back there...

I saw him a dozen times today alone.  In an eight hour day. *sigh*

This time it's Raw Russian Roe (remember that? the red raw russian roe
resides at the rear of the coho row *giggles*)

We have some left over from last year that the Russians never bought...

Now we Have to get rid of it, and somebody somewhere wants it, and they
want it in an OOCL type van.

*sigh*

We have an MOLU type van sitting there left over from Tanner crabbies,
and it too is a foreign container, and, in my admittedly limited
professional opinion, it is a Better type container than the OOCL ones
*shrug*

An' I look at him.... an' I look at the MOLU sittin' there, an' I look
back at him an' ask " are you sure we can't use an MOL? " to wit he just
Laughs at me like there's no way in hell he's gonna play phone tag with
the folks in Seattle yet AGAIN.  *giggles*

Fine, Whatever, Don't even try.

"Surething, not a problem, an OOCL, we can do that"  *laughs*  (I'd make
a great politician, huh? *grin*)

So, five sets of instructions, three counter instructions, two pages
over the intercom, and one surprise visit later, I'm thinkin' tha's it,
he won't bother us any more today.

*BURSTS OUT LAUGHING!!*

ya, you guessed it, there he is again *sigh*  I don't remember what it
was this time but I had gone beyond frosted inta the realms of glazed
an' decided ta throw a spanner inta the works an' watch the monkeys play
with it...

"So, um, you KNOW that the first four vans of this we did we had a
WEIGHT LIMIT, does that still apply or should I just go ahead and put 36
totes in there like YOU told me too?"

*giggles* That'll learn ya, ya freek.

So off he goes ta the phone again ta find out what I already know.
*laughs*

Keep in mind that dozens of man hours and computer resources have been
tied up in this particular project just to 'save money' *sigh*

Sometime later he comes back, and hey, whaddya know? there IS a weight
limit *Laughs*  An' factoring in the weight limit means that all those
nice numbers They came up with sitting in their offices playing phone
tag ALL day long just won't work.  *shrugs* Didn't bother me none, but
it glazed Mr. B a bit...

So, Mr. B, bein' an enlightened and civilized person, turns ta Big Dave
and just REAMS him for being late Tomorrow!

No Shit.

Both Dave and I were dumbstruck by that one.

It was at that point that I decided I just wouldn't mention the fact
that you can't stack two fresh fish totes on top of each other inside
most 24 foot AMLU vans, there just isn't room *grins*

After all, we've done This before, right? *wink*

I gotta go
Torbjon

 Subject:
        lazy BURST OUT LAUGING!!!!
   Date:
        Tue, 16 Mar 1999 12:47:49 -0800

Okay kids *giggles*

You guys obviously have Too Much Free time on yer hands *grin*

Ya, sure, it Could be worse... I could be tryin' ta make a buck in the
lower 48 *laughs*

I could be in the Millitary playing their silly little games...

I could be in Prison gittin' buggered by god only knows who...

Suffice it to say that there IS a thing called Karma *shrugs*

An' fer every shitty day there IS a totally Awesome day too...

If it was Really THAT bad ALL of the time I wouldn't live here.

Take right now fer instance...

not very many boats showed up today,  the big stress we were gittin'
hyped about Yesterday never came to pass, it's Totally Mellow at the
plant right now.  Every now and then a flurry of Huge feathery
snowflakes comes drifting down, *dreamy* looks BEAUTIFUL *grin*  Mr. B
has yet to pester me about ANYTHING yet today...

Remember me goin' on and on about the Sunset girl?  *dreamy sigh*  THAT
was Awesome...

Remember  how amped I was when Al turned the van dock over to me?

Remember how suprised I was to find out I was a 'key' guy??

Look back at some of the old lazies, they ain't ALL bitch fests...
 
 

The Past is missing.

The Future is hoped for...

And NOW is the moment in which you ARE.

Rock on comrades.

