Subject:
        lazyday
   Date:
        Tue, 02 Feb 1999 07:04:14 -0800

*yawn*

Still Snowing *sigh*

*sip*

So, Charlie (tha's Baitboy ta you and me) got back the other day.  He
spent his holiday in South America... Talk about TAN, sheeeesh! he looks
like a fucking God

Jim showed up too (he's the canvan man, for those of you who have
forgotten)  He spent His holiday in Europe, and whereas he wasn't very
tan he Did look like the cat that got the canery *smirk* considering Who
he spent his holiday with I can't say tha' I blame him

Both said the same thing I did upon my return... it's like they never
left *shrug*

Now there HAS been some changes here during our absence... like, the
Homestead Cafe is now sporting a very obnoxious No Smoking sign in the
window *shudders* wha's with that?  The Homestead has been a seething
den of smoke and java and tall tales every since I can remember... the
idea of sitting in there without a smoke *shudders* tha's like sex
without a partner, ya know?  Doable, but not much fun *shrug*

Work, mmph, 'bout like you'd expect, totally fucking bonkers and it
ain't even summer yet *laughs*  Same ol' song and dance; last week I had
a couple months ta git rid of All the leftover chum salmon, no stress...
last night near quittin' time I git the order ta send all the Semi 6-9
Green Tag chum ta Bellingham TODAY. *laughs*  So much fer no stress
*grin*

The Swamp...*sigh* it's still there.  Couple feet beneath the snow,
kinda like Journy to the Center of the Earth *laughs*  But if ya dig
deep enough you will come upon a hidden steamy land forgotton by all but
the most anal of bozoboys (me) complete with bug eyed monsters and
exotic birds...  Tim offered ta help me fix it... other than Do the
actual work for me I'm not 100% sure what another pair of hands could do
down there other than get in the way... I dunno, we'll see. *sigh*  I
see the swamp fixing itself about the same as me sex life; Ain't Gonna
Happen *laughs* but tha' dosen't stop me from dreamin', ya know?

And still it snows. *laughs*

I get the feeling that there is more snow removal equiptment per capita
here in Petersburg than any other state in the union *grin*

And shovels.

Everybody and their brother is out shoveling...wha's with that?
Yesterday I go to work in the Morning and the guy down the road is
shovelin' his walk... I come home fer lunch and the same guy is
shovelin' the same walk *shrug*  I come home after work and there he is,
same guy, same shovel, same walkway, and Big Fluffy Flakes are fallin'
from the heavens... *laughs* he's probably Swedish... Norwegians Know
better than ta shovel snow IN the snow, ya know?

Oh well,
I gotta go
Torbjon

 Subject:
        lazydayafter
   Date:
        Tue, 02 Feb 1999 17:29:24 -0800

wow

most beautiful sunset I've seen in AGES is gracing my window
reds
blues
silvers
*dreamy*

Don't git me wrong, life here is a righteous pain in the ass, but it
sure is pretty sometimes.

So, what? Now the snow turns into Ice, is that what I have in store for
me? *giggles*  That could prove interesting... up 'till now I never
really thought much about what happens AFTER it stops snowing, ya know?
Just 'gee, look at the big fluffy flakes fallin' from the sky, how
pretty' *laughs*

hmmm

So, WORK *Bursts out laughing!*

As you may recall, yesterday ended on a somewhat stressful yet highly
undefined note; Semi, six to nine, south, fast *shrug*

So this morn I stroll in and sure enough, people have decided to stress
over it *grin* By a quarter after I got a game plan in mind.  By half
past Tim (tha's Cap'n Chaos ta you and me) is tellin' me the barge is at
noon and Mr. B is stressin' at him to Hurry *laughs*

A noon deadline didn't mess with me game plan any *wink*

So I tell Cap'n Chaos ta split as he tends ta git in me way.

'Uh-uh, Mr. B will beat me up'

*sigh* Turns out this stuff Really Has To Go and Mr. B will go to Any
lengths ta git it out including giving me WAY more people than I could
EVER use ta help out *laughs* it's one of those situations where More
manpower just isn't gonna speed things up, ya know?

I mean, there's ONE slipsheet puller.

There's ONE van.

The totes go in ONE at a time...

how many people do we need for this?

Three is pushin' it but I let Tim hide out and made him drive a forklift
around in a productive manner so he wouldn't get into too much trouble
with anybody.

So we're doin' stuff and the barge gits moved back ta three *grin* and
Mr. B is sayin' work through lunch ta git it done.

Now the game plan was ta perform a wizardly act and make it all go away
by noon long before anybody started stickin' their fingers in it, but
with the productive drivin' we were done by elevenish

So we button things up, get the paperwork rollin' , things are groovy,
noon time rolls around...

And we still gotta work through lunch *laughs*

just because *shrug*

At the time it seemed Silly, ya know? I mean, we were Done with the
freaky part, getting more on the Barge was not doable, so let's chill,
right?  *laughs*

But then, of course, we got off an hour early.

he hee heee

and I got ta dig the sunset.

I gotta go.
Torbjon
 
 

 Subject:
        lazyslurpy
   Date:
        Fri, 05 Feb 1999 19:13:31 -0800

*bursts out laughing*

Oh, so THIS is what happens when it stops snowing *giggles*

what hasn't turned inta that super slick ice has decided to turn into
this incredibly thick neon blue slurpy stuff....

It's not snow....

It's deffinately not water...

It's a slurpy.