I gotta go
Torbjon

 Subject:
        lazy D&D
   Date:
        Tue, 16 Mar 1999 20:34:51 -0800
 

I sent a letter out at Lunchtime in reply ta Dave an' Deans
banterings... however, I never got MY copy, and my machine DID hiccup
pretty good then... *shrugs* it's in the sent box, maybe tha's as far as
it went, I dunno... *laughs*
 

*Laughs HARD!!*

fergit it, it just now came through, seven hours later *giggles*
Okay, so it's Still faster than pony express...

but it ain't as fast as Sub Space communications *wink*
---------

So just Who Are these Dave and Dean bozos that flooded our boxes today,
hmmm? *wicked grin*
 

Dean is the one I know the least about, so lets see if I can stick me
foot in my mouth there, first *laughs*

So, I got a step mom *shrugs*

Not alla you knew that but there ya go.

An' me step mom's got a twin sister

No, really, check 'em out;

http://www.geocities.com/Area51/Chamber/1561/candc1.jpg

Spooky, huh? *giggles*

Anyway, Dean is me step moms twin sisters son, tha' makes him my step
cousin or some such *shrugs* I dunno...

Dean an' I are almost Exactly the same age... I think I'm a day or two
up on him *ponders* can't remember...

I've been hearing about Dean since I was like 13 or 14, for a couple of
Forevers, tha's fer sure *giggles* but we never communicated at all
'till the lazies started up.  This past year or so we've emailed and
snailmailed quite a bit, he sent me a CD of some really groovy music
that he and some of his buddies put together, an' he's been sharing his
writings with me and some of you (fifteen years between homeruns) which
I've more than enjoyed... I'm rather envious of his writing style, nice
and smoooooooth *dreamy sigh*   The boy could and SHOULD publish...

On top of alla that the dude ain't a looser like yers truly, he's got a
more or less 'normal' life, an' a really cool and devastatingly cute
girlfriend...wife?  *giggles* well hell, I took one look at her picture
and it was "Dean Who??" ya know? *laughs*

Even though I've Never met this guy an' we've really only communicated
very little (compared to how much I've communicated with some of You) I
feel like... I dunno, he's Blood, ya know?  If I had a brother it would
be him *shrugs*  We're just enough alike to get along really well, and
we're just enough alike to beat each other to a bloody pulp *laughs*

I dig on Dean.

Dave, on the other hand, is an Entirely Different Animal than Dean.
*giggles*

Dave's ten years older than me,  an' me dad is ten years older than
Dave... Seein' the three of us together is a riot *snickers*

Dave was born into the Military, as was I.  However his upbringing
allowed him to travel all over the place when he was growin' up, a
luxary/curse that was denied me...

When he finished his schoolin' he signed up for a tour of duty with our
Armed Forces, and served our country risking his life to ensure that
people like you and me can pretty much do and say whatever we fucking
want to.  I happen to have a great deal of respect for that.

When I finished my schoolin' I too signed up for a tour of duty with our
Armed Forces... I'm sure that comes as a surprise to some of you
*laughs*  Unlike Dave, however, I chickened out at the last minute and
ran away *shrugs*  Perhaps that was 'clever' of me... perhaps it was
'cowardly'... I dunno.

So although there is a ten year gap between us, already you can see some
similarities in our lives, yes?  So when I first met him I did not in
any way feel alienated by this guy... ya, sure, I was a whacked out
deadhead hippy at the time an' he was a successful computer programer,
still, there was Something Right, ya know?

When I first met Dave I was workin' with a guy named Bob, an' Bob an' I
were remodeling a house for another guy also named Dave, an' Dave and
Dave had this computer business thingy they were doing, and part of this
remodeling job was turning the garage into a nice office so these guys
could work at home and not have to commute a million miles...

So it wasn't done yet, but Bob an' I had the offices together enough for
them to work in, an' they're doin' their computer thing, an' Bob an' I
are doin' our remodeling thing, an' fer the most part I pretty much
ignored both Daves as Bob was my boss, ya know?

So, I'm coming in to 'work' one day, an' there's Dave sittin' in a lawn
chair in the back yard, big ol' stack of computer papers in one hand,
big ol' pistol in the other, he's readin' through the papers, an' then
he'd Yell "STUPID MORONS!!!" *blamblamblamblam* and unload some bullets
into a tree stump... more reading, another "THOSE IGNORANT PRICKS!!!"
*blamblamblamblam* more bullets in the tree stump...

*giggles* Sound Familiar???  Ya, ME going off on Seattle, or the Office,
or... anybody fer that matter *laughs*

At that moment I thought " now there's a guy who Knows how to deal with
stress " and that was that, Dave was all right. *girn*

Spent a Lot of time with him over the years...