About a foot thick in most places.... thicker in others *shrugs*  A few
of the spots were up ta me knees *laughs*

Took me an hour just ta walk the five minute walk home tonight *sigh*

Wasn't the slurpy so much as the bozos in their cars... splashin' goop
everywhere, not stoppin' fer the bozoboy on foot 'cause they might git
stuck and git all embarassed and have ta actually WALK or somethin'
*giggles*

Oh well, weekend off.  I may even try to Unpack this weekend....nawww
*Laughs*

Work...*shudders*... the Work part ain't so bad... but the people *sigh*

Here's an example of the caliber of cannon fodder I git ta work with;

Uncool Pete (not ta be confused with Cool Pete) had a little clean up
project today; spray paint over the graffitti in the bathrooms.  Now I
don't know too much about the ladies john 'cause despite the rumours I
don't hang out in there alla that often, but they guys john, well, there
were a few pics penned ta the stall wall, and some witty phrases in
spanish, a few penned comments here and there about 4:20, and in one
stall, in large bold majikmarker letters, was the phrase "FUCK PFI",
which, le's face it, every single one of us has thought that at least
Once in our fishy carreers, yes? so, no biggy *shrug*

So, what does Uncool Pete do?  He goes and gits a can a spray paint
tha's more or less the same color as the stalls, goes inta the stall
with the big bold letters, and spraypaints "FUCK PFI" over the top of
the majikmarkered "FUCK PFI" so now it says "FUCK PFI" in paint enstead
of ink *laughs*

Keep in mind tha' Uncool Pete ain't tryin' ta be clever or witty or none
o' that stuff there, he actually Believes he fixed the problem *sigh*

Of course, this is the same guy we make melt the holes in the plastic
totes shut so they don't leak as much anymore, so I dunno, maybe his
brain disfunction is directly related ta the toxic fumes he's been
breathin' *shrug*

Oh well... Onward.

Here's a karma point I said I'd pass on;  One of the guys I work with,
who's name is Ivar (a shopguy) collects automobile license plates.  Hey,
whatever turns ya on, right?  Used ta collect comics meself *shrug*
Anyway, if any of you do that sort of thing, or know of others who use
the stuff, lemme know, and I'll hook ya up an' you can trade plates till
whatever passes fer total orgasmic pleasure for people who do that sort
of thing overcomes you...

end of karma point.

*sip*

Can ya tell I'm jus' babblin'?

*laughs*

ya.

Been a while though, since I just had at it, ya know?

One o' the things tha' slows me up is bein' this close ta some of me
audience...*laughs*...it's silly, really, but I babble pretty freely
when I think No One is actually Readin' this...

But alotta the time I find meself stoppin' thinkin' "so and so ain't
gonna take that right" or "so and so don't need ta know that"

*sigh*

weird scene, huh?

bah.

Is it 4:20 yet?

*smirk*

hmmm

Got an email this morn'

from a cute chick no less *dreamy*

She was up here a few seasons back...

a pleasant blast from the past, ya know? nice way ta start the day
off...

'course the fact tha' she was askin' me if I knew how ta git in touch
with one of my buddies didn't phase the quality of daydreams I had today
one bit *laughs*

So I sent her his phone number *shrugs*

And an invite ta join the List *wink*

So who knows?

I gotta go
Torbjon

 Subject:
        lazysunday
   Date:
        Sun, 07 Feb 1999 10:06:27 -0800

*yawn*

mmmph

*sip*

Yep.

Got up at 0700 this morn'...0600 yesterday.

Ya, on the WEEKEND.

Got up before the sun on the weekend...

*sigh*

I think I'm 'old'

Not sure when it happend, either *giggles*

It didn't happend last July (my birthday)

Last July is when Al quit and I got the dock dumped inta me lap, along
with a new bozo ta train (Mr. Stitts) and literally Tons of fish ta deal
with.

There just wasn't a lot of time ta ponder the 'gitting a year older'
thing, ya know?

But here I sit with me mornin' cup o' coffee fully a half dozen hours
Before I need ta git up, and I crashed out last night Long before the
witching hour...

And I'm Not ill....

So I must be Old, yes?

Last night Athena came over fer a visit, loaned me a tape, picked up
some email addresses *shrug* nothin' special.  More of a business
meeting than anything...

She was tellin' me about her job.  She quit the PFI scene last year and
got a city job; life guard up at the pool.  Now then, the middle school
and high school kids use the pool fer gym and ta train fer swim meets
and stuff, then after school the pool is open ta the public, only, fer
the most part, it's still middle school and high school kids that use
the pool then, too.

Now then, the Other life guard is some 19 year old chick, and the kids
Know Athena is older than her, so they think she is like 21 *laughs*
after all, 21 is a LOT older than 19, right?   Ancient, almost
*snickers*

Just so you know, Athena was 21 when I first met her, and that was some
Years ago...

And tha's part of why I'm thinkin'  I'm 'old' now, because even though
it WAS some years ago, it feels like it was just last week, ya know?

Like on New Years Day, when the Wiccan called me...she DID send me a
letter last summer outta the blue that suprised the hell outta me, but
untill New Years Day we hadn't spoken to each other in, what? over two
years...

And she called, and me folks handed me the phone, and it was 'oh, hey,
wha's up? yadda yadda yadda' just like it hadn't been two years, more
like it'd been like only two days, since we last spoke to each other...

And just yesterday I was in Italy chasing Gilda all over the place
*laughs*

It bothers me that the moments I wish to dwell upon all happend some
years ago *sigh*

Where Does the time go?

It's like tomorrow has already come and gone an' I'm Late...

*bursts out laughing!!*

Anyone other than me git the impression tha' I need ta git laid?  People
were sayin' that about me last year, as I recall...

They used ta say 'take more drugs' untill they had a peek at that drug
induced monstrosity of a web page I built lovingly known as Torbtown
*laughs*

Now they say chase chicks *sigh*

*shrug*

But there aren't any, soooo,

So I write lazyletters, and you guys circulate some of the better ones,
and every now and then someone new joins the list...

The last slew of newbies have all been female, too, come to think of
it... so in that respect me plan is working he hee heee

Very odd way ta meet people though; spill yer guts ta the world *shrugs*

Wha's weirder is that everybody here on the rock knows me a Lot better
than I know them *laughs*

For the most part I'm not a very nosey person... I'll babble atcha fer
hours but rarely ask too many questions, ya know? *shrugs* I figger
you'll tell me what I need ta know, so why pester ya with a bunch of
questions, yes?

So when I go inta work in the mornin' there's Charlie and Karen and Pete
and Tim and Cindy  all sittin' on the bench waitin' ta clock in, and
Mike up there havin' his 0800 break (and they're all on me list, too
*poke*)  an' they all know about the swamp under me house and me and the
tree and the Force,  and the complete details of me life and I don't
even know where half these folks Live! *Laughs!!*  Don't have a clue
wha's under any of their houses or what they do with the soap in the
shower or nuthin'... *shudders*

I've never been 'popular' before...

It's a Very Odd sensation indeed...

Heady...

It's two edged though, the 'phenominal cosmic powers; itty bitty living
space' thing *giggles* Both Master and Slave...

Well comrades, I doubt I'll have to try too hard to entertain you this
season *laughs*  Have the feelin' the show at the factory will be
giggles enough without me havin' ta embellish on it any *wink*   Gonna
be a bunch of new bozos runnin' the show this war, (meself included) be
intresting to see how inovative we can be...

One more week of laying in supplies an' diggin' trenches then Tanner is
upon us...

Gonna be a funky year

I gotta go
Torbjon

 Subject:
        lazylaughs
   Date:
        Mon, 08 Feb 1999 07:10:34 -0800
 

*giggles*

Looks like Baitboy and Flashback were bored yesterday.

Okay, so I'm never gonna git laid without the help of some expensive and
exotic drug *laughs* I've Never gotten laid before without the help of
cash andor drugs, soooooo *shrug* no news there. *grin*

*yawn*

mmmph

*sip*

Ya, it's MONDAY *shudders*

Funny, today I got the distinct feelin' I Could sleep 'till noon
*Laughs*

Oh well.

Mr. B. wants everything done by Wednseday so we can have a few days off
before the Tanner Crabbies get here (they are due in on the 15th)  And
unless somebody (a.k.a. Cap'n Chaos) comes at me with another to do
list, then my big project fer the day is finish setting up the packing
room *sigh*  Marcel could spend DAYS setting up the packing room...

Hey! Who's gonna run the packing room this year now tha' Marcel and
Susan are gone?  hmmmm???

gonna be a funky year, tha's fer sure...

I gotta go
Torbjon

 Subject:
        lazychaos
   Date:
        Mon, 08 Feb 1999 12:43:47 -0800
 

So, fer those of you just Diein' ta put a face with the name "Cap'n
Chaos", here's a pic of Mr. Shay taken today (STARDATE 020899.1030) by
Mr. Hill (tha's Cap'n Flashback ta you and me) with his new digital
camera thingy...

http://www.geocities.com/Area51/Chamber/1561/tshay1.jpg

I'm SURE there will be more as time goes by... he hee heee

Lunch,

Sad to say,

Is Over.

I gotta go
Seeya
Torbjon

 Subject:
        lazyFLASH!!
   Date:
        Mon, 08 Feb 1999 19:07:44 -0800
 

YEEHAW!

Mike sent me the first batch of pics, he hee heee

haven't made the pages yet, but here's the pics fer yer amusement;

Cap'n Chaos;
http://www.geocities.com/Area51/Chamber/1561/tshay1.jpg

Cap'n Flashback in his native environment (the radio station);
http://www.geocities.com/Area51/Chamber/1561/flash1.jpg
 

That fucking bozoboy on the van dock (me) in HIS natural environment
(holding 12);
http://www.geocities.com/Area51/Chamber/1561/twj12.jpg

Another one of me in some dark corner of the factory;
http://www.geocities.com/Area51/Chamber/1561/twj1.jpg
 

The front dock;
http://www.geocities.com/Area51/Chamber/1561/dock1.jpg

The harbor;
http://www.geocities.com/Area51/Chamber/1561/harbor1.jpg

Snowy street;
http://www.geocities.com/Area51/Chamber/1561/hagen1.jpg

Me at the post office;
http://www.geocities.com/Area51/Chamber/1561/twjpob1.jpg

An Eagle;
http://www.geocities.com/Area51/Chamber/1561/eagle1.jpg

An' tha's all she wrote fer now, *wink* although expect ta see a pic of
Baitboy soon *smirk*

I gotta go, and Thank You Cap'n Flashback!!!
Torbjon

 Subject:
        lazypics
   Date:
        Thu, 11 Feb 1999 14:55:56 -0800
 

*sip*

mmmph.

So, we got some days off before Tanner Crab hits... some of us...

We're supposed to be Relaxing and De-Stressing a bit before the war, ya
know? ... R&D

So I git up yesterday morning, and there in me email box is a note from
internet alaska sayin' me visa card is maxed out and if I don't do
sumptin soon they is gonna pull the plug on me  *shudders*

I kin live without hemp...sorta.

I kin live without sex...kinda.

But no way in hell am I livin' on this rock without a line outta here
*laughs*

So I barge down ta the bank, and, bein' a rather boisterous bozoboy, I
bellow and babble and bounce up 'n down 'till one of the bank babes asks
'may I help you?'

It happened ta be one of the more beautiful bank babes, so I buttoned me
lip, and in me best business like manner says 'er, um, uh' *blush*

I walk up and dump alla me bank books and debit card on her counter,
askin' "how much money do I have?"  *laughs* 'Cause despite the fact
tha' I kin juggle a million different numbers in me head at work, I
can't, fer the life of me, keep me bank books up ta date *sigh*

So she looks at me like I'm some bozo tha' can't grasp the concept of
translinear quantum variance as applied to the transitional phase of
universal gravitation while punchin' numbers in her computer...

An' I'm lookin' at her like any banker babe tha' wears a sweater THAT
tight want's 'em to be looked at *shrug*

She writes some numbers onna slip of paper and slips it my way...

Yep.

I got money.

Not a lot, but enough ta pay the bills, ya know?

So I focus on the banker part of the bank babe an' explain me dilemma.

She punches around in the computer again.

And then the computers go crazy...

An' a million minutes later it was decided it would be best if I just
left and came back later.

Whatever *sigh*

This R&D day was Not starting off onna good foot, ya know?

BUT

he hee heee

I had somethin' better than sex 'n drugs 'n internet at home

I had Cap'n Flashbacks brand spankin' new digital camera ta play with
*Grin*

Blew me away when he said 'here, you can borrow this for a day' and
handed me his brand new baby...

Spent all night playin' with the thing, it's Great! Tons of Fun....