Watched him go from single to dating to married to Dad (Dave, as you may
recall, is Sammys' Dad)

Watched him go from the hard as nails, kill 'em all, super survivalist
He Man, to the squishy oogly googly Father men become when they Really
Love their kids...

Dave and Dean are All Right

After all, they are on the list, just like YOU.

*grin*
I gotta go
Torbjon

 Subject:
        lazyherring
   Date:
        Sat, 20 Mar 1999 12:32:43 -0800

So, um, Wednesday and Thursday were Mr. Bs' Happy House of Stress
Halibut *giggles*  an' we did somewhere around 200,000 pounds of the
stuff in about 30 hours *laughs* (We are not Men, We are Devo)

It was one of Those days *shrugs*

Friday was one of those Other days *laughs*

One of those groovy days that is Way Mellow and makes up for the other
kind... only bummer was that it was raining *laughs*

'Course that melted most of the snow outta the van pit...

All kinds of things turned up down there *grin*

Never found the other No Parking sign though *sigh*

So, Sitka Herring is on two hour notice...

Remember Herring? *laughs*

Yep.  Back into the dungeon ta stack totes endlessly *giggles*

An' fer the first time Ever I'm gonna be on day shift *sigh*

For those of you newer to the List, Herring is about the Time these
lazies really got rolling last year...

There are usually some days off between each fishing area, an' being on
a night schedule there wasn't a lot else ta do 'cept poke around on the
internet *laughs*

But DayShift.... *shudders*

I dunno...

The DayLight Delights of Daring Herring and his All Star Band?

with the bonus track
Freezer Follies by Fusion Furnace?

*laughs*
I gotta go
Torbjon

 Subject:
        lazydungeon
   Date:
        Wed, 24 Mar 1999 21:53:04 -0800
 

hmmph...

*puff puff*

Frozen Fingers

An' not the Quick Freeze ya git from a blast, or that bloody wind chill
ya git from drivin' in five, naw, this is that deep down to the bone
freeze ya git from hangin' out in the fridge all day long *laughs*

Ya, you guessed it, Herring is Here he hee heee

Fer those of you tha' weren't around then... or just spaced it
completely, herring are these dinky little fish like a makrel or a
sardine or some such *shrugs* that they catch by the ton and we freeze
'em and put 'em in these Big cardboard boxes that hold over a thousand
pounds (totes) and then we stash alla the totes of herring in the
freezer fer a couple of weeks...

'Cause, ya see, pretty much the only part of these here herring we want
is the eggs.

No, really.  People actually Eat those things *shudders* ... like caviar
only different... roe is a realm I'd rather not remember right now...

So, after millions of years of evolution it's been decided tha' the best
way ta rip the eggs outta these suckers is ta first freeze 'em fer a
while, then dump 'em into a Metal tote an' pump a bunch of water over
'em ta fluff 'em up a bit.

This highly technical proceedure is called 'fluffing' and will come
later on down the road *laughs*

So, I'm stashing totes in the freezer.

In years past I always did this on night shift *shrugs*

And the moment I started my shift this morning I honestly couldn't tell
you When I was *Bursts out laughing!*  The whole 'stash totes' scene
fell into place too quickly... I never once had to think about What I
was doing...

When I was doing it was giving me a problem though *laughs*

I fell into the routine...

Lift up on the outside elevator door,  pushin' the bottom part down with
yer foot... lift up the cage door...

eye the totes for funkyness

tally the first two facing ya, toss the clipboard onta the back two so
ya don't fergit ta tally them too... drag the first two totes out with
the pallet jack... tally the second two... drag them out... push the
button, close the cage, close the outter doors, watch the elevator go
bye bye...

then it's git the Namco, stack up the totes, stash the namco, do the
elevator again, stack some totes, ...

And there was a time, a night shift time, when, upon occasion, I would
open the elevator doors and discover a piece of candy sitting quietly
atop a tote, or a little note depicting the woes of a femaleless
factory, Some item of Humanity to remind me that there is indeed LIFE
beyond those frozen walls...

So I'm pullin' totes, slippin' through the curtains, daydreamin' a bit
about the pasts, an' I notice this note on me tote!