My goal was ta git a bunch of photographs that I have digitized.  And
whereas it's not quite like a scanner, takin' a picture of a picture
works.  I'd gotten some good ones the night before an' was lookin'
forward to a productive morning of 'scanning' before the bank bit
happend...

So I put alla that behind me, locked alla the doors, put the fully
charged battery in the camera, put a floppy disk in it, and started ta
copy photos *grin*

It was great, goin' real smooth, gittin some okay copies.

Filled that disk up, popped it out, put another one in it and filled it
up too *giggles* Shutter bug happy.  It's Fun going through old photos
sometimes, ya know? (*pokes Baitboy* an' when yer OLD ya got a Lot of
photos *wink*)

Popped that disk out and figgered I'd better upload 'em onto my computer
to see if there where any I needed to retake... you can veiw the pics ya
took on the little window on the camera there, but it's not the same as
on the monitor...

So I uploaded the disks and went through the pics finding the fuzzy ones
or crooked ones and what not and then set those photos aside ta shoot
again, cleaned up the floppies so I could use them again, went ta put a
disk back in the camera,

and it only went in half way and then Stopped.

and my heart Stopped.

... what the? ...

I tried the other disk...

It stopped dead, halfway in, like hittin' a brick wall...

Oh Shit

A brick wall Ain't a standard thing ta find inside a spendy high tech
piece o' machinery like this...

I freaked.

How did a brick wall get in there???

What did I do???

I paged and emailed Mike right away

I freaked some more.

He emailed me back sayin' turn the disk around and put it in the right
way, he'd be over in a bit...

huh?

I looked at the disks...

They are normal little 3.5" floppy disks, ya know?

Plastic case

Write protect tab

Little metal plate that slides back and forth

Only one of the disks didn't Have a little metal plate on it

All the others had a little metal plate on it

But not that one...

OH SHIT!

The brick wall was a metal plate!!!

Mike showed up then.

He's lookin' at it tellin' me it's cool, no worries...

By this time of course I'm wired on some of the Finest adrenaline ta
come down the Pike and am shakin' like a leaf *laughs*

He gathers up his dead baby tellin' me again and again it's cool, and
splits.

I just sorta meltdown.

I killed Mikes baby.

ya rot in hell fer that *giggles*

tha's a Karma point ya can't repay...

A while later he calls me up sayin' he took 'er apart and removed the
brick wall and put 'er all back together again and she's workin' just
fine... he was actually kinda giddy about it, seein' it as a positive
learning experience and all... tellin' me again tha' it's cool...

Mikes too cool.

Anyway, the result of all of this is, that what with Mikes help, and the
considerable archive of pics that Tim (Cap'n Chaos) has sent me these
past days, I now have a Vast library of pics of not only Petersburg and
related interests but also of some of YOU *smirk*

I'm gonna spend the next while rebuilding the Petersburg site and
constructing some new pages... one idea is a collection of elf woods
people... another is a collection of lazyletter people... other ideas
kickin' around... not exactly sure yet *shrug*

I'll keep ya posted, but if any of you have problems with the idea that
maybe your pic will be published on the internet, let me know.

This will probably take a lot longer than I anticipate so I wouldn't
stress it too much just yet, *shrug* I dunno...

okay

I gotta go
Torbjon

 Subject:
        lazyPFI
   Date:
        Fri, 12 Feb 1999 07:22:02 -0800

Cindy built a website for PFI and sent me the link to it this morn'...

and here I am passin' it on to you.

So,

here's the Official Petersburg Fisheries Inc. site

*shrug*

 http://www.hookedonfish.com/

another point of view in an ever changing world

Cap'n Chaos called me last night, I gotta go work today an' unload a van
nobody wants ta deal with *shrug*  Maybe half a days work, then I'm back
ta sortin' pictures *grin*

I gotta go
Torbjon

 Subject:
        lazysigh
   Date:
        Sat, 13 Feb 1999 09:00:08 -0800

*yawn*

*stretch*

mmmph...

devising catagories and deviding up photos is not as easy as it could
be...

I mean, for the most part it's Pure Sesame Street, ya know?  Boats with
Boats, Whales with Whales, Factory with Factory... *shrug* pretty easy,
yes?

But what about the shot of the Boat with the Factory in the background
and a Whale breeching in the foreground?  *laughs*

oh well.

So I finally got them all gathered up and in ONE folder... 120 of 'em...
over 4 megs of photos *laughs*  Torbtown proper is a little less than 20
megs... and here I am, wanting to build a burb a fifth that size over
night... or rather rebuild a burb

And me, with this terrible lack of sexual release and not a scrap of
drugs in the house *pout*

Well, except for the coffee, of Course *wink*

*sip*

mmmm

thank god fer the little things

*dreamy*

hmmmmm

So?  wha's up on the front?

Well, first off it started rainin' the other day *sigh*

So what snow Didn't melt is now Ice *giggles*

Nice ice, too... thick and slick *wink*

Yesterday Cap'n Chaos called me in ta unload a freight van and touch
bases with everybody before the weekend.  Drivin' down the alley ice
rink was a riot *laughs*  Steering was Not an option;  ya just sorta
gave the fork free reign an' let it slide down the alley bouncin' offa
the snow drifts on the side there *shrug*

*grins* and just that morning Mizz Batman (remember Batman?  ya, the one
tha' said I couldn't drive last herring season 'cause she only offered
her little forklift class on day shift and I was on night shift in the
freezer and Nobody told me about it) was complimentin' me on what a
groovy driver I am *bursts out laughing*

Oh well.

Sergio is gonna be the packout lead this year.  Should be intresting.
He's a can man.  And a Good One.  Only complaint I've ever heard about
Serj is his voice;  it's gravely... a Real deep throated, cancery,
scratchy, gravely voice. *shrug* Some folks seem ta have a hard time
understanding him...

Compared ta Chappo though.. *Bursts out Laughing!*  Compared ta Chappo
Serj is EASY ta understand.