*giggles*

Ya, you can imagine *grin* I'm thinkin' Tha's It, I've slipped through
the cracks!  I've breached the Time/Space barrier with nuthin' but a
frozen brain an' a slightly tweeky Namco *laughs*

Then I read the note

It was from Mr. B, an' the whole day shift thing came crashing down
around me *laughs*

Seems there was indeed Life out there somewhere, an' they were producin'
fresh Halibut *bursts out laughing!!* so when I get done with me twelve
hour stint in the fridge would I please make sure that alla that gits ta
where it's goin' *giggles*

I woulda preferred a piece of candy.
I gotta go
Torbjon
 

 Subject:
        lazyday
   Date:
        Thu, 25 Mar 1999 19:34:15 -0800

brrrrrrr....
 

*shivers*
 

not sure there's enough dope in alla the world, but what the hell, never
Know until ya actually Look, right?

*pokes around the house*

'Nuther day in the fridge *sigh*

For those of you that may have actually Forgotten where I live during
Herring, have a gander:

http://www.geocities.com/Area51/Chamber/1561/psgpfi13.htm

*giggles*

Spooky, huh?

So the day began pretty much where it left off, with the Stress Fish
Fiasco... which wasn't that big of a deal But it took me away from the
fridge fer a while, the end result bein' I fell behind and Never caught
up 'till they all went home *sigh* I hate it when that happens....

So, while I'm totally failing to catch up an' cursing pencil pushing
pricks I have this 'Why Am I Doing This?' thought *laughs* which is Not
the grooviest of thoughts ta have if yer already in a shitty mood, ya
know?

Now, fergit the fact tha' I'm feedin' the world.

An' fergit the fact tha' They do indeed pay me money to be there...

The question foremost on me pointy little mind was 'why was *I*,
Torbjon, upstairs alone in the fridge bustin' me ass an' havin' me sweat
freeze in places tha' just wasn't meant ta be covered with ice??, while
Night Shift has two dudes upstairs ta do the same job?'

Seein' how it takes virtually No thought whatsoever ta unload the
elevator an' stack totes, I had Tons of time ta think about it *laughs*

So I pondered it, and it dawned on me that just about Everybody that I
could actually spend twelve straight hours with without killing is on
Night Shift *giggles*

Duh.

An' ta my knowledge there ain't even any cute chicks ta help spur me on
ta new levels of testosterone bloated madness *laughs*

Okay, so there is No One ta suffer with me, *shrugs* tha's cool, I kin
dig it...

So then I had this thought;  What the Fuck am I doing Suffering AT
ALL???

I mean, can Anybody tell me why Dougie is sitting on a forklift all day
reading a book?

Dougie is the dayshift guy downstairs that is loading me elevator with
totes an' sendin' 'em up ta me...

it takes five minutes ta load the elevator...

were doin' a hundred or so totes a shift....

four totes per elevator load....

Even a brain dead Freezer Rat like me kin figger out he's only doin'
'bout two hours of "work" in a twelve hour shift

*sigh*

So ya got twelve hours ta git two hours worth of stuff done...

You'd think tha' stuff would be done just Perfect, I mean, what else is
there ta do, right?  Tons of Time, no stress, I'm gonna put these totes
in the elevator better than Anybody's ever done it before, I'm gonna set
'em in there just as slick as ya please, each one is gonna be Pure
Poetry....

Nawwww,

The bozo just shoves 'em in there any old way, usually with one crammed
up against the door on My side makin' it pert near impossible ta open,
an' another two wedged together so tight  I kin barely pry 'em apart
with an Electric Fucking Pallet Jack fer chrissakes....

Then it occurred to me, Well No Fucking Wonder they got Dougie down
there doin' the Simple job *laughs* 'Cause He Can't Even Do THAT Right!
*Bursts out laughing*

So some more totes go by, a few more handfuls of ice fall down the back
of me neck, another dozen or so slaps in the face with a frozen freezer
curtain, an' it occurs ta me;  They ain't assigning positions based upon
who does what best... They is makin' the work list based upon Who can we
stick with Who so they don't kill each other or break everything?

*giggles*

An' so They stuck me in the Dungeon all by me lonesome with Dougie as my
tormentor

*bursts out laughing*

Karma

Gotta love it.