Speaking of which, where IS the munchkin man?? I saw Raul yesterday,
sucker had a Nice Tan *envious* but no Chappo... hmmm

Oh well

I gotta go
Torbjon

 Subject:
        lazyThanks
   Date:
        Tue, 16 Feb 1999 09:29:49 -0800
 

Thank you all for your comments, questions, error checking, et al,
regarding the new Petersburg Site:

http://www.geocities.com/Area51/Chamber/1561/psgindex.htm

However I did not do this alone, and Thanks also goes out to;

The Bunny; (Sarah) for scanning the first batch of pics for me

Cap'n Chaos; (Tim) for sending me the whale tales and other related pics

A BIG Thanks to Cap'n Flashback (Mike) for letting me borrow (and nearly
break) his digital camera so I could scan some old photos and take a few
new ones

Moonbeam; (Cindy) for creating the Official PFI site from which Cap'n
Chaos stole some of the pics that he sent to me;

 http://www.hookedonfish.com/

And of course, a Big Thanks to You, the consumers of said site.

A future project that I have on the drawing table is a private page for
Lazy folks consisting of our names, a pic of each of us, links to some
of our pages, perhaps a short bio... *shrug* Just a concept I've been
kickin' around and would appriciate any feedback You may have on the
subject...

Tanner Crabbies show up today...

Called in at 0600 this morn to see when/if I start work today only to
find out I need ta call back at 10:00am to see what's going on *grin*
Some things Never Change *laughs*

Gonna be a Funky year

I gotta go
Torbjon

 Subject:
        lazyhumpies
   Date:
        Wed, 17 Feb 1999 10:56:41 -0800

For the most part humpies (pink salmon) are canned, but it seems like
every summer we do some upteen tons of 'em over on the cold storage
side... I distinctly remember one season were we did a million pounds of
the little buggers as I happen to tray up about a third of them
then*sigh*

Always wondered what happened to 'em 'cause you hardly ever see 'em down
south anywhere other than a can...

One of our lazy comrades and Vetran of the Fishhouse Wars (Laurel) is in
France and sent this:
 

rummaging around a grocery store over here and was suddenly face to face

with the summer. As in, all those totes of dark humpies we pulled off
the line, and sent over to your side of things. Remember them? Remember
wondering what happens to them? The really big ones with a back like
petersburg mountain and stripes the colour of a bruised corpse?
                       I have the answer.

They are cleaned, frozen, shrinkwrapped, and found in the aisle of a
french supermarket proudly bearing a sticker that reads "Saumon Sauvage
d'Alaska". And people eat them.

granted, they may not be a PFI product. Still, it reaffirms the teaching

that even dark humpies are someones dinner.

                   Thought you might want to know.

-------

Too cool, huh?

Been getting a Lot of positive feedback on the concept of a Lazysite...

be pondering it as it could very well become a reality.

I gotta go
Torbjon

 Subject:
        lazycrabbies
   Date:
        Fri, 19 Feb 1999 23:46:34 -0800
 

ech, what a day.

Okay, first order of business...

..what am I thinking?...

Okay, Second order of business, karma point;  One of our lazy comrades
has a teddy bear business.  No, really... and where as they may not be
as Tastey as salmon, they look a helluva lot more cuddly than one *grin*

check 'em out at:   http://members.tripod.com/~furbear/

Okay, next.,.,.

Next I think we'll do that First thing again *wink*

So Tanner Crab is finally here.

Day late and a dollar short, but it's here.

So today was me first 'full' day of work fer '99....

Ya ya, I know, I've had lotsa 8 hour days this year already.... an 8
hour day is Not a full day o' work... an 8 hour day is a complete
fucking waste of  time, actually *laughs*

Spend eight hours at work doin' nuthin' an' ya come home exhausted
feelin' like yer whole day is shot.

Spend fifteen hours on yer feet throwin' boxes around an' bein' nice ta
folks you'd rather just glaze, an' when  ya get home it feels Good ta be
alive, ya know?

So we packed little crabbies today. *shrug*

Sergio is runnin' the packin' room now.  He's stressin' it a bit... it's
a totally new gig for him, and Mr. B. is breathin' down his neck some

Mr. B. breathin' down yer neck over anything can be a bit unnerveing...

hmmmm

maybe I did that first thing a little Too much *giggles* because it just
dawned on me that even though I may still be a functioning unit, I
sincerly doubt I'm making sense to Anybody except, maybe, me *shrugs*

then again, maybe I didn't do that first thing Enough, and therein lays
the problem *ponders*

That seems more likely.

So Holding Five is my primary freezer.  The thing's Big.

And it gets a lot of use.

And over the years various forklift drivers (myself included) have
banged the walls and stabbed them with our forks and whacked 'em with
pallets and so on...

And a few of these dingers are up high at 12 ta 15 feet, but the Vast
Majority of 'em are down low near the ground about where you'd expect
one ta be if some one drove in there  to set a load down and got just a
bit too close ta the wall *grin*

And a while back, a year or so ago, one of these dingers went clean
through the wall and out into the alley way beyond.

And ICE started ta form in the hole...

Now, it wasn't a biggy at first, just some frost *shrug* But every day
the frost got a little bit thicker, a littler harder... After a while we
had a nice hunk of ice pushing it's way out into the alley...More time
went by... the ice grew into a valcano with thick fog pumping out of the
hole in the center and spilling across the alley way...

By this time people are comin' up ta me sayin' "Did you Know that there
is ice out there?"  *bursts out laughing*

Whadaya say ta people like that?  'huh? hmmm, you mean that valcano
sticking out of the side of the building there? naw, never noticed it
before' *laughs*

More time went by.  People came and gawked at it.  Some hemmed and hawed
over it.  Shop guys measured it.  I even caught people sniffing the fog
that came out of it....*grins*

So finally, after years in the making, it was decided it was time to fix
the holes in Holding Five,  and the Enchanted Fogging Valcano came to an
end. *shrug*

They turned off Holding Five.

They ripped the plywood off the walls all along the floor, all the way
around.

They fixed all the holes and reinsulated the wall.

They put up New plywood.

They painted.

They turned it all back on and got it good and cold.

*dreamy*

Just like NEW.

he hee heee

They finished just last week, and Mr. B and I were walkin' around in
there havin' a looksee, and he turns ta me and sazys "So, who's going to
be the first to mess up the walls?"