I gotta go
Torbjon

 Subject:
        lazyFrieday
   Date:
        Fri, 26 Mar 1999 21:05:23 -0800

So, besides bein' the makers of Pac Man, just what the hell is a Namco,
anyway?

*sip*

hmmm, well, here's a pic of Charlie standin' next ta one:

http://www.geocities.com/Area51/Chamber/1561/psgf5.htm

An' fer those of you tha' Don't do Pics, our Namcos are these little
chariot like forklift thingies... narrow isle forklifts *shrugs*

Namco built the bloody things and their company name is like Forged into
the metal... for all I know the things were called The Luxomatic Lift
Master 2000 or The Narrow Isle Nifty Lifty Deluxe *laughs* but every
other bit of factory endorsed lettering has worn off of 'em some umpteen
years ago so the only original lettering ya can read is NAMCO *shrugs*

An' we got Two of these things, a 'big' one, an' a 'little' one.

The Big one has these long metal extensions that kinda hang over the
forks and rattle like hell when yer drivin' over even the Smoothest of
surfaces... this one is called Super Namco.

The other one has no fork extensions, doesn't stand as tall, an' isn't
quit as strong... thus Baby Namco *laughs*

So, Namcos' are these funky little chariot like things tha' ya stand up
in an' use ta stack an' unstack things in places too small for a more
normal type forklift... OR, places where a normal type forklift would be
too heavy.

In the evolution of tote pullin, Namcos' lay somewhere between Pallet
Jacks (where you ain't ridin' Nuthin', yer walkin' on the bloody ground
yankin' and tuggin' an' cursin' and basically not diggin' Life at all)
and Forklifts (where yer sittin' on yer butt an' have Cosmic Phenomenal
Powers at yer fingertips *giggles*)

Upstairs in the Fridge is Tight... an' there's weight limits...

Thus, Namco *shrugs*

Since there is two shifts goin', an' there's two Namcos, I've been usin'
Super Namco on my shift, an' Bubba and Kahullu have been usein' Baby
Namco at night... lot of reasons this worked out that way, but one of
'em is Super Namco is Twitchy *laughs*

Okay, Possessed. *shrugs*

These things are pretty simple ta run; they got this dead man switch ya
gotta Stand on (with yer Left foot) ta make it work, the idea bein' if
Die an' fall off the Namco will come to a grinding halt an' gloat over
yer still twitchin' body.   There's this crank fer yer left hand ta turn
tha' turns the one back wheel left or right, an' there's this joystick
fer yer right hand ta play with; push forward the thing drives forward,
yank back the thing drives backwards.  Pushin' it to the right lifter
yer forks UP, an' to the left brings 'em DOWN again...

'Bout like you'd expect from the makers of Pac Man *giggles*

Kind of a groovy toy, actually *laughs*

Only the joystick is Tweaked.

Fried would be a better term.

Totally Thrashed.

*grin*

Ya, Pac Man with a fucked up joystick just ain't the Same, ya know?

So I go inta work this morn', an' there's Ollie unpluggin' the Super
Namco from the charger an' pluggin' it in like he was gonna use it, an'
me bein' all awake and cheery like say in a Very Clear Voice '
Whaddayadoin?? '

To which he replied, in a highly Alert, Adrenaline Amped state, ' Huh?
What?  I need to get a tote.... I'll only be... won't take long... '

In other words there was some Stress Fish that had to go out on the
morning jet and he needed to get a tote of gel-ice out of the freezer
and his panic stricken stressed out synapses decided that THAT Namco was
THE tool for the job *laughs* an' he was frantically tryin' ta plug the
thing back into itself so it could go...

'Um' says I

*giggles*

Too little Too late though, he hopped on the Namco.

And away it (an he) went, full speed, in reverse!! *Bursts out
Laughing!!*

' It's Twitchy ' says I, my caffeine deprived mind refusing to except
the fact that Ollie is indeed going to crash into the chill room wall.

!WHAM!

Super Namco smashes into chill room wall with a nice KerWhack.

Chill Room Wall responds with Double Reinforced Deflector Whammy and
Super Namco goes skittering off to the side, metal fork extensions
clanging wildly.