I didn't even miss a beat, "ME" *laughs*

*shrugs*  I do most of the driving in there so it's Bound ta be me
sooner or later, right?
 

So today, we pack out some crabbies, after dinner they are all done so
I'm loadin' a van, and now it's after dinner so Night Shift is
startin...

And Judy is the night shift crab alley driver...

Judy is one of Those People who don't get a nickname because they are
too lame for one.

So I'm in a van loading boxes an' there's Judy out on the van dock
squawking at me about this that and the other and in the midst of all
that she asks where she should put that pallet of crab and despite
everything that came to mind I said 'oh, hey, put it in that empty row I
just made'

And she drove into the freezer and made a lot of forklift sounds, and
then there was this very nice splintery crunch that was Not the sound of
a pallet breaking up Nor the delicate crispy crunch of crabbies getting
mangled.

It had the distinctive characteristics of plywood being forced to do
things it really didn't want to do...

Some more forklift sounds and then there's Judy yammering at me again
sayin' "I even knew...." and more yammering...

Turns out the bozo over in crab alley stackin' the boxes on the pallet
used a little pallet enstead of a normal sized one, so when Judy picked
it up her forks stuck out the other side about a foot....*grin*

I always thought the volcano was kinda groovy, myself *laughs*

I gotta go.
Torbjon

 Subject:
        lazyjudy
   Date:
        Sat, 20 Feb 1999 23:53:19 -0800

*laughs*

Got a lot of comments over the Judy thing, at work and here, in our
happy little ethereal home.

Apparently I'm not biased nor biggoted when it comes to 'Her who is
Unworthy of a nickname'

Here is Andy's response: "JUDY IS evil.....STAY AWAY FROM THE EVIL
ONE.........THAT BITCH IS BAD
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 

DO YOU REMEMBER THAT MOVIE "Time Bandits" IF YOU SHOOT HERE WITH A
LASER

SHE WILL EXPLODE INTO A MILLION PIECE'S OF CHARCOAL AND YOU'LL NEVER
FIND THAT LAST PIECE OF COAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!

STAY AWAY FROM THE EVIL ONE
 

..............YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED...................

*bursts out laughing!*

Funny he should mention the 'evil' thing, 'cause the FIRST thing tha'
comes ta mind when I hear her forklift comin' is that music from the
black and white part of the Wizard of Oz where the Wicked Witch is
riding her bicycle... dumbdeedumbdeedumbdumb...

lame and evil *shudders* what a spooky combination

Her husband Abel, on the other hand, despite being twisted enough to not
only Marry her, but to actually produce offspring with her.... *shudders
rather violently* ... Abel has at least earned the nickname of UnAble.

I've never had too many problems with him, but I've never had ta work
with him too much either though, so...

So I started off me day with a phone call lettin' me know tha' folks at
the plant were ready fer me ta be there a half hour ago *laughs*

The morning After the first big day, Christ I'm old. *giggles*

>From then on I was pretty much late for the rest of the day... you know
how That goes *shrug*

Some hours into this horrible lateness it dawns on me that it is also
cold, but at the time I attribute that to being old and late and out of
step with my routine and what not, but being old and therefore
incredibly wise and all knowing I say 'fuck this' and head over to the
hardware store and get me a nice fuzzy pair of gloves *grin*

That helped some.

Some hours after that...it was after lunch I think, Dan comes up ta me
and asks if I would take a tote of brine water out of Holding Four
because it's leaking all over the place.

And because I'm still late and a somewhat confused bozoboy I ask him to
take me and Show me the tote so maybe I'll actually Remember to do it.

So he does and we're in Holding Four chatting about stuff and off the
cuff I say to him 'It's Warm in here....' ta which he replies 'naw, it's
in range'

This shocked me a bit as I was sittin' there with me sleeves rolled up
and me gloves off an' feelin' pretty comfy and 'in range' is like -10F
for Holding Four...I peeked at the thermometer on the way out an' sure
enough, -8F

I didn't feel Quite so old then *laughs*

Apperantly it Really Was colder'n hell outside.

So finally ten pm rolled around and the Packers knocked off for the
night.  More than one mentioned how it had warmed up as they went to
clock out

I'd thought that too but was too busy being late and futzing with buyers
and fiddeling with numbers to pay it much mind at the time. *shrugs*

Finally, I got all me paperwork together and headed out the door...

and straight into the snow *laughs*

It had to warm up to snow.

And I gotta go.
Torbjon

 Subject:
        lazybonkers
   Date:
        Mon, 22 Feb 1999 00:05:15 -0800

So, would it bother anybody too terribly much if I just go ahead and
went bonkers Now, enstead of waiting for summer salmon??

I mean, why waste Time, right? *giggles*

So, his First day back at work, Terry, the Phantom Forker, asks if 'that
guy' will be helping me this summer (Mr. Stitts--hope so but not sure)
and if not could he, Terry, be my assistant *laughs*

And whereas tomorrow at noon the Tanner crabbie season is officially
Over, we still got about a half million pounds ta go according ta Mr.
B...*sigh*

Herring is still just a nightmare on the horizon...

And Already somebody is askin' me if they can join me summer crew
*laughs*

Terry is a good forker... if he's not careful he might find his sorry
ass strapped ta the pollcat this summer *giggles*  That'll learn 'im
*wink*

So the Packers are gettin' inta the swing of things... Serg seems ta dig
it, too... he's thinkin' about doin' it full time, tha'd be cool.  I
like workin' with him, and pack out is a good gig (not as good as mine,
but still pretty good)...lotta hours there *giggles*

See, ya gotta come in an hour early and put water and ice in the glaze
tank and set up the boxes and get the printing reading and so on, then
at lunch ya gotta do some clean up and go get More boxes and ice for the
tank... and then at dinner more clean up, more boxes, more ice... you
get the picture, ya clock in and pretty much never clock out- what's a
14 hour day to your crew is a 16+ hour day fer you *smirk*

So, today...

Some packing went on...

some vans got a little fuller...

The buyers changed their minds a dozen or so times...

Crab alley did some things I don't even want to think about *shudders*

Acts of stupidy so profound they hurt just to hear about them second
hand took place throughout the factory...

The dumpster on the van dock there filled up...

The packers brought out more trash and piled it on the full dumpster..

Quality Control type people walked by and looked at the full dumpster...

Boss types walked by and looked at the full dumpster...

Buyers looked at it and walked away shaking their heads...

A packer came out with a full trash can and looked at the over full
dumpster,  then upended the trash can on top of the pile and watched the
garbage cascade down and around the dumpster, spilling across the van
dock...

Another packer came out with an armload of cardboard and looked at the
stuffed recycled cardboard bin, and dumped his mountan of cardboard on
the ground next to the dumpster....

It was at this point that I started ta suspect that perhaps Trash and
not Crabbies was going to be my next big problem *giggles*

So I told Tim about it an' he said he'd git back ta me on that

*sigh*

Like I've Never heard THAT one before.

Sure.

And hey, I'll hold my breath, okay? *giggles*

So the packers go on break, and just like every other break they bring
out some trash and add it to the mountain, stare at it a bit in wonder,
and then wander off in a break oriented daze...

I seize the moment.

Break time is the only time I can get away from the dock for more than
ten minutes, an' seein' how I've NEVER taken the trash out in my Life, I
Knew this little adventure was gonna take some Time.

I had this big ol' gas Cat stashed that I'd stolen earlier in the day ta
do some freight and I fired 'er up and plowed 'er into the mountain of
pack trash, probing for the dumpster within.

Finally got the bloody thing dug out and I started stuffin' as much of
the mountain as I could inta it, jumpin' up 'n down on it, packin' it in
there Real Good *giggles* an' I drive off in search of....

WHERE THE HELL DO I GO???

So I'm drivin' around the plant with a bulging dumpster lookin' fer a
bigger dumpster ta dump it in an' as I pass folks they light up sayin'
'Wow! yer the trash guy? The dumpster by the yadda yadda is full...'
*bursts out laughing*

Ya, Right.  I'll get back to you on that...*grin*

Finally I bump inta Wild Bill.  He's takin' little crabbie parts out ta
reduction ta be chopped up inta itsy bitsy pieces he hee heee an' tha's
Kinda like trash, so I follow him.

So we're out there chattin' a bit, bein' polite an' politically correct
an' alla that crap, an' I says ta him all casual like "so what the hell
do I do with this shit, anyway?"

An' he points ta this big ol' dump truck sittin' over by the mechanics
shop in front of the propane shack an' says 'dump it in there'

HOW?

He laughs a bit and says there's instructions on the back of the
dumpster an' we walk over and look.  Sure enough, there's this placard
thingy on the back with one of those three pannel pictures depicting
jus' how the hell you use the bloody thing, ya know?

Step One is this big huge gouge mark across the metal.

Step Two showed the dumpster in place and the trash magically falling
out of it, as if by some unseen force *giggles*

Step Three was a combination inkblot/frozen grease smear that resembled
a butterfly

"Looks pretty simple" says I

After a bit Bill fills me in on the other bits and I give it a go;

Seems ya gotta lift the dumpster up, hook it on the edge of the dump
truck so it kinda hangs there, back up Half Way so yer forks come back
past the pivot point, then lift the sucker up, *shrugs* then do alla
that backwards ta git the bloody thing down again.

Only it's been snowin'.

An' although it's pretty flat back there, the dump truck is sitting
uphill just a smidgen....

An' the gas Cat ain't gonna go up there slowly, it's gonna sit an' spin
an' do silly snow stuff slowly...

Which means I gotta kinda, you know, charge at it a bit. *shrugs*

Not the precision forkin' I'm used ta doin' but hey, it's Trash, right?

Finally I git the thing hooked up there, and I slid back a bit, an' it's
lookin' groovy so I go for it and start liftin.

An' the thing tilts just like in Step Two which I thought was way cool
at the time so I I lift the sucker alla the way up.

Only that invisible magic force seemed to be missing 'cause the trash
didn't seem ta be goin' Anywhere....

So I yanked me forks around a bit, ya know?  Like shakin' a tote ta
stettle the fish in it...I'd lower it and stop it suddenly, then raise
it up some, lower it suddenly, tilt it forward and back a bit...

It was while I was doing this that I noticed that that invisible magical
force was indeed at work, only on the forklift, not the trash, and there
I was about five feet away from the dump truck slowly sliding backwards
with a dumpster hangin' upside down stomped Full of pack trash wavin'
around about twenty feet about the ground *giggles*
 

Needless to say it was an exciting break *laughs*

So I finally got the trash inta the truck and headed back ta the van
dock with my hard won empty dumpster and some of the cleanest adreniline
I've had in a good while *grin* when Serg clues me in on the new game
plan;  Finish up what we got, then come back in at 0400 *Laughs!*

*sigh*

I gotta go
Torbjon

 Subject:
        lazypain
   Date:
        Tue, 23 Feb 1999 23:12:11 -0800
 

so, yesterday was Hell... 0400 to 2200 *sigh*

long day...

not going back there *shudders*

Today was more of the same untill about eight o'clock tonight.

*sigh*

At eight I ripped my shoulder out

It popped right back in but too little too late, things are stretched,
things are pinched, and just BEING is agony

Not Manly Agony, not that cool macho pain

the Real stuff

The kind that brings tears

Blubbering tears.

Make it STOP tears.

and people would look at me and ask "why are you sad?"

*bursts out laughing and then Screams Bloody Fucking Murder and To Hell
with the neighbors!*

*sigh*

and its only Feburary

that's too early for this kind of shit

a massage would be nice...

*looks at the empty house*

*sigh*

oh well,
 
 
 
 
 

You see us now
We're Vetrans
Of a thousand psychic wars.
We've been livin'
On the Edge so long
Where the winds of Limbo roar
And we're mean enough
To look at
But far too old to see
All those scars are on the inside...

I'm not sure that there's anything left of me.

--Blue Oyster Cult--
 

I got a full lunch today he hee heee

too cool.