Dazed Greenhorne watches spectacle and probably wonders how he managed
to Not be bonus points in that round.

Ollie LEAPS off the Namco, eyes Wide with god only knows what mixture of
emotions and stares at the demon spawned Son of Pac Man, now dormant.

Gloria (First Aid/Safety... person tha's supposed ta make sure alla our
drivers ain't drunk or nuthin', amoung other things) whose office is
Right next to the chill room, comes out and eyes Ollie.

The Greenhorne eyes Ollie.

I eye Ollie.

' I Know!' says Ollie 'I got... I just... IT...'

'Er, Um,' Says I

And He Hops Back On The Namco Again!!!

'The Joystick' says I

Too late.

Full power, in reverse, out onto the dock, straight towards that big
shop door with alla those signs on it sayin' Don't Enter, Death Awaits
You Beyond This Door yadda yadda yadda

Ollie again LEAPS offa the Namco, self preservation in his eyes this
time *laughs*

The Greenhorne vanished *shrugs*  One of the smarter ones I guess ...

Gloria looks at Ollie who is now shakin' like a junkie in need of a fix
an' says ' The way you drive, you better get a hard hat '  an' went back
into her office *laughs*

The Namco sat silently pretty much in the way of everything, waiting....

Ollie eyed the thing suspiciously... if it wasn't in the way of
Everything he'd leave it, no doubt about it....

BUT

he heee heeee

but I still had to punch in an' git some coffee an' the clock was
tickin' *sigh*

speaking of which,

I gotta go
Torbjon

So I guess Cindy read me letter las' night 'cause this morning when I
came inta work I could hear her tellin' Dougie that He was gonna go into
the fish house an' do stupid stuff an' She was gonna load the elevator
today *laughs*

An' Dougie, not knowin' how ta say 'Fuck You, I ain't done with me book
yet!' to somebody that has like, a desk an' a phone and stuff in the
OFFICE, said 'okay, sure' and ran off to do gods only knows what
somewhere Far from my little frozen realm. *giggles*

*shrugs*

Didn't change my little world too much

in the past days I've watched my world dwindle from about two football
fields of floor space down to about a basketball courts worth of room...
*sigh*  gittin' Tight.

Plugged Holding Ten today *shudders*

Holding Ten is funky, to say the least....

For those of you that forgot, we have Twelve holdings (big storage
freezers) ranging in size from a small house to a large cathedral.  One
through Five are downstairs on the ground level.  Six through Eleven are
upstairs and make up the second floor of the fridge.  Twelve is it's own
little world about three feet above the second floor, nowhere Near a
full story above the second floor, but the button on the elevator says
'3' so Twelve is also called the third floor.

Twelve has a really low ceiling so you can't stack totes in there.

6,7,8,9,&11 are tall enough that ya can use a Namco ta stack one tote on
top of another... more stuff in the same floor space, yes?

But Ten is funky.

On one side of Ten the floor dips down a bit and ceiling is a few feet
higher, an' ya can git THREE totes on top of each other

*laughs*

Tha's not really a big deal except fer the fact tha' the only tool we
have tha' will Reach that high and can be used up there is...

you guessed it

The very same Namco tha' tried ta kill Ollie yesterday *Laughs*

The one tha' if you even Look at it funny barrels off at full speed in
reverse *grin*

Okay, *shrugs* bouncin' offa the walls don't bother me none, not like I
never plowed into anything, ya know? *laughs*

But this is the Fridge.

And it ain't cold by magic *grins*

There's alla these pipes all over the place, along the ceiling, along
some of the walls, around the doors... all of 'em festooned with valves
an' handles and other nifty things ta whack into...

And alla of 'em are just Covered with frost... *grins* really pretty,
actually, nice big crystals, trippy light reflections... *shrugs*

And all of them are just Full of pressurized liquid ammonia just waiting
to burst out and instantly Zap the idiot that whacked the pipe an' then
every other living thing for a five mile radius... say, the whole bloody
island *laughs*

And there I am straddling three thousand pounds of frozen temperamental
metal with a tweaky joystick, waving a 1300 pound tote of herring around
ten feet in the air scant inches from a whole mess of pipes...