I still live (sorta)

I'm hearing rumours that Day Shift should finish up processing the
crabbies by Friday *dreamy*

Tha's like, Light at the end of the tunnel, ya know? *grins*

Okay, I gotta go

 Subject:
        lazyday
   Date:
        Thu, 25 Feb 1999 00:03:14 -0800
 

So, Cap'n Chaos shows up at work this eve ta run the Night Shift, an'
one of the First things he does is come check on me and see how me
shoulder is (hurts) an' if I could use some help (Mr. B gave me a Trogg
during' Day Shift, so I was pretty much caught up)

Chalk up a Brownie Point fer the gipper *giggles*
 

It was  a buyers kinda day...

Sometime during the chaos which is the van dock  the Nippo reps
assistant who speaks less English than Chappo came back ta have a chat
with me...

He yammered at me fer a bit in some hybrid language that is neither
Japanese nor English, an' the funny thing is, I Understood EXACTLY what
he was getting at.

So I yammered back at him in Chappoeese, and he understood That an' gave
me all kindsa grins an' giggles an' ran off ta tell his superiors the
good news *laughs*

he hee heee

"You don't need to see his papers, these aren't the droids you're
looking for"

*smirk*

Never underestimate the Power of the Force

Then, sometime after Day Shift split the scene the Hanwa guy comes
around and asks 'bout some of his stuff an' I Proudly tell 'im it's all
loaded up an' readed ta go...

Well, he freaked a bit at that an' was tellin' me it's All Wrong

So me, bein' the clever an' articulate dude that I am says "Whaddaya
mean it's all wrong??"

Thus, we had a meeting an' rattled papers an' he's goin' on an' on how
he ain't pissed at Me but Them, an' I'm goin' on an' on how hey, I'm the
bozo tha' loaded the bloody van so if it's fucked up it's my fault, so
what kin you an' I do ta fix this, keepin' in mind, of course, tha' I'm
another year older an' unloading that sucker ain't too high on my list
*giggles*

So I tell 'im my side, he tells me his side, we're cool with each other,
we go our own ways... but I know this is gonna trickle down ta me in
some way *sigh*

So then even later the SNG (now lovingly known as KNT) guy comes around
an' wants ta know why his van ain't full yet an' I tell him it's close
but we still need a little more of the large product in the 3kg packages
ta fill 'er out...

He looks at me fer a minute then says it's all going to the same place
an' I fill it up with any of his stuff, small 3kg, 25ponders, don't
matter *sigh*
If I'da known that I coulda got a container of his on the last barge

I git along with the buyers pretty good

Years ago when I was doin' production in the fish house they useta take
soki offa me trays..."this no number one,,,this number two"

An' me, bein' the very clever and highly articulate greenhorne that I
was would reply "HEY!! You ain't no fuckin' grader!! Gimme That!!!"

So they'd wait till they think I wasn't lookin and try ta peek at me
fish on the trays there, distractin' me, gittin' in me way, or takin'
fish of trays I'd already filled, just frostin' me left an' right untill
finally I ended up clubbin' each an' every one of 'em up side the head
with a fish at one point or another *giggles*
 
 

Needless ta say, they don't take big ol' heavey boxes outta me vans
without askin' me first *wink*

I gotta go
Torbjon

 Subject:
        lazyreunion
   Date:
        Fri, 26 Feb 1999 00:05:02 -0800
 

So Cool Pete tells me today tha' I was babbling in me last lazy... that
it didn't go anywhere... that it didn't have a punch line *shrug*

I pointed out the fact that even though it may have been a complete load
of dribble, he Still read the bloody thing and got what he paid for
*laughs*

Bait Boy would probably attribute my babble fests to Drugs (either Too
Much, or Not Enough--either one is not good *grin*)

Other folks might think it's the before 0600 start up and the after 2200
quitin' time...

Others still would assume its the shitty diet and harsh conditions of
the freezers...

Some would go so far as to say 'that poor boy needs to get laid'
 

Me?

I'm bettin' on All of the Above *wink*

Trish just got her first reply to her SimplyTrish letters from some
Total Stranger...

I remember the first time tha' happend ta me, an' the "Oh Shit, people
are actually READING this stuff!!" feelin' that went with it...

I remember the first time Rob said "That one wasn't funny"

I remember when folks here in town tha' I never paid no mind too before
would whisper "that's Him" when I walked by...

But I can't fer the life of me remember where I stashed those last two
pallets of Cooked Blast Grade A crabbies *sigh*

But all this babbling got me thinking...

What IS a lazyletter, anyway?

There is a formula... it is subtle, and simple, but it is there.
 

Somewhere....

Maybe with the crabbies, I dunno *shrug*
 
 

So today as I was comin' back from lunch I bump inta Marivic on the van
dock an' had a bit of Time shift as it's been quite a long while since I
had seen her.

She said I was Fat.

*giggles*

So now I'm a Fat Hairy Old Goat *laughs*

Never the less, it was pleasant seeing her again and I went away with
that disjointed 'when am I?' feeling...

So I'm waitin' fer a van and who should show up but Nells.

He ran the dock when I started work here back in '90

The 'When Am I?' decided to assert itself a bit more firmly then
*giggles*

First thing Nells said was "oh wow, they got new ramps" *Bursts Out
Laughing!!*  I've been Askin' fer new ramps for Years now, but I guess
depending upon how ya look at it they Are new ramps...

Just then me driver showed up with a van and Nells started ta spot for
him and I Twitched... *giggles*

Then, when the van was spotted Nells popped the doors open and dropped
the ramp and I Really Twitched, wantin' ta tell 'im what ta do only ta
see 'im DO it as I think it...flippin' the ramp just right, lowering it
to check and make sure it fits okay before the driver unhooks from it,
lifting it up again a bit in case the the van pulls away when the driver
pulls out from under it...

He knew ALL my little tricks *shudders*

The 'When Am I?' melted into 'Who Am I?' *Laughs*

Nells went off ta chat with the driver an' I finished settin' up the van
an' started loadin' it.

Then Al comes by fer a visit an' I haven't seen him in a gazzilion
forevers either, and He starts stackin' boxes in me van! *laughs*

What the hell, De Ja Vu too. *grin*

After the trip through the Twilight Zone the rest of the day just sort
of passed by...

Now I'm gonna pass out