*sigh*

And you wonder why I'm bald *laughs*

*sigh*
 

I gotta go
Torbjon

 Subject:
        lazySUN!
   Date:
        Mon, 29 Mar 1999 19:12:01 -0800

wow, lookit alla the replies... too cool *laughs*  Lotta bored people
out there *grin*

Today was one of Those Groovy Days that makes up for Those Other days.

SUNSHINE!!!!!
 

Lots of it. *grin*

AND

he hee heeee

I GOT TO SPEND SOME TIME IN IT!!!

*dreamy sigh*

yep, they let me outta my dungeon. *shrugs*  I don't think anybody
particularly Wanted ta let me out, but the upstairs is FULL, so the only
place left ta stash totes is downstairs *Grin*

Sunshine and Blue skies *dreamy*

and birds and sea lions

and People! *melts*

I saw some strangers today... no, Really *grin*

Now that may not be a biggy to You, but remember I'm on an island with a
rather small population.

Couple of touristy types strolled inta the van pit, took a few pics of
the ocean, gave Me a gander *giggles* THAT actually felt kinda creepy,
like "Here's the local bozo in his natural habitat.  Note the unkempt
appearance and pale complexion, no doubt the local heroine addict... And
over Here we see wage slaves pumping fish out of a boat...." then
strolled off again *shrugs*

So, Sitka Herring is all but over;  Night Shift should be finishing it
up right now *grin*

For some reason Sitka seemed a hell of a lot more stressed out last year
than it did this year... I need to go back an' look at an old lazy
*laughs*

This year it just... Happened.

Keep in mind I WAS all alone in a very bizarre environment, the rest of
the plant coulda been goin' balls ta the wall fer all I know *shrugs*
but Last year it was a lot more funky stashing the totes... there were a
lot of small lots (lot#101, 20 ton, lot#102, 27 ton,etc.) and basically
I was just told 'put this code upstairs, put this code downstairs'
*laughs*

This year the lots were bigger (lot 101, 60 ton, lot 102 72 ton, etc.)
lot changes are a pain, bigger lots, less changes, less pain. *grin*
They also Told me where to put 'em, and when it got down to the end,
They made a lot to fill the remaining bits and pieces of space.

SMOOTH

still a pain in the fucking ass, but at least it wasn't sandpaper, ya
know?

Power worked out well too... Alla the tools we use in the fridge are
electric, mostly 'cause they fit but also because of the fumes Az was
talkin' 'bout...

And electric tools gotta be Charged up again, ya know?

Only we're runnin' twenty four hours a day, so when do you plug things
in and let them charge? *laughs*

but folks were good about pluggin' stuff in when they weren't usin' it
so it wasn't so bad..

but tha's not the freeky thing...

the freeky thing is that I didn't Whack into Anything.  *giggles*

not even a minor glancing blow, no crunched pallets, no mangled totes...

*shudders*

Tha's like a 'no hitter', ya know? *giggles*

There's still Kashakes ta go though, an' tha's gonna git stashed
downstairs

hee hee heeee

Right across from holdings one and two are three blast freezers, four
shelf freezers, an' runnin' up an' down the hallway between holdings and
blasts is a bunch o' Freezer Rats pullin' trays an' wheelin' buggies...

and it's foggy

*wicked grin*

Now I git ta be the Bozo on a forklift tha' runs people down *wink*

I gotta go
Torbjon
 

*sigh*

so, this is by no means the entire list, but I'm hoping that maybe one
or two of you will attatch this to a recent lazy and forward it on to
folks....

My computer fried. *shrugs*

It's a software thing, I'm sure, still, it's beyond my level of
understanding and I get the distinct impression I'm going to be
voiceless for a while... perhaps a long while.  *laughs*

who will suffer more?  you or me? *giggles*

Me, no doubts about it... not too happy with this sudden turn of events.

So, today I got the day off... and I'll spend most of it trying to
figure out what went wrong where, but for Now...

Now I'm in the Alaskafe, sipping a two shot Americano, and chattin' at
you...

Alaskafe is where alla this Began...

Perhaps it ends here... at least for a while... *shrugs* I dunno

Anyway, I wanted you all to know that for the time being at least, I am
email-less and I'm NOT ignoring you  *sigh*

I'm back all alone on my rock *laughs*

Karma, gotta love it

well my few minutes of purchased time is about up, so...

I gotta go.